Snowdrops Are For Hope
by pnaixrose
Summary: [Satoshi & Risa] Guilt. Love. They're both two powerful emotions. But together, they can eat you up inside. When all else fails, look at a snowdrop flower.
1. Recalling

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By:** pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 1: **Recalling

_Flowers: dark blue roses.  
Table covers: dark blue._

Two loud knocks echoed through the small, littered office. Yet the woman, crouched over her desk scribbling away, didn't seem to even notice. Working under a single, small lamp shade on her desk, she grew frustrated when her beautiful, long brown locks slipped from behind her shoulder to cover her work. She should really get those annoying things chopped off one day. But she had always had long hair and although she always planned to cut it, she never did.

_Seat covering: white with dark blue bows tied to the back of chair.  
Centerpiece: large, glass vase filled with water, white and dark blue candles floating on top.  
Catering/cake: ..._

More knocking - even louder this time - sounded while the woman silently stared at the last thing she had written with a sad expression on her beautiful face. She must have written this list at least a hundred times with only a few changes here and there. Yet whenever she got to the catering, she was always stumped. Of course, she could have easily written down a famous, international catering business but she simply could not. The image of her twin sister always came to mind. Harada Riku. She hadn't seen or spoken to her since eight years ago. She had only been seventeen years old when she left her hometown before moving out here to the big city, Tokyo. The last thing she had heard about Riku was that she had opened her own small catering business. Riku had always been an excellent chef so her sister wasn't surprised. Riku was very successful...in a lot of things...

Suddenly, the young lady was shaken out of her reverie as the sound of the constant knocking finally came to her ears. She jumped in surprise.

"Oh! I-I'm sorry! Come in, come in!"

The door opened and in came a middle aged woman in a very expensive looking silk outfit came in, looking younger than she really was. She had a bright smile on her face even though she had been kept waiting at the door. The woman at the desk gulped nervously as she watched the older woman enter with nervous, brown eyes.

"Gomen ne, Tanaka-san," she apologized. "I was...er..."

The older woman laughed heartily. "Now, now, Risa. I told you that you can call me Akina. Now why are you apologizing? I simply came to see why you're here so late at night," the older woman said with a slight smile. Her wandering eyes caught the paper Risa had been recently writing on and her eyes lightened. "What is that? I thought you hadn't gotten an assignment in a while? Good job on getting one!"

Risa laughed sheepishly. "Well actually Akina-san, it's not really work I'm doing. It's...uh..."

Akina laughed in merriment. "Ah! I see. You're planning your own wedding again?" she asked. "You must have rewritten it a hundred times already! May I have a look?" Before Risa can politely refuse in embarrassment, her swift boss had already picked up the paper and was analyzing it closely, nodding in approval here and there. "Looks nice! Hmm? You still haven't found a catering company? Why, I could suggest some that you might be interested in."

Risa shook her head. "No, no. It's okay. It's just that...well..."

"Ah!" Akina said with a start. "Doesn't your sister own a catering business? Do you want the name of it?" As soon as she said it, she instantly regretted it as she saw her employee's face suddenly turn glum. She silently scolded herself. Risa was never a person who talked about her personal life and she was especially touchy when her twin sister, Riku, was mentioned. But it turned out that hearing her name at here was happening more and more frequently as Riku's catering company, _Delicious Delicacy_, was slowly growing. Only a few years ago, it had started out to be an extremely small and unknown business but now that a couple of years had past, people seemed to really like the small-town girl's food. No one knew exactly why Risa was touchy about her past life before she had moved out of her old home, but they weren't about to start asking. It wasn't their business.

As the silence ensued, Akina decided to leave and she placed the sheet of paper among the other messy papers on top of her desk. She cleared her throat softly and turned around to face the door once again. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Risa. Don't work too hard. Have a good night."

But the other woman spoke up before her boss could leave the small, cramped office. "T-Tell me, Tanaka-san. Wishing me a good night wasn't your true intention when you came in here tonight. Tell me, are the rumors about me true? Am I...going to get fired?" When she got nothing in reply, Risa sighed and looked down at her cluttered desk. "Not only are you my employer, but we're friends too, aren't we? Please tell me...for old time's sake...Akina-san."

Risa knew that would strike a chord with her boss and it was indeed successful. Akina and Risa had been quite close not so long ago. As soon as Risa had gotten out of college, she was somehow accepted here at this renowned, national wedding planner agency called _Endless_, in Tokyo. At the time, Akina hadn't been C.E.O. of the agency, and it had been her duty to train the newbie and teach her the whole lot about wedding planning. As soon as the young, excited girl with big brown lovable eyes came bounding in, Akina found herself liking the girl instantly. As months flew by, Akina found the growing potential in her pupil. Risa had charisma, creativity, a feel for colors and tones, a friendly personality, and a whole lot of imagination. It was the perfect package of a wedding planner. Risa had always been known as a quiet girl, but Akina knew that she wasn't. There had always been something about her, like she was hiding a well known secret. Risa was holding back on herself because of some guilt. And although Akina was worried about her, she left it alone, knowing that everyone had their own secrets they didn't want to share.

After a year of working together, Tanaka Akina became the one in charge of the agency after her predecessor retired. She had been the one picked out of all the planners there since she had been part of the company for ages and had done great planning for a lot of important clients. It was time that the mentor finally left her student to work by herself. Usually, Risa would be doing pretty well for a woman her age. She was only twenty-five, and had already done quite a few important, rich clients. But everyone has that time of his or her life when everything seemed to be going wrong. Right now, that was the position Risa was in. And it was a pure shame.

"Risa, you have a lot of potential in you and you're already very well experienced in planning. I don't know why you haven't been getting clients this year but your records for this year prove that you haven't been able to earn enough. In fact, your year has been the lowest progress anyone has made from the past five years," Akina sighed, painfully recalling the data. She didn't understand why. Risa was an excellent planner! With more experience, she'd be one of the best anyone has ever seen. "I'm sorry, Risa...but if you don't get a client in the next month..."

There was an uneasy silence as the two women avoided each other's eyes. Risa was shaking, horrified at the notion that she might lose her job which she enjoyed more than anything. She didn't understand...nothing was going right for her. No possible clients had called her, so it was obvious that maybe no one had spread the word about her work. Getting good business in wedding planning depends a lot on getting people to hear about you. If people would only spread compliments and news about her...

It was unfair. She had always poured her heart and soul into everything in those weddings whether it had been the dresses, the catering, the color themes...everything! And now, at only age twenty-five, she was going to be fired from the career she loved?

Damn it all! Why did everything seem to tumble out of her reach?

...Just like before.

A flurry of beautiful, raven black wings. A boyish yet sly grin, hiding years of wisdom and strength. Long, lustrous dark hair blowing in the wind. And shady, piercing eyes so captivating and mysterious that someone could just stare at them for hours.

_Dark_.

A rush of heartbreak overcame her. She hadn't been able to claim his heart. She had loved him so much but even that hadn't been enough. Risa couldn't get him to love her back. And although she knew it was hopeless, she couldn't help but constantly plan an imaginary wedding for the both of them. He'd be so handsome in a black tux and a dark blue tie would match him and his personality perfectly. She'd be in the most gorgeous wedding gown ever known to man. Then, he'd gently smile down at her and...

But it was all a dream, a simple fantasy. Love was really cruel sometimes.

And then her thoughts went to..._him_. The total opposite of the handsome Dark. Boyish, cute, huge bright ruby eyes, red, spiky hair, a cheerful grin, always ready and willing to help someone out...

Niwa Daisuke.

Even though it had been years since she finally found out Daisuke's hidden secret...it was still hard to believe that the person she desired more than anything in the world had been hidden inside Daisuke, a childish, yet friendly boy.

Her twin sister's first and only love.

Sometimes she wished Daisuke hadn't confessed his secret those many days ago. The painful memories of what happened after the secret was revealed always brought pangs of guilt to her. She still couldn't believe she had done something _that_ terrible to Daisuke and Riku. She couldn't believe she had caused conflict between them...between all three of them.

But luckily, when Risa left, things had slowly patched up again. Daisuke and Riku had eventually seemed to forget what had happened...

...and they seemed to forget about her too. Everyone did.

When she had suddenly left at the tender age of seventeen to attend school in Tokyo, no one seemed to care or notice. It was alright with her. Besides, Riku and Daisuke loved each other unconditionally. They deserved each other and Risa felt awkward and guilty at the thought of interfering with their lives again. She'd probably just screw things up for them once more.

But she couldn't help but think...why was it so unfair? Why was Riku the successful one when Risa wasn't? Why was Riku the one who's first love returned her feelings when...

...Dark never even gave Risa another thought.

Risa sighed aloud, pushing her memories aside. She forced a smile at her old friend and boss. "Alright. I understand." She stared silently as her friend gave her a sad look. "I-I'm going to get going soon. It'll be midnight in just a few minutes."

Akina gave a slight nod and exited the office, wishing with all her heart that Risa would find a way to work things out. It would be such a waste of talent if they were forced to let her go.

Risa, on the verge of tears, buried her face in her hands, trying to calm herself down. She had already lost her family, her friends, her hometown and now she was going to lose her job which she had worked so hard to get in the first place. It was hopeless. It was impossible for her to get a good client within the next month. She was going to lose it all. She was going to be left with nothing.

Choking back her sobs, she reached for the leather journal in one of her drawers. Risa had had it ever since she could remember and it had all her precious, private thoughts about everything in it. Flipping through pages of entries, she stopped when she came to the single thing that could possibly help her right now.

From between the pages, she picked up a single flower blossom. She had pressed it flat, to try preserve it for as long as she could. And surprisingly, it was still in pretty good condition. It had a few drying spots on the blossom, but it was still intact. It hadn't even broken between the pages of her journal. She figured it was weird that the blossom was still in good condition even after eight long years since she had gotten it. Even if you press a flower, it wouldn't last for eight years, right? But the fact that it hadn't withered away made it all the more precious to her.

It was unlike any flower she had ever seen. The stem drooped down when it came to the blossom, causing the white flower to look like a tiny umbrella. She had had it all these years and still didn't know the name of it. And although it wasn't really big or extraordinarily beautiful, she loved and cherished it...

...for this was the one thing that had been left for her right before she left.

She didn't know who left it there on her windowsill that night. For all she knew, it could've been blown by the wind and just landed there. But she liked to think that at least one person had cared. That one person didn't want her to leave. And so, the person, whoever it was, had left it there deliberately.

Risa dreamed and wished with all her heart that it had been left by Dark. She would've been the happiest girl in the world if it had been. But she knew it was impossible. No one would see Dark again in a very long time. Besides...even if he were around, he wouldn't have cared if she left or not.

She also liked to think that Daisuke or even Riku had left it to let her know they forgave them. But Risa knew that the thought was totally out of the question. Daisuke and Riku hadn't forgiven her for what she did...even now.

But _someone_ had left it there. She was so sure of it.

And every time she looked at it, it gave her a surge of strength, a boost of confidence that everything would turn out all right.

It gave her a newfound _hope_.


	2. Requesting

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By:** pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 2:** Requesting

The twenty-five year old sighed as she entered the dark apartment. What her boss had just said to her some minutes ago was still fresh in her mind. She might lose her job...and she felt utterly devastated.

Dumping her keys on a nearby coffee table, she collapsed on top of her small couch, too exhausted to walk to her bedroom even though it was merely three steps away.

Her apartment wasn't all that big. It wasn't small either. It was just spacious enough to live comfortably. It had been tough finding a good priced apartment in the city and she was lucky enough to be able to even claim this one. It was simple one with a main room that had the kitchen sink, countertop and refrigerator to one side, the television set and couch to another, the small bathroom through the door next to the TV, and finally, a tiny room meant for her bed and dresser. However, she barely slept in her bed. On top of it were clutters and folders of color designs, themes, plans, pictures of dresses and tuxedos, tablecloth samples, and basically anything else that had to do with weddings. She was always too lazy to clean it out even though she knew she would have to sooner or later.

It would be a surprise to walk into that room and see how unorganized it was. After all, Risa was pretty much a neat freak. Everywhere else in the apartment was spotless and was cleaned regularly. It was weird how her work seemed to be the only thing she was unorganized with. She still got things done however, and she still found things even under that endless pile of stuff.

Back at home, there had been a maid to clean up after them but even so, the maid barely took a step into her room since she was so neat. Riku's room, on the other hand, seemed to get messier and messier as the day went on until finally, right before she went to bed, there were heaps of various things on her floor, dresser and bed. Yet Riku never really took notice of it. By the time she woke up the next morning, the maid would have already cleaned the huge dump and the cycle would go on and on.

A smile found its way to Risa's lips. She remembered her sister, distinctly laughing at her and saying that she was too neat for her own good. That one day, Risa wouldn't be as neat and her room would look as messy as hers.

Maybe she was right.

It was amazing sometimes how the twin sisters were so different. Riku had always been the athletic one, had always had the natural talent to cook, and had been the one who had kept to herself most of the time. Risa was absolutely horrible at sports, had never been able to even cook a decent meal once, and had always wanted to hang out and talk with friends instead of just being by herself. Their hobbies were different, their likes and dislikes were different and as for taste in men...

Risa caught herself before thinking the next thought. She dared not even think about it for it always led back to the same guilty memory.

Why was she thinking about her sister and of her previous home anyway? Tokyo was where she was now. Tokyo was her home. She lived by herself now, had a job, and had her own life. Risa had no time to be laying around thinking about the past, about her sister, and about her love life.

An image of a man flashed through her head again. He was shrouded in the shadows. Around him were his strong yet gentle wings, his long dark hair billowing in the breeze.

She just couldn't get over him...no matter what. Dark would always be on her mind...always. Try as she might he just wouldn't get out of her mind. How could she still be in love with a man who she hadn't seen for years? Further more, he wasn't even human!

Suddenly, a constant beeping reached her ears. How come she hadn't noticed it sooner?

Glad for the temporary distraction from her thoughts she sighed as she reached over to her answering machine that was beeping endlessly. She hoped it was a possible next client...boy, did she need one right now. In order to stay here and live independently, she'd have to get a good client by the next month. If she didn't...she didn't have anywhere else to turn to except...her family...her ex-home.

She pressed the blinking "Play" button on the answering machine and patiently waited out all the useless ramblings of the machine, telling her that she had a new message and the time of the caller. Risa was rather hopeful, wishing with all her might that it would be some woman excitedly asking if she would plan her wedding for her.

But what she heard instead made her whole body grow cold.

At first there was a silence and then someone – a man, it seemed – cleared his throat. But the voice that came next was unmistakable, though it had seemed to mature over the years. Deeper, wiser somehow. But Risa knew very well who it was.

"_R-Risa..._" the rather nervous voice paused, almost regretting calling her by her first name. It indeed felt awkward for her, seeing that she hadn't seen him in years. _"H-Harada-san_," it recovered quickly, "_the last we heard of you is that you're a wedding planner now. A planner in a very renowned agency I heard. Congratulations. We were all glad to hear_." Above her shock, she noticed that he was honestly happy for her. Well, what do expect? This guy was the most polite, kind boy she had ever met. It seems that it hadn't changed a bit. _"I...no, I mean we – that is, Riku and I_..." Risa cringed at the sound of her sister's name. "_We were wondering if you'd be available to work for us. That is, if you're not busy or anything. You're probably packed with work, being in a big corporation like that_." Risa scoffed. It was actually quite the opposite. "_You see...we're getting married. And...we...we'd like you to plan it._"

As a rather long pause followed as if expecting her shock, Risa's brown eyes widened, registering what was just said. Daisuke and Riku...getting married? Not that it was a surprise...but she had honestly believed that they had been married already and that she just hadn't received an invitation. It had been fine with her even though inside it tore her apart. After all, Risa was determined to obliterate everything about her past. But now she wasn't being invited to it...oh no...now they wanted her to_ plan_ their wedding?

But...didn't they hate her?

"_Just call me back, Ris – Harada-san_," the voice finally continued, "_I...I'm sorry if I bothered you with this. I'm not even sure what I'm doing. But_," his voice grew determined and sincere, "_your sister, Riku...I know she wants to see you again. She's been rather...not herself as the wedding date comes closer. I know she feels at unease knowing that you two haven't...well...met up in quite a while. So...uh...just call me back at this number if you decide to do the assignment. We've needed a wedding planner for quite some time but now with the wedding only a month away we desperately need one now. Yes, I know we've procrastinated about getting a planner for too long and now you – if you take the job, of course – only have a month to plan. But because of that I don't mind paying double...or triple even. And..._" His voice softened immensely. "_Even if you're unable to do the job...we'd still like you to...attend. Yes, we'd all like that very much. So uh...just call this number if you decide whether or not to do it, okay_?"

Before she knew it, Risa had grabbed a pen and a piece of scrap paper and had written down the number. Why she had done it, she'd never know. She could have easily just deleted the message and she could have easily just forgotten that this happened.

But she couldn't. Writing the phone number down unconsciously proved that.

For some reason, her heart felt lighter after hearing that familiar voice. Niwa Daisuke. He didn't sound like he had changed from when he was only seventeen. Still the honest, gentle, kind person she had always known.

Did he really request that she, Harada Risa, have the responsibility of planning his and Riku's wedding. But that meant that...they didn't hate her anymore, right? Was it possible?

Running her hand through her long hair, she caught sight of the cordless phone just lying on the table innocently. Should she call the newly acquired number?

Wait...she was getting ahead of herself. The first question was, of course...was she going to take the job?

Risa had never turned down a job before. Never. She had always needed the money and she barely had two assignments that collided with each other. _This_ particular one was an exception though. If she took the job...that meant going back to her hometown...which meant facing Daisuke and Riku again...which meant talking about the _incident _that had led to talking about why she left town.

On the other hand, she _needed_ this particular assignment. Especially now, when in only a month her whole career and life could crumble. If she didn't take this job, she knew that there was a slim chance for her to get another one within a month. Daisuke had even said that due to the amount of time, he would even give her double or triple than what she was usually paid.

What to choose...See Daisuke and Riku again? Or just lose her job?

Before she knew it, the phone was already in her hand and she was already punching in the numbers. Risa didn't even seem to realize what she was doing. Her throat grew dry as she listened to the endless rings, growing more and more anxious with each one that passed. After quite a few rings, she noticed the time she was calling them and mentally slapped herself at her stupidity. It was almost one o'clock in the morning! Of course they wouldn't be answering the phone now!

Almost certain that no one would pick up, Risa was about to end the phone call. But then, a click was heard, followed by a groggy, raspy male's voice.

"_Moshi, moshi_?"

Risa was so surprised that she didn't answer, just gape open-mouthed at the sound of that voice again. Of course, she had heard it only a few seconds ago. But now, she was _talking_ to it. It wasn't just recorded on the machine. She was actually _talking_ to it.

Well...if she could find her voice and say something she would be talking to it.

The person on the other line started sounding irritated. "_Is someone there?_"

Finally, Risa swallowed, hoping to find her voice somewhere hidden in her throat. "Dai_-_" She paused, remembering how awkward it had been when he had called her by her first name on the message. "Niwa."

She heard nothing except a faint gasp of shock and rustling. Then his voice came to the phone again, suddenly sounding not at all tired, but surprised. "_Harada-san? Is that really you?_"

Risa nodded, then, realizing how he couldn't see her head gesture, she mentally slapped herself again. "Yeah. How...how have you been?" She winced. That was such a stupid question. He was getting married in a month!

"_Good, good_," he replied, sounding alarmingly casual. "_So...I take it you've gotten my message? Have you decided?_"

"Yes," Risa said swallowing again. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, assuring herself that this was the only way to keep her career and her home in Tokyo. "I've...decided to take it."

She imagined him standing in shock as a quiet minute ensued. "_Th-That's great! I mean...wow...that's great!_" he said, almost in relief. But he did sound sincerely happy. "_Everyone's missed you. I'm sure they'll be happy to see you again. Of course you'll stay for the wedding, right? Our planner has to stay for the wedding. It's only polite_."

She thought a minute, not expecting that he'd invite her to the wedding after her assignment. Would she? It would certainly be an odd feeling, watching Daisuke – who had once had Dark, her first love, deep inside him – marrying her twin sister. "I-I'll think about it..." she said finally.

He didn't seem upset, but content at what she said. "_Alright then. Anyway, we'll want you here as soon as possible, right? When's a good time for you?_"

"I guess anytime's fine. Just give me a day or two to get materials, get packed and tell the agency." It wasn't like her schedule was jam packed after all. Besides, Tanaka-san will be happy knowing that she had gotten a client. "I'll drive down in a few-"

"_No, no, Harada-san_," Daisuke interjected immediately. "_I'll get a plane ticket for you. It's quite a drive from Tokyo to here. Besides, I don't want our wedding planner to be exhausted when she gets here because she's been driving all day. I'll send you the ticket by tomorrow for the soonest flight._"

"No, really, you don't have to-"

"_No I insist. You'll be picked up from the airport, too, okay?_"

She was slightly surprised by the slightly demanding voice. She was okay by driving. It trip was long but certainly not that long. "But-"

"_No, buts! I'll send you the ticket by tomorrow then. Agreed?_"

After a pause, she gave in. Might as well keep the payer happy, right? "Okay then. Sorry for calling so late."

"_No problem at all. Well, I'll talk to you soon._"

"Yeah."

And with that, the call ended.

It had to register into her mind for a minute or so, but Risa finally realized what she agreed to. It seemed like that conversation hadn't happened and was all a dream. Maybe she _was _dreaming. Or, she could be imagining it. After all, it was well past midnight and she was exhausted. But she knew that she couldn't hide from it any longer.

She had just agreed to plan Daisuke and Riku's wedding. She would be going back home.

Suddenly, Risa felt her stomach starting to hurt. How were things going to turn out when she arrived there? Surely it wouldn't be like before. Surely it would be all awkward and uncomfortable and she wouldn't be able to get her work done because of all the tenseness.

And because she was going back home...memories of Dark would soon start to haunt her even more. That was what scared her the most. Having to face her memories of him...

Oh, why had she agreed to this?

She had had to. Her career, living in Tokyo, everything she had gained while being dependent only on herself would be lost if she didn't take this job.

And she couldn't lose her life out here in the big city. It was the only thing she had left.

Risa calmed herself, breathing slowly as she lay on the couch tiredly.

This was only a client. Just think of them as regular clients. The month will go faster than you know it.

But no matter how much she tried to assure herself, she knew that in a couple of days, her life which she had been so accustomed to will be brought upside down.


	3. Arriving

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By:** pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 3:** Arriving

Looking out the plane's window, Harada Risa sat back in her chair, stretching out her legs to a more comfortable position. She still couldn't believe she was going home after all these years. After the day she had received the phone call, she spent the next day in a daze. Of course, Tanaka-san was extremely happy for her and told her it was because it looked as if Risa would be able to keep her job after all. But the wedding planner was afraid despite her boss's excitement. What if she didn't – _couldn't – _go through with it? What if it just stepping foot in her hometown was too painful?

What if she and her twin sister still weren't on good terms? After all, Daisuke could have planned this all by himself. Risa knew how much Daisuke always wanted to help people. Maybe he had thought bringing the twins together again would help them all. But at the same time, Riku might not agree. She had always been the stubborn one.

Yesterday, two days after she had called Daisuke, Risa had received the plane ticket and almost couldn't believe her eyes. It just seemed so surreal after all these years, you know? And she was beginning to think that maybe she dreamed up the whole conversation with Daisuke. But the ticket was proof that she hadn't.

Well, at least she knew she wasn't crazy and that she wasn't imagining things.

And so, here she was, in a seat, next to a quiet middle-aged woman in First Class. She still thought that Daisuke had gone too far with the plane ticket. And what was even more extreme was that he had gotten her a First Class ticket, too. It felt like a waste. She would've been perfectly happy to drive.

As the plane started to land, she held on to her seat, always weary of the rumbling and turbulence that the plane had to go through. This was how she figured being in her hometown again would feel like.

Quaky and unstable.

But she kept telling herself the same thing over and over again.

_They are just regular clients. They are just regular clients._

It didn't seem to be working at all though. She knew it wasn't the truth, that she wouldn't be able to treat Daisuke and Riku the same as her other clients. What made it even worse was that she had had to spend a lot of time with her twin, seeing that they had to decide on the perfect wedding dress and plan every other single detail about the wedding and reception.

Dear god...it was going to be pure hell.

* * *

She gave a trembling step into the airport terminal, her hand carry luggage rolling behind her as she pulled it. Good thing she didn't bring anything more.

Her eyes wandered almost frightfully as she took in the numbers of people going this way and that. It definitely didn't compare to the loads of different people she had grown accustomed to in Tokyo and she suddenly felt out of place.

Slowly, she made her way to a nearby bench, sitting stiffly as she waited for god knows who. She had no idea who was picking her up. She assumed it would be Daisuke, or possibly him and Riku together. But it seemed they hadn't shown up yet. Well actually, Risa had no idea what they looked like right now, but she figured that they wouldn't look too different from when they were all seventeen years old.

Here she was in her hometown. Yet she felt like she didn't belong in this picture at all.

And where the hell was her ride? She hoped Daisuke hadn't done this just for a good laugh, that he was just going to abandon her here. Imagine...she'd have to stay here in this darn airport until she could get the next flight back to Tokyo. Then she'd have to tell Tanaka-san that she hadn't been able to do the job, that it had been a major fluke. Then she'd have her career taken away from in front of her eyes and they she'd be living in the streets next to a bum who smelled like–

"Oy. You awake?"

The deep, masculine voice shook her from her trance and she looked up, wondering who the strange yet familiar voice belonged to. It certainly wasn't Daisuke. There was no way Daisuke's voice would be able to sound that husky.

Her thin eyebrow rose at the sight of a rather irritated man around her age. He had a striking, handsome face with glasses covering his narrow, arctic blue eyes. His hair was a strange color of the sky on a clear day and he was wearing but a simple black shirt and khaki pants. The man's lips were formed into a slight bored frown.

Who was this guy? And why did he seem so familiar?

Flicking the familiarity aside, she mirrored his annoyed frown. "Who are you?" Sure, it wasn't the most polite things to ask, especially to a stranger. However, living in a city full of nosy, boring guys taught her not to go easy on the male species of men. Most of them were masters of deception.

Dark, too, had been a master of deception. He had deceived her into falling in love with him, thinking that she could possibly have a chance with her by kissing her.

She would no longer fell for it anymore...at least that's what she always told herself.

The man grunted in reply, his eyes still narrowed. "You're not so keen on having manners to your ride to Niwa's are you, Harada-san?" he asked. "I suggest you take up on that politeness you had all those years ago. But let me tell you that I don't drive anyone rude in my car."

This guy knew her name? "Who are you?" she asked again in annoyance.

"I suppose your memory isn't all that well either? Well, you'll have to work on that along with your manners."

Risa's jaw twitched in anger as the guy looked on with slight amusement. It seemed like...like he _enjoyed_ irritating her! "Tell me your goddamn name!"

The man merely gave another brief grunt at her outburst. "Hiwatari Satoshi."

Her eyes widened in realization. The blue hair...the icy eyes hiding behind glasses...the cold yet mysterious demeanor...

Hiwatari-kun!

"Y-You were in my class!" Risa blurted, fully aware that she sounded like a fool.

He briefly nodded before grabbing her luggage from her hands.

"H-Hey! What do you think you're-"

"We'd better get moving," he interrupted. "Unless of course you'd like to stay alone in this airport."

* * *

Risa glanced at the man sitting in the driver's seat, noticing how he had deeply matured over the years. He could even be called pretty cute if only he would take off that perpetual scowl on his face. Of course, Hiwatari had always been quite popular among the girls back in the days. Yet he never seemed to care for them and had always cast them aside.

She couldn't believe how she would have forgotten him. They had always shared a lot of classes together, but she figured that being so quiet, she barely noticed him. It wasn't like he was the most genial student anyway.

Where was Hiwatari taking her anyway? For all she knew, he could now be a kidnapper.

"What?" came his gruff voice, his eyes still on the road.

Embarrassed of being caught staring at him, Risa looked ahead too, taking in the familiar places flashing by. "You...You're bringing me to Niwa's?"

After a quiet moment, he nodded slightly. "First we'll have to stop by my home first. I have to pick something up for that idiot." He looked at her from the corner of his eyes.

She shook her head, amazed at how Hiwatari and Daisuke seemed rather closer now. "Are you and Daisuke...friends?" It was a thought hard to imagine seeing that Hiwatari never seemed to have any of those close kind of friends. So since he seemed to be picking up stuff for Daisuke, Risa only assumed they were. But then again, Hiwatari and Daisuke had always held some sort of weird relationship: somehow enemies yet friends. Then she remembered what Daisuke had said all those years ago. Hiwatari had had that eerie counterpart of Dark in him...Krad.

He and Daisuke seemed more alike than she thought.

But Hiwatari Satoshi only seemed to laugh sourly at her question. "Hardly. Daisuke just makes me do all his chores."

However, Risa noticed how he had mentioned Daisuke by his first name...an act proving that you had to be pretty familiar with the person. She didn't point it out though, knowing that Hiwatari would only reply with a caustic or sarcastic remark.

As they came to a stop light, her mind blanked out as her eyes widened. In front of them was the town's central. It had been the place where she and Dark had gone out on a date those many years ago. She remembered how ecstatic she had been, how lucky she had felt, and how handsome he had looked, his noticeable, long purple hair tucked in, covered by a hat. His eyes had looked stunning and his smile had been gorgeous.

Then...he had kissed her.

Her hand had gripped the leather chair beneath her so tightly that the man next to her even seemed to notice her behavior.

"P-P-Please..." she pleaded, forcing her eyes away from the area. "Please drive."

"I'm afraid I can't, Harada-san, seeing that I'm at a stop light," he replied sarcastically.

Suddenly she burst into a fit of anger. "I don't care! Just get out of here! It reminds me too much of...of..." Her voice faded as she glared at him. Then, after a tense second she sighed and looked down at her lap, refusing to look at either Hiwatari or anywhere outside the car.

Satoshi looked at the trembling girl, covering her eyes with her bangs. So Harada Risa was still hung up on _him_, eh? She still couldn't get her mind off Dark? Even after all these years? But then again, she didn't seem to be the type of girl who would forget things such as her first love...or how Dark had rejected her.

He looked ahead at the traffic light, seeing the bright red light still shining. Yet there were currently no cars passing. The thought of passing the red light ran through his mind. Barely even thinking, he decided to do it. After all, even if they were caught, it wasn't probable that any policeman would give their chief a ticket.

Satoshi floored the acceleration pedal and the car sped off, passing through the light.

Risa looked up, slightly surprised by the sudden moving of the car. The light had been red still! She peered at Hiwatari carefully. Had he done that for her?

Satoshi seemed to know exactly what was on the girl's mind and so, to cover up, he said a simple "I hate waiting for those stupid lights." She didn't seem to buy the excuse, yet she didn't protest or say anything, which was perplexing since Harada Risa was one who always spoke her mind.

But what confused him more was his own actions. Why had he passed that light? Had he done it for the girl's sake? Had he done it because Harada had looked so pathetic sitting there, trying to force the memory of Dark out of her mind? He had done an odd thing...after all, it wasn't everyday he broke a law to save a girl from a horrible, past love.

Whatever. It wasn't important.

* * *

Risa peered in from behind Hiwatari into the dark, bleak apartment. As he walked inside, she followed slowly, taking in the surroundings. Hiwatari left her in the main room without a word, so she stood there uncomfortably.

The whole place was dim and drably, with lots of littered papers all over the place. It looked even worse than her bed back in Tokyo. But she wasn't surprised that Hiwatari had all these files lying around. If he was still chief of the police, it would be perfectly understandable. But jeez, at least clean up a little bit when a guest comes.

She ambled towards the book shelves along the sides of the walls, looking at all the different books. Did he read all of these boring subjects? She had heard rumors that he had graduated from a university at age thirteen. Why he went through school again she would never figure out.

Suddenly a shelf caught her attention. The whole thing was about...flowers?

Now something definitely didn't seem right there. Hiwatari Satoshi having books on flowers?

Reaching for a book, she suddenly heard incoming footsteps and recoiled her hand away. She doubted that he would appreciate her browsing through his flower books.

Satoshi looked up at her, jamming a small box into his pocket. "Let's go."

* * *

Risa's eyes darkened as she realized they were pulling up into a very familiar, large driveway up to a beautiful mansion. _Her_ mansion.

It looked exactly the same. The same trimmed grass and bushes. The same beautiful, large windows. The same varnished wood front doors.

As Satoshi parked, she found herself not even noticing, still staring up at the large house. When her companion noticed that the girl hadn't even budged from her spot and rolled his eyes in annoyance. He stalked around his car and opened the passenger seat door which seemed to wake her from her daze.

"If you hadn't notice...this is your home."

_Home_. She absently nodded as she got up and followed him to the front door. _Home_. It still seemed strange to her.

Suddenly, she realized how close she was from meeting face to face with her twin and her twin's fiancée again. Her throat grew dry in nervousness. Who knew what would happen next?

Expecting that Hiwatari would simply ring the doorbell, he dug into his pocket and fished out a key. Why did he have a key to her ex-home? Why would Daisuke or Riku give him one?

But before she could even inquire, he interrupted. "I have no idea either," he stated, expecting her to ask about the key.

As the huge doors opened, Risa found herself feeling almost like a stranger in her own home. Hearing her high heeled shoes clink against the polished floor, she followed in after Hiwatari, feeling strange since he seemed to be the one leading her into her own house. He didn't seem to notice though, and neither did he seem to be overwhelmed by the brightness or the expensive chandelier and decorations that adorned the main room. He had probably come here lots of times over the years. After all, he did seem like he was rather good friends with Riku and Daisuke now.

"Oy!" he yelled, his deep voice reverberating through the walls. "I'm back!"

Immediately, footsteps sounded, heading towards their way. Risa felt stiff as the sound echoed in her ear, her throat almost aching because it had gone so dry.

This was it.

A man with brilliant crimson hair who was a bit shorter than Hiwatari appeared, looking distractedly at some documents in his hand while eating a doughnut with another. With his ruby eyes cast down at the paper, he walked along casually, slippers on his feet, wearing a simple white shirt and shorts so large that they passed his knees. He seemed to be right at home. He had probably moved in with Riku.

Risa gulped at the sight of him and found herself huddled behind Hiwatari for protection.

Niwa Daisuke, looking mature yet boyish, was standing in front of her.

"Neh, Satoshi," he said, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and frustration as he looked down at the paper, "Don't get married...or at least if you do, don't start planning only a month before. Riku wrote down a whole list of things to do and I don't understand a bit of it!"

Wow, his voice had definitely changed a lot. Yet, even if it had deepened quite a bit, it still had that familiar ring to it and it was definitely not as deep as Hiwatari's.

"You fool," Satoshi said, almost amused. "Why don't you ask your little wedding planner over here?"

Daisuke's eyes immediately shot up and widened in surprise and he almost dropped his doughnut in the process. He spotted a woman his age almost hiding behind his best friend, looking away uncomfortably.

Harada Risa.

It had been ages since he last saw her...it had been ages since his wife-to-be had mentioned her twin's name. Yet Daisuke knew that Riku missed her sister dearly and was just too stubborn to admit it. He had missed Risa too despite what had happened all those years ago...

But that was aside the point. They were adults now. They were no longer teenagers. And Risa had been distraught then, still brooding over Dark's rejection and disappearance.

She...She hadn't been thinking straight then.

"Ris-" There was an uneasy pause and he inwardly scolded himself by making the situation worse. It wasn't time to go on a first name basis yet. "Harada-san!" he exclaimed, trying to mask his mistake. A smile was on his lips. "It's been so long!"

Risa nodded awkwardly, feeling herself to force a smile. It would do no good if she was here being a mute and acting like a log in front of her clients. She had to do this job...she had to do this job...

She had to resist the urge to follow Hiwatari as he deftly stepped out of the way and to her side. She had felt much more comfortable watching from behind him.

She watched as Daisuke made a move to reach for her hand to shake it, but he realized that he still had the papers and the doughnut in both of his hands and laughed in embarrassment.

He still seemed like the same, old, goofy Daisuke.

"Harada-san!" he said brightly, "I'm glad you decided to take the job! But I think you'll have the work cut out for you." The fiery haired man gestured to the paper which indeed was scribbled all over on with Riku's handwriting. "I'm no wedding expert, but I'm afraid we have a lot to get done, neh?" He laughed nervously. "Except for the wedding rings of course. We picked them out earlier this week, determined to get at least _one_ thing done, and my best man picked it up." He glanced at the blue haired man. "You have them, ne Satoshi?"

Risa almost couldn't believe it. Best man? _Hiwatari-kun_?

"B-B-Best man?" she stuttered in pure shock.

Satoshi looked away and growled in irritation as he handed the velvet case over to the other man. Somehow being Daisuke's best man still embarrassed him. He, of course, hadn't expected it. After all, Niwa Daisuke was a lively, friendly fellow who must have had lots of other friends who could be his best man. But he picked Satoshi. Why?...he'd never know.

Well, he guessed that he and Daisuke _were_ kind of like best friends..._kind of_.

Daisuke chuckled at Risa's reaction. "Yeah. We're like best friends..." he glanced at the quiet male, "...of sorts. Anyway, Riku should be back any minute now. She just went to check on-"

Suddenly, there was a sound of a door opening from the back of the house and Risa felt her throat tighten even more as she bit her bottom lip. Footsteps sounded. Her mind was telling her to run but her feet were implanted into the ground.

Riku...she was sure to blow at the sight of her twin sister again. She would yell and scream and kick her out of her property. Risa knew it.

"Daisuke," Riku's familiar yet different voice called as it got closer and closer, "I saw Satoshi's car in the driveway. Is he here to drop off the-"

Risa saw her sister's form emerge from behind a wall and watched as Riku's mature face paled as she saw just who else had arrived. A thud was heard as Riku dropped her bag in shock.

For a long second, everything was deathly quiet and no one seemed to move or even breathe.

Risa noticed how her sister's eyes stared straight at her, and then after a moment glanced at her fiancé as if knowing right away Daisuke had been the one to plan this.

So her thoughts had been correct. Daisuke had invited her all on his own and hadn't told Riku about it.

"R-Risa...?"

She heard her name from her twin's lips and forced a chirpy smile, convincing herself that she had to always smile and act polite when with a client. It was the number one rule of a wedding planner. She just had to ignore who they were and treat them as she would have treated any other soon-to-be couple. "Hello...R-Riku..."

A momentary flash of anger flashed through her sister's eyes as they narrowed, glancing from Daisuke to Risa.

Did her sister think that she and Daisuke were having an affair of some sort? It did seem probable...considering what had happened before she had decided to run from this place. Risa didn't want to start off with this. So she cleared her throat, ignoring the anxious feeling deep in the pit of her stomach. "Thank you for hiring me to become your wedding planner, Riku..." she quickly said before her sister could imagine that her fiancé and Risa having a secret relationship for any longer. "I...I'll be honored to."

Riku seemed taken by her sister's sudden change of tone. It had suddenly become a somewhat determined one. Wedding planner? Now she couldn't get out of this. Riku knew that it would be totally inappropriate if she sent her own sister away, refusing her the job. She'd been trapped by Daisuke...but boy, would she get him later. He's still lucky she was still planning to marry him.

She knew he had done it to help...but...surprising her this way certainly didn't help the situation between Risa and her.

True, Riku had missed her beloved sister...but when she thought back to what she had done...it still angered her. To think that your own trust twin would do that was...well, it was hard _not_ to be angry.

Instead of voicing out her thoughts, she said a mere, "Yes...Yes of course." Then she quieted, making the atmosphere tense once again.

With the twins silenced and with Satoshi looking interestedly at the situation, Daisuke let out a nervous, fake cough. "Well, let's have dinner. Then tomorrow morning, we can get planning, neh? You, too, Satoshi."

Risa really didn't want to stay, but knowing Hiwatari would be staying too relaxed her somewhat. At least there would be someone else there besides Riku and Daisuke, the two people she was most uncomfortable with. Besides, rejecting the offer was against her code of politeness to clients. Furthermore, she didn't want to make things worse than it was already.

She and Satoshi nodded at the invitation.

"Let me just find a hotel and drop off my luggage-"

Risa was interrupted by Daisuke who shook his head. "No, no, we couldn't let our wedding planner sleep in a drabby hotel. There are plenty of rooms here."

But she saw the look on her sister's face and froze. "N-No, it's alright. I'll-"

She saw Daisuke give Riku a look and she seemed to swallow the frog that had been in her throat. "Yes," she said with difficulty. "You can stay here. Your room's here after all."

Risa felt herself go into a panic. She hadn't seen this coming but she definitely wouldn't be able to get sleep if she stayed here. Hiwatari wouldn't be here to give her at least a little comfort and everything wouldn't seem so awkward between the three of them. She couldn't stay here...she just couldn't. It just felt too weird. It was hard enough talking or even facing them, but living with them for the next month would certainly be horrible!

And her room? The place where she had had thought about Dark in her younger age? The place where she had confined herself and only thought about the mysterious man with black wings? No...she was certain nightmares would plague her. Nightmares of _him_. And she didn't want that. Sure she still had thoughts of him but she had tried so hard when she moved to Tokyo to forget. Staying in her old room would definitely reopen old wounds.

What the hell had she gotten herself into?

Satoshi glanced at the fidgety woman next to him. Obviously it would pain her to live here for the following month. In fact, it seemed that it pained her just to be here, seeing Daisuke and her sister again. He knew what had happened between them and knew it would be extremely uncomfortable for her to stay here.

Satoshi didn't want to leave her to all this pain...no one should feel uncomfortable being with close family and friends even if they had been through tough times.

He would know. He had always felt awkward with his 'father' who had adopted him.

Maybe his presence would ease the tension around this house.

"I'll stay, too if you don't mind," he finally said as the couple in front of them still stood, waiting for Risa's answer. "I've taken off a couple of days from work to see if I could help with the wedding somehow," he lied. He hadn't wanted anything more to do with the wedding. He was already the best man, and the best man had many responsibilities already. But he knew that Harada Risa was usually a vibrant, determined girl and seeing her at unease bothered him. She usually wasn't like that.

But he was surprised at himself. He wouldn't even think of doing something like this for anyone else, much less a girl with family problems.

The others around him were equally shocked at his request. Daisuke sputtered before finally saying something coherent. "Well...um...S-Sure I g-guess." He looked to his fiancé for approval and Riku shrugged and gave a small nod. Daisuke looked back at him and nodded. "You can take one of the guest rooms, Satoshi." Placing a mask of happiness on his face, he and Riku started towards the kitchen. "Well, we'll get dinner started, alright?"

As the couple walked away, Risa was sure that her sister would certainly have a little "talk" with Daisuke. But that was the last thing on her mind.

She was staring at Hiwatari in complete awe.

Again...again he had done something kind to her. Two kind actions. All in one day too. Why the heck would he do this for her though? They had never been especially close before...

But she was forced to cast the thoughts away as she heard Daisuke calling to them from the kitchen, asking them to take a seat and have some coffee before dinner.


	4. Bonding

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By:** pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 4: **Bonding

Risa took a look around at her old room. It hadn't changed. It seemed that no one had even touched it. But to her surprise it was dust free and well maintained. It was probably the maid's doing. She had found out that they still have the same maid that they had had all those years ago, but now she only comes once every other Saturday.

At least she wouldn't have to sleep in a dust filled room.

The girl dragged her luggage through the door and plopped it onto her bed with effort. Then she stood there awkwardly, unsure what to do next. Imagine that... feeling awkward in your own room.

Risa sighed and sat on the bed. Her room. It was so familiar yet so foreign to her. It was probably because she had tried to erase every memory of her past, even this very place. But they still lingered. And now that's she was back, they haunted her even more.

Dark. She had spent so much time here thinking about him. And even now she thought of him. Why couldn't she rid him from her mind? It had just been a silly, old crush!

But it had been her first real crush. He had been her first kiss. And you can never forget any of your firsts.

Riku was lucky. Daisuke had been her first love. And he was her only love.

A perfect couple.

At dinner there had been mild pleasantries. Not much else. A lot of forced smiles and forced conversations. They had also discussed some wedding things even though Riku hadn't spoken much and hadn't volunteered any ideas or suggestions. Risa knew that Riku wanted the perfect wedding. It was what any bride to be wanted and usually the bride was the one who controlled every element of the wedding. That's why it was weird for her twin not give her input in the suggestions but Risa guessed that it probably had to do with her coming here. If this was how her sister was going to act, this job would be much harder than any other job she's done.

Well, she'd just have to get through this month. Then she wouldn't have to come back here ever again.

No more Daisuke. No more Riku. No more Dark. No more pain. Or at least, less pain than what she felt now sitting in this goddamn room.

Her eyes caught sight of her old desk and for some reason she started towards it, as if on impulse. She opened the drawer and there they were. Her tarot cards. She used to predict so many things with those dumb, old cards. Her future with Dark, when she would finally be loved back by him. A couple of times, it had told her that her love _would_ be returned. But it lied. These damn cards were stupid.

She pushed the drawer closed, refusing tears to escape from her eyes. No. She wouldn't do this. If she cried now, she would never be able to get through this month of hell.

Quickly throwing on some pajamas, she grabbed her toothbrush and some toothpaste and practically ran out to the hall towards the bathroom. Right after brushing her teeth she'd go straight to bed and try to calm herself down. Maybe she'll even get some sleep. Probably not though. Not in _that_ room.

As she passed Riku and Daisuke's room, she heard voices getting louder and louder coming from inside. Oh, no. Were they arguing? An argument a month before their wedding?

* * *

Daisuke sighed, watching his wife pace back and forth in front of their bed. "Riku, please. Calm down."

His fiancée threw her hands up in the air in frustration as she glowered at the man sitting on the bed. "Calm down? You're telling me to calm down!"

"Oh, Riku. I don't understand why you're so worked up. She's your sister. You two are really close!" he replied.

"We _were_," she retorted, running a hand through her short hair. "I just...I just don't want her here, okay? You knew that, Daisuke. You knew that and you still brought her here." Her brown eyes narrowed as she turned to him suspiciously. "You and Risa...you're not hiding anything are you?"

The man raised his eyebrows. Did his own wife-to-be not trust him?

She suddenly realized how stupid that sounded and collapsed on top of the bed, face first, burrowing it into the blankets. "I know it's wrong to not trust your own sister. And I know that she was troubled when she betrayed me. But I just can't. I can't trust her."

Daisuke looked at his soon-to-be-wife sadly and picked her up so that she could cry on his shoulder. And indeed, the tears soon came. He tried to soothe her, patted her back, and rocked her back and forth. It didn't seem to be working. "This is why I brought her here, Riku," he whispered into her hair. "I know that you miss her. I know that even through all that you still love your sister. And it hurts me because it seems sometimes that you look empty, half-complete. I don't want you to be like that. I don't want you and Risa to never talk again."

"But how can I trust her?" she said through sobs. "She had everything! She had everything, could get anyone she wanted, and still she chose to try and take the most important thing from me!"

Daisuke shushed her loudening sobs, pulling her closer. "Riku...that was the past. She was lost back then. She was lost and heartbroken because of Dark. It wasn't her fault. It was in the past."

Riku looked up at his ruby eyes tearfully. "Daisuke...I can't forget the past that easily. I can't _forgive _her that easily..."

* * *

Risa's eyes shadowed, overhearing their entire conversation through the bedroom door. A wave of hurt rushed through her. Her hand was clenching the toothpaste so hard that the top popped off and toothpaste sprayed all over the hallway. But Risa ignored it and ran back towards her room, trying to forget what had been said in Riku and Daisuke's room.

* * *

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

It was three o'clock in the morning and still her eyes refused to close. Her brain refused to sleep.

Her heart refused to stop throbbing with pain.

She simply sat there on her bed in the darkened room. She had been like that for the past few hours and hadn't even moved a muscle.

Okay, so she wasn't surprised about her sister hating her, refusing to forgive her. She had expected it. After all, if she were in Riku's shoes, she probably wouldn't have forgiven herself either. But hearing Riku actually say it...it really did hurt. They were sisters. They were twins. They had counted on each other since their parents had constantly been away from home. And they had been best friends despite their many differences.

But Risa had broken her trust. She had ruined their entire relationship.

But at least now she knew she had one thing in common with her twin. They both refused to let go of the past.

Sighing, she finally rose from her bed and headed to the door. Padding through the hallway and down the stairs as silently as she could, she was heading towards the kitchen to get a glass of milk. Maybe it would help her fall asleep.

Suddenly in the darkness, she felt a hand grabbed her arm and she jumped in fright, ready to scream. But she found that a hand was already covering her mouth and she struggled, scared to death.

"Calm down!" a familiar voice said with aggravation.

Heart racing, she stopped in mid-struggle and peered into the darkness as the hand slid off her mouth. A flash of blue caught her eye. It was only Hiwatari-kun.

"Y-You scared me half to death, dammit!" she whispered loudly, trying to clam herself. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I heard a noise. I suppose you can't sleep?"

"No," she replied softly as she looked away.

But Satoshi had already caught that look in her eyes. Something had probably happened. Or maybe it was the whole situation altogether. Whatever it was, he knew that she was hurting inside. And hurting badly. There was an awkward pause in the air before he gave a slight grunt and walked away toward the living room.

Not really knowing if he wanted her to follow or not, Risa decided to follow him into the living room which was only a room away. There was a bright fire mildly lighting up the huge room. He had probably started it before she came downstairs. Silently, they both took a seat on the couch, well spaced from each other.

She glanced at him as he looked into the fire and noticed that his glasses had been taken off. He looked...different with them off. Much older than usual. Much...handsomer. But then again, maybe it was only because she hadn't seen him in a long time. Yeah. That was probably it.

As if he knew that she was staring at him, he suddenly said, "Something wrong?"

She shook her head and looked away, staring at the fire eating up the logs. Silence filled the atmosphere as the only sound they heard was the fire and the crickets. It seemed to be like that for hours.

Suddenly, Risa spoke. "Do you...do you know what happened? Why I left?" Satoshi almost didn't hear the girl. She was speaking in a very low whisper.

He didn't respond and only looked at her face, gleaming against the fire's glow. She had a faraway look in her eyes and a depressed smile on her face. He didn't know what to say. What _can_ he say? Should he tell her the truth? That he knew all about what had happened?

"I betrayed Riku. I betrayed my sister." She just kept right on talking as if she were talking to only herself. "I tried to take away the one and only thing she had so much passion and love for."

Her shoulders started quaking and that sad smile was slowly fading. Satoshi didn't know what to do. He had never been in this situation before.

"I remember...I was so caught up with Dark. So heartbroken and alone. So much confusion. He was gone. I was depressed. But he didn't want me when he had been here anyway but I still loved him." A tear fell from her eye. She could no longer help it. Even though she had sworn to herself that she wouldn't cry, here she was, crying. Here she was...remembering. "D-Daisuke told Riku and I about...how he _was_ Dark. That it was in his blood and all that." She looked down at her lap. "It was so confusing – it still is. I couldn't – I can't comprehend it. All I knew was that Dark was Daisuke somehow. Dark. _My_ Dark. I-I lost it afterwards. Daisuke seemed different to me. I couldn't be around him without seeing Dark in his place. I don't know what was wrong with me."

By now she was rambling and crying her eyes out. Satoshi's muscles twitched as he listened to her watery story. He wanted to help her somehow. She had been so lost back then...and still a little lost today.

"O-One day, Daisuke came over to meet Riku or something but she hadn't arrived home yet. Next thing I knew it, I was...All I saw was Dark and...I..."

She cried openly now, yet tried to keep her voice hushed as to not wake anyone who was asleep. Risa couldn't say what happened next, but she remembered it all too well. She suddenly found herself on top of Daisuke on the couch, kissing him fiercely, even going as far as trying to unbutton his clothes. But in her eyes, it wasn't Daisuke, it was Dark. Instead of bright, scarlet spikes of hair, it had been midnight purple locks. Instead of cheerful, ruby eyes, it had been dark, mysterious, and seductive. Yes, she had gone insane. She knew that now. Dark _had_ been Daisuke in a way she would never understand. She just hadn't realized the fact that Dark was no longer there...or rather...she denied it.

She remembered Daisuke struggling against her but not wanting to physically hurt her at the same time. Risa had ignored it.

So much shame came with that memory. So much regret. She knew she had problems when it concerned Dark. Kissing him...but being rejected. The fact that he wasn't really human. The fact that he _was_ Daisuke, her sister's boyfriend. She knew she wasn't strong enough to hold in all of that. In the end, she wound up unintentionally betraying her beloved sister's trust.

Hearing the sobs of the woman next to him, he sat there silently. He hated it when people cried, but he never did anything about it except maybe scoff and walk away. This time, it...actually _hurt_ him to see this woman cry. He knew what had happened next in the story. He didn't even have to listen to the rest of her story. Riku walked in on the two of them and all hell broke loose.

Satoshi knew everything about this situation and actually pitied Harada Risa. She had been confused, hurt and lost. She was blind to the fact that Dark was simply gone. Now, her actions had consequences that left her feeling alone and full of guilt. He knew how it felt to be alone. Oh yes, he knew all too well. They were alike in that sense. But in another way, they were different.

Back then, she had been yearning for someone to love and for that person to love her back. It had led her to be very open with people, especially with Dark. In the end, Dark rejected her and being such an open person, it hurt her. She had poured her love for him while he had just discarded her.

As for himself, Satoshi was never open. He was a loner, which almost made him a tad bit scary and intimidating. It turned out that being completely alone didn't benefit him. He didn't have anyone to turn to, to make him feel wanted. Satoshi didn't value his life because there wasn't anything in it except pain and anguish and especially because he had been cursed with Hikari blood, which meant having Krad inside him. Being alone hurt him just like being open had hurt Harada Risa.

The two sat there awkwardly in front of the burning flames as Risa sniffled. Satoshi didn't know what to say or do. He's never been in this situation before and never really liked to see girls cry. But he still wanted to help this girl. He truly did. It was weird feeling the need to help someone. Satoshi rarely did anything good deed for anyone, after all.

"I'm sorry, Hiwatari-kun..." Risa said all of a sudden. "I've placed you in an uncomfortable position. I didn't mean to start rambling and then crying like that. I've tried to put it all behind me, I really have–"

A warm hand was placed on her shoulder and she looked at the man next to her with shock. Was _Hiwatari, _out of all people, showing compassion for her?

"You talk too much. Sleep, you definitely need it."

Still a little surprised, Risa realized that she was indeed tired. Before she knew it, Hiwatari had gotten off the couch so she would have room to sleep. In less than five minutes, her eyelids were closed and she was breathing evenly.

Satoshi looked at her for a second longer. Harada Risa had it bad. She loved someone who had rejected her. She had broken her twin sister's trust. She had had to live with these feelings for a very long time. And now, she was back where the problems had started.

"Harada-san, why do I feel so compelled to help you...just like last time...?"


	5. Trusting

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By:** pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 5: **Trusting

A few days had passed since Risa had arrived at Riku and Daisuke's steps. They had immediately started planning for fear of not finishing in due time. So far, it had always been the three of them planning together, something not unusual since it was both the man's and woman's wedding. But Risa secretly knew that Daisuke stayed with them because Riku had pleaded him to, not wanting to spend alone time with her own sister. In fact, Daisuke had been their way of communicating for the last few days. Back and forth, back and forth the conversation would go through him.

It was a saddening thought knowing your sister did not even want to converse with you. In fact, I gave her heart a sharp pang whenever her sister would avoid eye contact. And to think...they had been so close all those years ago, despite their differences.

Risa had another suspicion of why Riku had begged her soon-to-be husband stay with them. Risa had noticed that whenever she talked directly to Daisuke, her sister would watch her closely, listening intently to their words. Risa knew that her sister still didn't trust her to be alone with Daisuke. It was understandable.

Actually, Risa was glad that it was always the three of them planning together. After all, it would be extremely uncomfortable to be with either one of them alone. Besides that, even though the atmosphere was mostly tense, it was nice to spend time with them. Just like before.

Of course, the mysterious Satoshi had been there with them once in a while too. Now _that_ was strange, especially when it was clear he did not want to discuss table colors, center pieces, and everything else. Risa was grateful for his unusual generosity though, especially those first few days where he had slept over at Riku and Daisuke's house, true to his word the first day she had arrived. Even though they were in different rooms, it was always a comforting thought to know that she could simply go down to the living room to spend some awkward but comfortable moments with him. They barely talked when she did go down to visit him at night, besides of course that first night he had stayed the night and she had shamefully confessed what she had done. It was okay though. His presence seemed to calm her for some reason. It was probably because he was always calm about everything. Now that he had left her alone with Daisuke and Riku, it was somewhat saddening.

"Good morning," Risa said as she slumped into the breakfast table chair.

"Just in time for breakfast," Daisuke chirped from his seat. Riku looked up from her cereal and gave a quick, forced smile which Risa returned. Silence quickly settled over the three.

This has been the routine for their breakfasts together. Sure it was tense, but Risa didn't see it going any other way. Besides she was starting to get used to it. She'd still rather talk to them openly though.

"So, what do you want for breakfast?" Daisuke asked politely. "Some eggs? Bacon?"

Risa shrugged and gave a small smile. "I think I'll just have some cereal and a waffle," she replied as she reached for the cereal box in front of her. After getting her bowl, a spoon, the waffle, and some milk, she settled down in her seat again and ate in silence.

A few seconds later, Daisuke started to chuckle. It soon turned into full laughter as the twins looked at him in confusion.

"Honey, are you...okay?" Riku asked.

Wiping a stray tear from the corner of his eye, he calmed down a bit. "I-It's nothing. It's just that you two are...so alike!"

Riku and Risa looked at each other across the table, their eyes full of confusion.

"No seriously! Everyday, a waffle and cereal for breakfast!" he said with a smile, "When I first noticed Riku eating nothing but a waffle and cereal for breakfast, I thought it was a bit odd especially since she owns a catering business, but now seeing you two practically eat in unison..."

The twins looked at each other again and Risa gave her sister a tiny grin. "We used to eat breakfast together everyday," she said very quietly. "Always like this. A waffle and cereal. Right Riku?"

Riku looked at her for one more second before looking down at her cereal like she didn't hear what her sister said. "Uh-huh."

Risa gave a sigh at her sister's cold action and ate her cereal in silence once again. Meanwhile, Daisuke felt guilty for ever bringing anything up and ran a hand through his fiery hair. What would it take to get these two talking again? It seemed that nothing of the sort would ever happen.

"Oh, by the way, do you think you two can do the planning today without me?" he suddenly said, breaking the uneasy silence.

At this, both girls tensed and stopped their spoons in mid-air. Risa almost thought she was hearing things. "Wh-What do you mean?"

"I have some rush things at work that they won't let me delay any longer," Daisuke looked at them apologetically. "I'm really sorry."

Riku gave him a sharp look. "Tell them that you're getting married, Daisuke. Surely they'll understand?"

He shook his head. "I tried that already. It won't work on them. You guys don't mind do you? I'm sure you'll get a lot more done without a man there slowing you down." He gave a small encouraging smile.

Still glaring at him, Riku gave a curt, "Fine." She then pushed her chair back and bolted out of the room, leaving her breakfast behind.

Risa almost didn't notice. She was traumatized.

She'd have to spend the whole day...with the one person who hated her guts.

There was no way she was going to survive this alone.

* * *

Seeing a familiar apartment building coming up at the next stoplight, Risa turned to the cab driver. "It's that one, right there."

After paying the fee and getting out of the taxi, she looked up at the building. What the hell was she doing here? She was desperate. That was it. Desperate for a reason not to spend time alone with Riku. It might sound cruel, but the idea of being alone with her twin sister who hated her wasn't too appealing. She wasn't ready to do that. It was enough that she had come back in the first place.

Of course, she had thought about this predicament from the beginning. Wedding planners would often spend a lot of time alone with the soon-to-be bride since she's truly the one in charge of the event. But things had been going somewhat smoothly. She hadn't had to spend time alone with Riku at all since she arrived. Now...

...Now she was in a panic.

* * *

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

Satoshi opened a dreary eye at the sound of the annoying buzzer. Groaning in frustration, he peeked at the alarm clock nearby.

Nine o'clock! Nine o'clock on the day he was off! Who dared to wake him!

Grumbling, he fumbled out of his bed and found his way towards the door to tell the annoying person to fuck off.

Sleep. That's what he needed. Whoever that person at the door is was going to get it!

He flung the door open. "What the hell do you want?" In front of him was the blurry vision of a woman with brown hair. Dammit. He had forgotten his glasses in the rush. "Is that you, Riku-san?"

"No," he heard a tiny voice say.

That voice. He sighed aloud. He had thought that after he let Harada Risa get used to the idea of staying at Riku and Daisuke's house that he'd be able to stay in his own apartment and would be seeing less of her. No such luck...

...especially since for every night...he couldn't get her out of his mind.

Now this. What was going on with him? Why would this girl not leave him alone?

"Harada-san. It's only you..." he said gruffly as he ran a hand through his ruffled hair.

Risa turned pink at the sight of him. "I-I'm sorry...D-Did I wake you?" His blue hair was disheveled and he had no shirt on, revealing just how well-toned his body was. He wore nothing but a simple pair of grey sweatpants. She gulped, trying not to let her eyes wander over him. Why was she acting like such a child anyway? So what if Hiwatari wore no shirt when he slept? Guys do that all the time.

She caught sight of his piercing blue eyes partly hidden by his bangs and immediately blushed.

Risa had realized the day she arrived at the airport that Hiwatari Satoshi had definitely matured over the years but she didn't realized until now that he was so...attractive.

No matter. He was simply a friend – if she could even call him that. Besides, she had met more attractive guys before, like–

She shook her head before she could finish the thought. This definitely wasn't the time to start remembering about how perfectly attractive Dark was.

"Oh, sorry," Satoshi said when he realized he was half naked. He grabbed a white shirt that had been thrown aside on a nearby chair and slipped it on. Meanwhile, Risa had welcomed herself into the bleak apartment.

Peering around like the first time she had been in his apartment, she couldn't believe how..._empty_ it was in here. Sure it was messy and cluttered but somehow the fact that he barely let any light in and that he had no decoration to put around the apartment made it seem like a very lonely place to live in. How could a person live like this?

Then she realized she was being a hypocrite. This was how her apartment was like back in Tokyo. She just didn't realize it until she had met another who lived in loneliness.

Hiwatari-kun...alone? Someone of his caliber and power? Someone who was so calm and collected all the time? Someone who was so damn attractive, even though she would never admit it?

"Why are you here?" his gruff voice said, interrupting her thoughts.

Wow. He surely went straight to the point. "I...uh...I have a tiny favor to ask of you."

She watched as he sighed aloud once again. "Harada-san, I want nothing to do with any wedding plans, if that's what you're thinking," he replied. "And I think I did enough for you those first couple of nights at Niwa's. I could have easily left you there to drown in your sorrow alone, you know."

Risa frowned at his cold reply. What a jerk! Even though it was all true, he didn't have to put it that way! "Look, I know I owe you a lot, okay? It's just that...well...today a situation came up and I...I don't think–"

"Stop your blabbering, woman. Get on with it," he said clearly annoyed that Risa was here. "I didn't wake up just to here this nonsense on my day off!"

At this, Risa was fuming. How could she ever think that he was the slightest _attractive_! "You know what, Hiwatari, never mind," she stated angrily as she walked towards the door. "If you're going to be such an awful son of a b–"

Before she had a chance to reach for the doorknob, a strong hand grabbed her arm. She looked back at him angrily.

Meanwhile he rolled his narrow eyes, though slightly amused at her temper. She was almost as bad as he was when it came to a quick temper.

"I'm sorry. I'm not very agreeable in the morning," he said drowsily.

Risa jerked her arm out of his grasp, still slightly glaring at him. "You're not very agreeable the rest of the day either," she mumbled. Still, she did appreciate the apology.

Now fully amused by this little girl, he asked, "So what was your question, Harada-san?"

Risa looked down at the floor, a little ashamed. She felt like such a child asking him for this little favor. But it was the only way...

"I was wondering...would you come with me and Riku today?"

* * *

Such a simple request. All he had to do was spend some time with the twins, something that any other man would clearly enjoy. But he wasn't like any other man.

Apparently Daisuke had ducked out of spending time with them today. Now _he_ was going to be stuck with it.

Damn you, Niwa. This was certainly not in his "best man to do list."

Satoshi followed Risa as she walked up to the Niwa household where Riku was waiting. They were supposed start the day of planning a few minutes ago and Risa was late. She knew that her twin would be angry.

"R-Riku, I'm back from my walk!" Risa said. "Look who I found on the way! He decided to accompany us today."

Satoshi rolled his eyes. What a stupid story she made up. No way would someone like Riku fall for that.

Riku strolled into the room, slightly annoyed for having to wait. "Satoshi? You were out..._walking_ for pleasure? On your day off? Don't you usually sleep in until noon on your days off?"

Uh-oh. "Needed some fresh air," he replied lamely.

The twin seemed to buy it though. Well, maybe not _completely_ buy it. Maybe she didn't want to spend time alone with her sister either, just like how Risa felt.

Women.

* * *

Satoshi sighed as he leaned against a nearby wall, flowers surrounding his every side. It turns out that their task for today was picking the type of flowers for the wedding.

It was so awkward spending time with these girls. They barely talked yet somehow, even without verbally saying it out loud, they knew exactly what the other was going to say. For example, Risa would examine a flower and look back at her sister. If Riku didn't approve, she would move on without even glancing at her. If the situation were different, these girls would definitely be talking their lungs out, chattering like every other girl would do.

It was a little sad, seeing that they could barely speak to each other unless it was absolutely necessary. It was somewhat amusing, but still sad none the less.

They had finally chosen a bunch of flowers to choose from and were now sitting on at a table just outside the large flower shop examining them and their prices.

"This is way too tough," Riku said after a silent moment of examining. "Can't we just pick one and go? They're all beautiful."

"Well you'll want to pick one relating to your colors, which are red and white, so I suggest you take the ones that aren't those colors out," Risa replied.

Silently, Riku pushed them aside and only three flowers remained. The traditional red rose, a red tulip, and a carnation striped red and white.

"I really like the striped carnation," Riku said after a while. "It embodies both of my colors and it's the cheapest."

Risa nodded. "That's true. So have we chosen?"

Her twin didn't answer and continued looking at the three flowers. She didn't know how tough picking a simple flower would be! "Oh, I don't know!" she exclaimed as she sighed. "This is too hard!"

Risa giggled a tiny bit. "Yes, they say picking the flower is almost as tough as picking the wedding gown."

"Oh goodness...If I can't pick the flower how am I supposed to pick the gown?" Riku mumbled under her breath.

"It's okay, we'll think of something," Risa replied. Then she remembered something. Satoshi had had books about flowers on his bookshelf. She had noticed it the first time she had ever gone in his apartment. Now, _why_ he had an entire shelf about flowers she didn't know. But maybe he might be able to help them out.

"Hey Hiwatari, what do you think?" she asked the man standing nearby.

"What do I think about what?" he replied, acting like he hadn't been listening to their conversation.

"Which flower, Satoshi? Rose, carnation, or tulip?" Riku said. "I personally like the carnation because it's both red and white and it's the cheapest."

He walked over to the table and took a seat, examining the flowers. After a minute, he pushed the carnation to the rejection pile.

"No striped carnations. They symbolize refusal and rejection. I doubt you'd want that to be the theme of your wedding."

The twins sat there in shock. Hiwatari Satoshi...knew about flowers?

"As for the remaining two, they both symbolize love. But I suggest the tulip even though it's more expensive. They're out of season so that's why it's more expensive, but the wedding would be more unique."

After an awkward silence, Risa cleared her throat from her shock. "Y-Yeah, he's making a lot of sense actually. Roses are the number one flower for weddings and they're used more than half the time. If you get tulips, sure they're more expensive, but they're also different from what other soon-to-be married couples use."

"Wow, okay," Riku said as she picked up the tulip and stood up from her seat. "I'll tell the owner that I'll reserve these for the wedding." She looked up curiously at Satoshi. "Thanks...Satoshi..."

As she walked away, Risa was staring at the peculiar Satoshi. What a weird personality he had.

"I don't appreciate stares," he suddenly said.

"Sorry...it's just that...how do you know so much about flowers? Flowers...out of all things?" she replied. "No offense or anything, but it's a little odd especially from a person like you?"

"And just what kind of person am I, Harada-san?" he said quietly, his eyes downcast. "One who isn't able to do anything but sulk in the darkness of his apartment?"

His answer startled her. It was certainly unexpected. "No, no. That wasn't what I meant! It's just that you seem so sure of yourself. So calm. I wouldn't expect someone like that to know about flower symbolism."

He looked up at her in surprise. He was calm and...sure of himself? That's what she thought of him? Usually people would think of him as the cold commander-in-chief of the police. He would have thought that surely she would have thought of him like that especially after seeing how bleak his apartment was.

This girl was...different.

"So you think nothing like that of me even after seeing how I live in my apartment? You don't think I'm cold and cruel and anti-social?"

Risa shook her head. "None of those. After all you did help me a lot these past few days. And if you were all those things then you wouldn't have agreed to come with me today. I just kind of think you're...lonely."

Lonely...

He _was_ alone. He never let anyone into his personal life, never fully trusted anyone. It turned out that he wasn't protecting himself like he thought he was. He was pulling himself back from others.

Risa was afraid that maybe she had said too much. "D-Don't worry Hiwatari-kun. I mean...if you _are_ in any way lonely, I know exactly how you feel." She forced a slight laugh. "In fact, when I stepped into your apartment, all I did was think, 'How could someone live like this?' I'm a hypocrite though. My apartment in Tokyo...is identical to yours."

She looked up at him and his seemingly untouched expression. But something in his eyes changed. It was as if he didn't understand what she was saying at all.

"How do you do that?" he suddenly asked.

"What?"

He just didn't get this girl at all. "How do you open yourself to others...even to someone like me? Someone who you barely even truly know?"

A slight smile caught her lips. "Honestly, I think that being so open with others will be the death of me," she whispered softly. "I can easily trust someone with my secrets, my thoughts...even my heart. It turns out in the end that I'm only hurting myself."

Her heart. Satoshi knew what she was talking about. She was implying to how much she opened herself to Dark...only to get rejected.

Silence enveloped them as the slight chatter of birds singing and people talking surrounded them. Yet for some reason, as they stared into each other's eyes, they noticed nothing about their surroundings.

It was a somewhat odd sensation. They had such different personalities and different ways of thinking, but in the end they felt the same thing...

Loneliness.

"The truth is..." Satoshi said softly. "A long time ago a girl told me I should focus more on the beautiful aspects of life. That's why I got interested in flowers..."

Risa's brown eyes widened. He was...opening up to her?

"Then could you tell me what this means?" she asked as she dug into her bag and took out a small black journal. She opened it up and from inside, she took out a small, delicate flower.

His eyes widened at the sight of it. That flower...it couldn't be...

Risa let out a laugh. "I know. It's stupid of me to bring my journal with me everywhere. But this flower...it...its give me the feeling of–"

"Hope."

She looked up at him in astonishment. "Yes. Exactly. How did you..."

Satoshi stared at the familiar, fragile flower. "That's because snowdrop flowers symbolize hope."

* * *

Satoshi lay in his bed, wide awake, with an arm draped over his eyes. It seemed as if he had been trying to get to sleep for hours with no luck.

He sat up in the darkness of his room with nothing but a sliver of the moon's light escaping through the shades of his window. He sat in silence as he looked down at the carpet with one single thing on his mind.

That Harada girl.

Such a unique girl. She has a quick temper and yet she opens herself up so easily. She loves her twin sister yet doesn't dare show it. She knew how difficult it would be for her if she came here to plan the wedding, yet she did it anyway.

Damn. He couldn't get her out of his mind. No girl had ever affected him this way. Not ever. No girl had ever caused him to open up to her ever so slightly.

That's why he was afraid of her. If things continued the way they were, soon he would be so open and vulnerable to her that at a blink of an eye, she could rip him apart. That was the way trust went. If you trust someone, you're giving them the chance to hurt you. He didn't want that. That's why he had recoiled himself from people from the beginning.

On the other hand, he was so tired of being alone...so tired.

"Beautiful aspects of life, eh?..."

He thought back years ago to a particular day. He had just started eighth grade. It was fall and the trees were already filled with orange, red, and brown hues. He had thought it was a disgusting season. He had had to start fresh with the horrid school he hated so much. It was windy, cold, and bleak.

He simply hated autumn.

But then, on that day while walking home from school, he spotted a certain girl ahead of him, walking by herself. He had hoped that she wouldn't see him or recognize him, but she did.

"_Hiwatari-kun! Want to walk home with me? Riku had some club to go to today."_

Who would've thought it would be Harada Risa?

Satoshi had grudgingly accepted and they walked together in silence until...

"_Don't you just love autumn, Hiwatari-kun? It's so beautiful!"_ she had exclaimed delightfully.

"_It's anything but beautiful,"_ he said under his breath. _"It's cold and windy...and we had to start damn school."_

"_I don't think that at all. It's a refreshing season and I think the different foliage is gorgeous. Besides, you know some things only grow in the autumn?"_ She pointed to a nearby garden with tulips slowly starting to blossom. _"You think so much negative things, Hiwatari-kun. You should focus more on the beautiful aspects of life._"

And that was that.

Who would've known that the tiny conversation they had would affect him so much. Who would've known that the conversation had affected him to such a point that when years later, when Daisuke told him about the "incident" Risa has gotten herself into, he felt compelled to do something for her. Anything at all...

So he had left a snowdrop flower on her windowsill, silently telling her to have hope.

It wasn't much, but after all, they had barely known each other. Besides, he usually wouldn't do something like that.

Satoshi knew that Harada Risa had changed him that day in eighth grade. Even though he would never admit it, he was scared of what would happen now that she was back. Already she had caused him to run a red light, spend a few nights at Daisuke's and Riku's house, and spend the day with her and her twin.

He knew that he was slowly opening up to her...

...and that's why he was scared out of his wits.


	6. Shopping

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By: **pnaixrose

**Disclaimer: **I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 6:** Shopping

Night enveloped the room. Only a single moonbeam found its way through the blinds. Harada Riku glanced at the digital clock. It was three in the morning and she simply could not sleep. She merely lay there on her bed, staring at the blank ceiling, being embraced by a sleeping Daisuke.

Her late nights were not unusual. Often, ever since the day that her twin sister had left town, she would find herself with an incurable dose of insomnia every night. Over the years it had died down, but when her twin finally came back a few days ago, it had returned with a vengeance.

A quiet moan came from her fiancé's mouth as he stirred. "You haven't been sleeping well, Riku," he mumbled, not even bothering to open his tired eyes. He didn't need to see proof that Riku wasn't asleep. Call it a soon-to-be husband's intuition.

"Daisuke, Risa hasn't been eating well. She's too thin," the woman said.

"Well, that certainly was unsuspected," he replied sleepily, pulling her closer. "Maybe it's because you have a catering business and you just think she's too thin."

Riku shook her head. "Her skin's too pale."

"Her skin has always been pale."

"She seems fatigued."

"Well, any wedding planner who has been working so hard would be fatigued," Daisuke reasoned.

"Her eyes...her eyes have lost their usual luster..."

This time there were no comforting words of reason from the man she loved. Daisuke knew that Risa's eyes had indeed lost their special sparkle. Her eyes had always been as bright as stars. She had always been so cheerful and energetic. Yes, no matter how much reasoning Daisuke could give, it would only try to hide the truth: the Harada Risa they knew was fading. Not only did her physical appearance seem weakened, but also her spirits. For Daisuke, it was hard to accept, especially since he and the twins were almost like best friends all those years ago. He could only imagine how Riku felt as she saw her defeated sister.

"You're worried about her," Daisuke simply stated.

Riku furrowed her eyebrows as she abruptly sat up. "N-No I'm not! Why should I be?"

Daisuke sat up slowly and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Because she's your sister and no matter what happened in the past, Risa will always be your sister. You two have many special memories that you cherish. And seeing her like this makes you worried."

Riku turned and looked at his comforting ruby eyes and bowed her head as she hugged him back. Her eyes started to water and as they spilled from her eyes, she felt him pull her even closer.

Oh, how she hated it when Daisuke was right...

* * *

"So what's the agenda after breakfast?" Daisuke asked a quiet breakfast table. "We're both free today, Harada-san, so I thought we could accomplish something for the wedding."

Risa thought for a moment as she ate her waffle. There were still many things to be done for the wedding, which was coming up fast. The fast approaching date gave Risa a disadvantage. Weddings were usually planned months or even a year before. Since Riku and Daisuke had waited until the last moment, all the churches and reception halls were bound to be tied up with other arrangements.

"Well, I think we should book a place for the actual wedding and reception. It'll be hard since its very last minute, but I'll see what I can do. We can go and visit a few places today if you'd like," Risa replied.

Daisuke nodded. "Sounds good. Too bad we can't invite Satoshi. He's working today."

Risa felt her heart drop for a split-second. For some reason, she wanted to see that cold-hearted man. But why? Ignoring the feeling, she finished her breakfast.

* * *

"So where to, ladies?" asked Daisuke, who was at the wheel.

In the passenger seat, Riku shrugged and glanced at her twin in the back seat of the car. She was horrible at making decisions and any church at all would be fine for her.

Risa gave a half-hearted smile. She already knew exactly where to go.

"The beach."

Riku and Daisuke both raised an eyebrow at her strange decision. They had expected somewhere like the extravagant cathedral that their town was known for or even some of the smaller churches that were still just as beautiful.

Daisuke shrugged as he started the engine. "You're the planner."

* * *

Risa felt a small smile settle on her face as she took off her shoes and felt the sand move through her toes. Behind her, the soon to be couple stared at the empty beach as a feeling of nostalgia ran through them.

How could they forget? This was the place where Daisuke and Riku had confessed that they liked each other. It was during a school field trip in junior high. It wasn't a big beach. In fact, it was pretty small. Yet, memories filled their veins as they started to walk around.

"Oh, Daisuke..." Riku murmured as they walked towards the water. "I-It's..."

Daisuke caught hold of her hand and squeezed it a bit. "...Perfect."

Behind them, Risa smiled to herself as she looked away from the couple. She remembered the time that Riku had told her in a rush of excited feelings about the night that Daisuke had told Riku he liked her. Riku had gone on and on about the perfectly shining stars above and how there had even been a shooting star and how they simply sat there on the sand together.

Risa remembered how Riku's face had simply lit up with every second she talked about Daisuke. It was quite unusual actually. Riku never talked about anyone so avidly before, especially a boy. That was what Risa would usually do. That's why Risa just knew that they'd love this place...

...It was a place that contained cherished memories.

Riku turned to her twin with an astonished expression on her face. "Risa...this is...I mean...how'd you..."

"Forget some old, pretty church. This is _your_ special place. You deserve to have your wedding in your special place, don't you?"

"Wow, Harada-san," Daisuke said as he felt the ocean breeze against his face. "This is...amazing. I can't believe we didn't even think of this place for the wedding. Can we book it?"

"Well it's a private beach so it'll be hard," Risa said. "But I can probably pull a few strings. In fact, I'll go find the owner now." She gave them a sly look. "Enjoy!"

Riku watched her sister run off in silence and then she turned back to face the ocean.

Daisuke saw the look on her face and pulled her close to him. "Riku? What's wrong?"

"She...She remembered."

"Huh?"

Riku looked into his ruby eyes, her own eyes a bit watery. "I told her about this place years ago and what happened with you and me," she said slowly. "I told her how that moment had been so special to me...and she remembered!"

He chuckled. "Of course. She's your sister after all."

Riku gave a full-blown smile as Daisuke pulled her in for a hug. "Hai. My sister..."

* * *

"Hmm...we still need a place for the reception," Risa said aloud. They were in the car again, heading for home. The place for the actual wedding was set but as for the reception hall, they had already tried a few and they were all booked. In spite of their happy mood to find the beach, the reception hall seemed impossible to find.

"It's okay, hopefully we can find one tomorrow," Daisuke said from the driver's seat.

Risa couldn't help but worry though. It was one less day till the wedding. It would take some miracle to find a place for the reception in that amount of time. Tonight maybe she could do some searching and maybe she'll be lucky enough to find one. Hopefully she'd be able to find one soon since she still had to plan the decoration, the set up–

"Ne...I have an idea," Riku suddenly said, breaking Risa from her thoughts. "What if...we used the restaurant?"

Daisuke's eyes lit up. "Of course! That would be a great spot!"

"Restaurant?"

Riku nodded. "My catering business raised enough money to open up a restaurant a few years back. You know, to try and double the profits. It started off rather small and casual but right now it's become rather extravagant, I think. It's not that big, but it's not that small either. In fact, tonight the restaurant's closed to the public because we're celebrating the catering business's anniversary. It would be the first time that we've had a sort of exclusive party."

Risa nodded. "Wow, the restaurant sounds like a great place to me. I'll check it out tomorrow."

"Umm...I was wondering..." Riku said quietly from the front seat. "We still have few free seats for the party tonight...if you'd like you can...you know...you can go...to check out the place and everything. You can even bring a friend if you'd like."

From the back seat, Risa's brown eyes were wide open as she stared at her sister. Although she could only see Riku's back, she could tell that she was rather fidgety now that she had invited her to that party tonight. That invitation had surprised her immensely. During her whole stay here, Riku had barely talked to Risa. Risa definitely didn't expect her to invite her to one of her business's exclusive parties.

"O-Of course I'll go. It sounds great." She gave her sister a smile when Riku turned around to nod.

From the driver's seat, Daisuke grinned happily. It seemed like things were starting to patch up between the twins.

* * *

It was around one o'clock when Risa walked into the train that would lead to the lower part of town where most of the shops were. She used to take this train all the time in the past. It felt a little weird to be taking it now. But since Riku and Daisuke had to get ready and rush early to the restaurant to overlook the party preparations, Risa had no choice.

As she sat down in the back, her favorite spot, she looked out the window as she waited for all the other passengers to board, reminiscing about those days when she took this train to get to school or to meet up with her friends. It all seemed so long ago.

She was starting to feel rather comfortable here. And things between her and Riku seemed to be looking up. Maybe things were starting to turn around. She couldn't help but smile. But maybe this was a bad thing. After all, she was just going to leave for Tokyo again. Sure she was starting to feel comfortable here and Riku seemed to slowly open up again but it still contained memories. Memories that would ruthlessly keep her awake at night.

Tokyo was her home now...her home. The only reason she was here was to save her career. Yes, that was it. Only for her career.

"You again," a voice next to her said, breaking her from her reverie.

She turned and found Hiwatari Satoshi staring back at her, an arm slung over the top of the seat.

"Hiwatari-kun, what are you doing here?" she asked curiously. She didn't expect him out of all people to be taking the train especially when he had a car of his own.

"Groceries," he simply said, not looking at her.

"Couldn't you take your car?"

He sighed heavily as he turned to look at her. "After spending the whole night and the whole morning sitting at a desk, doing nothing but paperwork, driving a car to the groceries would put me to sleep. Taking the train and doing a bit of walking will wake me up."

Risa started to feel sorry for the guy. He worked almost all the time from early in the night till late morning. It must've put a lot of stress on him. He should really stop working so hard or else it will take a toll on his health.

Suddenly, she gave a small, lifeless smile. She was being a hypocrite yet again.

Risa realized that Hiwatari was looking at her in curiosity and she bowed her head. "S-Sorry...I was being a hypocrite again...I was thinking about how stressful working so much is for you...and then I realized...I do the same thing back in Tokyo."

Yes. She remembered those late nights when everyone else had gone home. She would simply sit there and work, work, work. Sometimes she would even fall asleep at her desk in deep exhaustion. That's why her boss or her other coworkers would often check up on her and sometimes demand her to go home.

Satoshi looked at her defeated figure with perplexed eyes. There she goes again...opening herself up to someone she barely knew. He just didn't get it. How could she always do that?

Before they knew it, the train had reached its destination. Risa hadn't even realized it had moved.

As the doors opened, Risa made a move towards it as she bid a quiet farewell to him. Suddenly she felt him grabbed her arm and her eyes widened in surprise.

"I-I'll...I'll come with you..."

"Huh? But I'm only going to get a dress for Riku's party tonight. I doubt you'd want to come with me. I'm sure you want to go home right after getting your groceries and sleep, ne?" Risa looked into his blue eyes in confusion.

Satoshi almost cursed himself out loud. What was he thinking? "U-Uh...I j-just..." Gah! What was wrong with him! First offering to accompany Harada while she shopped and now stuttering like a fool! He definitely wasn't acting like himself!

The woman blinked at his odd actions. Hiwatari Satoshi was _not_ a man who stuttered when he spoke. After all, she had always remembered him to be a serious person who never talked. And she had never _ever_ imagined that he would want to go _shopping_ for a dress! However, after a moment, she gave a shrug and a grin. "Why not?" Risa gave a slight giggle. "But I would never imagine _the_ Hiwatari Satoshi stuttering!"

All Satoshi noticed was her bright, cheery face and suddenly he felt his cheeks go warm. What the hell was going on here! This...This woman was...so annoying!

Risa laughed. "Oh! And now he's blushing, too! Maybe you should go home and sleep, Hiwatari-kun. You're certainly not acting like yourself. Maybe you're sick?"

He gave a simple glare and looked away, trying to force the redness from his cheeks to disappear. "Shut up."

* * *

Satoshi impatiently waited outside the dressing room, scolding himself for getting himself stuck in this situation. He should've known that coming along on this shopping trip would require a lot of waiting on his part. At least the store should've gotten some seats here for the men who have to agonizingly wait! Here he was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall!

"Hmph. How long does it take for a woman to change!" he murmured in frustration.

But for some reason, he didn't budge from his spot. He had every chance to just leave the girl there but no matter how impatient he was, he simply...did not want to leave.

He couldn't help but notice how strange he was acting today. Blushing? And then dress shopping? Maybe the girl was right. Maybe he _was_ sick after all.

Why did he say he would go shopping with her anyway? He hadn't been thinking when he grabbed her arm and invited himself on this little shopping adventure of hers. It had completely been on a whim. A very strange whim that he had never felt before...

Satoshi rubbed his head fervently, tousling his already disheveled blue hair even more. He was getting such a headache with all these thoughts.

"Ne, Hiwatari-kun, I'm done!" a voice called. "So what do you think?"

Satoshi looked up in confusion. He hadn't expected that she would actually be modeling the dress for him! Maybe that's why as soon as he saw her standing in front of him with her newfound outfit his eyes widened and his glasses slid a little from the bridge of his nose.

The sleek halter-top dress was a dazzling light blue color and seemed to hang onto her every curve. What caught his eye the most was the skirt portion of the dress. The two layered sheer skirt started out _very_ high at her right hip and got longer as it circled her legs so that by the time it reached the back of her legs, it almost touched the ground. Due to this rather _revealing_ front of the skirt, Satoshi was able to get a good look at her long, smooth legs that was further embellished with matching blue shoes with ankle wrapping straps.

Satoshi suddenly felt his heart beating quite rapidly in his throat instead of his chest and instantly tore his gaze away, propping his falling glasses up again. Damn women and their fine shaped legs...no let me rephrase that. Damn _this_ woman and her finely shaped legs.

"D-Don't you think that's a little..." Satoshi nearly lost his voice.

Risa was only half listening to him as she twirled a bit to see how the dress would move. "A little what?"

'_Don't twirl around like that!_' he inwardly shouted, seeing even more of her legs as she moved. "I-It's a little...revealing."

This definitely caught her attention and she looked up at him in surprise. He was forcefully turning his head to the side, yet his blue eyes would occasionally glance at her. Furthermore, a heavy blush lay upon his usually pale cheeks.

Risa smirked, trying to hide her snickers. So the cold-hearted jerk _was_ a normal perverted man after all!

Deciding to tease the usually stoic man a little, she very slowly walked up to him, making sure every single step showed off her legs. It was a little mean but it wasn't everyday that you got to seduce _the_ Hiwatari Satoshi, right? "Eh? Too revealing?" Since he was sitting on the floor, he probably had a very nice view but he was still stubbornly looking away and it seemed that he had decided that glancing at her would have to stop. "Really? Does that mean you don't like this dress?" Silently giggling, she slowly let her back lean against the wall, right in front of his turned head.

She heard a sudden, uncharacteristic yelp from his mouth and suddenly he stood from the ground, his head turned yet the other way. Risa laughed her heart out as he grumpily stood there, his arms crossed and his head turned. But there was an unmistakable redness in his face. In fact, he almost looked like a tomato! It was just such a funny sight that she even started to cry from laughing!

"Damn you women..." he grumbled angrily as she laughed and laughed, making him feel more and more like a fool every second.

Wiping the few tears away from her eyes, Risa stopped laughing with a few ending chuckles. She walked over to the side he was facing and gave him an "innocent" look. "Sorry, Hiwatari-kun. But teasing you is _way_ too much fun!"

As she walked back into the dressing room to change into her regular clothes, Satoshi felt himself let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding. He wiped at his forehead with his arm, surprised to find that he had been sweating.

He had never experienced something...quite like that before...

Damn hormones.

* * *

The two waited for the train returning to the upper level in silence, the three o'clock crowd of passengers waiting along with them. Most schools had just ended their classes for the day and many students in uniforms were waiting patiently to finally go home after a long day of work.

Satoshi hadn't spoken much during the whole shopping trip, even when they went to the market for his groceries. Risa guessed that maybe he still felt that his "manly pride" or something had been broken when she had played around with him a little at the dress shop.

Psh. Men.

Yet, he had still managed to take her shopping bag from her so that she wouldn't have anything to carry. Risa let him carry her shopping bag and his grocery bag. After all, she wouldn't want to damage his "manly pride" even more. Anyway, he seemed to be perfectly content carrying the bags. He was carrying them with one hand, after all.

They spotted the train coming their way and with a deafening screech, it stopped in front of them. After waiting a moment or two for passengers inside to exit the train, the entering passengers pushed their way through.

It was a lot more crowded than expected. In fact, people had pushed and pulled until Risa found herself trapped in a very awkward position.

Since there were no more seats left when Satoshi and Risa entered, they had no other choice than to simply stand and hold onto the metal bar. This was expected. After all, it was a rather crowded time for train passengers. However, what wasn't expected was that Risa would find herself pushed against the chest of no other than Hiwatari Satoshi.

One hand holding onto the bar, Risa tried to figure out how she came to face him in the first place. Then, realizing that it was no use of thinking about it now, she tried to ignore their current position. However, she found it very hard to do so, seeing that her body was so very close to his that she was afraid that he would feel her heart beating so rapidly.

She couldn't completely see his face since he was a good half a head taller than her, but she found that she was staring at some very good-looking lips. Lips that she would possibly deem...rather kissable.

Furiously blushing, she forced herself to stare at his broad shoulder instead. But that only led her eyes to slowly wander to his neck and then to his lips yet again. She almost fainted as she heard a slight – but attractively deep – growl erupt from his throat. She supposed that he had noticed their position too and was feeling rather awkward about it.

Breathing in his knee-weakening scent, she suddenly had an urge to...to...

Wait, what was she thinking! This guy was only a childhood acquaintance of hers. They had never even been that close of friends. Besides, if she did something as reckless and careless as that...who knows? All she knew was that she wasn't getting tied to anything – or anyone – in this town. Nuh-uh. She was going to leave this place once she was finished with business here. She was going to leave and never ever–

She never got to finish the thought because that was the exact moment she decided to look up into his face. Her brown eyes widened as she found striking, icy blue eyes staring back at her behind glasses. Her breath caught in her throat.

It was the first time that she was close enough to _really_ take a look at those icy eyes of his. She was drowning in endless pools of secrets and emotions...secrets and emotions that he seemed he wanted to let out. They dove into her soul with such longing that she found herself wanting to fill that longing.

He was alone. That's what she really found out from staring into his eyes. He was alone and desperately trying to find someone – _anyone_ – that would fill that void. Yet he shut himself in...because that's all he knew how to do. He didn't know how to let people into his life, didn't know how to confide or trust others. Risa didn't know the reason why but she had a feeling that he was scared. Trusting others and opening yourself up to them may end up hurting you in the end, after all. She, out of all people, had first-hand experience.

Suddenly, there was a slight jarred movement of the train and the crowd surrounding them shifted, pushing the two even closer together. Now Risa's free hand had somehow found itself clinging onto the front of his shirt. Her cheek was practically resting against his shoulder now.

It was then that the blue-eyed man broke the gaze and looked away. Risa felt her heart suddenly drop.

Why was it that she wanted to explore his eyes even more?

* * *

"Well, I-I guess we'll be splitting up now," Risa said softly. Satoshi nodded in response and handed her the bag of clothes and shoes she had purchased.

They were now standing at the intersection where they would have to part. The short walk to this point was deathly silent since there was no doubt they were both thinking about what had happened on the train. It was a rather hard thought to ignore.

Tearing his sight away from the girl, Satoshi started his walk towards his house when she suddenly stopped him.

"W-Wait, Hiwatari-kun."

He felt his heart jolt for a split-second and turned to her. "Hai?"

She stared at him a long while, unsure why she had really stopped him. Maybe it was to take a peek at those captivating eyes again...she didn't know. "Riku's company has some kind of fancy party tonight, which was why I bought that dress in the first place. I was wondering, if you're not busy of course, if you'd want to...come?" He stared at her emotionlessly and she started rambling, feeling embarrassed. "Oh, n-never mind. That was stupid of me to invite you. You've had a long day working and all. And you even had the patience to come shopping with me. You must be really tired so you probably want to get home and–"

"I'll go."

Risa suddenly perked up. "Huh?"

"I'll pick you up. What time?"

"Well, the party starts at six."

"I'll pick you up at five thirty."

She nodded. "H-Hai. So...I'll see you tonight." And with one last look, she turned and headed up the street towards her house.

Satoshi found himself staring at her retreating figure as the breeze picked up and blew through his hair. This whole little shopping adventure...had been quite an experience. That train ride was especially interesting...since while he was staring into those deep brown eyes of hers, he realized why he had suddenly wanted to go shopping with her today.

He wanted to be with her. All the time. Every time. Just near her.

No matter how much he was scared of her...of trusting her...he still _wanted_ to trust her. Somehow he wanted that more than anything. And he knew that he was crossing dangerous waters now especially since he was starting to long for her, both physically and emotionally. Soon he would be able to expose his soul to her and he had a feeling that once he did, there was no turning back.

Pain was all that awaited him. He just knew it.


	7. Dancing

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By:** pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 7: **Dancing

Satoshi stood there, anxiously waiting to be welcomed into the Harada mansion. He was unusually impatient for some reason and scolded himself. Why should he be? He was only meeting Harada Risa so they could go to Riku's party together. It wasn't like it was a _date_ or anything of that sort.

He sighed, running a hand through the unruly hair which had simply refused to look neat when he had been fixing it earlier. What was he kidding...? He _knew_ why he was so damn nervous. He would be spending the whole night as her escort. Whether he wanted it or not...it _was_ a date.

Pressing the doorbell for the umpteenth time, he cursed women and their long preparation times. Glancing at his watch, he realized that it was already a quarter to six. He had been waiting outside for fifteen minutes already! He had distinctly told her that he'd come at five thirty!

Getting fed up, he pulled out the spare key Daisuke and Riku had given him and entered the house without permission. He had been trying be all polite and gentleman-like by waiting out there but it became too much.

A bit peeved as he closed the door behind him he heard foot steps from the stairs and frowned. "Oy, Harada-san," he yelled in annoyance, his voice echoing throughout the huge house, "how long does it take to–"

His blue eyes widened as he saw her hurrying down the steps and his voice suddenly died down. She was simply...radiant. Her brunette hair was tied in a neat bun, showing off her long neck and elegant facial features. The "revealing" dress she had bought earlier that day looked even better on her now than when she had tried it on for him. For some reason, every single curve showed even more and he felt himself try to push down his blush. She finished the look with some dangling light blue earrings and a few thin bangles on her wrist. There was also a transparent, light blue shawl that hung loosely around her arms. And was she glowing or was that the gleam of the chandelier above them?

"Gomen, gomen, Hiwatari-kun! I really was going to open that door," she apologized with a bow as she stopped in front of him, a sheepish smile on her lips. "I should have warned you. I take kind of long when I get ready."

In actuality, she had been spruced up even more for this occasion. She tried to tell herself that it was so she could impress Riku's guests but it was no use. The only reason she took more time than usual tonight was because a certain cerulean-eyed man was accompanying her. She _wanted_ him to look at her the way she had seen him look at her when she tried on the dress earlier today. She wanted those deep eyes to look at her...to _want_ her.

She blushed, almost ashamed of herself...almost.

It was then that she realized that what she desired was actually happening, much to her surprise. Hiwatari Satoshi was staring at her with wide eyes..._really_ staring.

Her blush deepened and she suddenly felt self-conscious. "H-Hiwatari-kun?"

Satoshi ripped his eyes from her and looked around the room nervously. Damn...he was staring at her so openly! "G-Gomen...You look..." Beautiful? Gorgeous? Radiant? Without a doubt the most stunning creature he had ever seen in his whole entire lifetime? "...nice."

A lie. A complete lie.

Risa let out a slight chuckle, looking away from him. Maybe she didn't look as great as she wanted to look. She was a bit disappointed but oh well. A simple "nice" was a big deal when it was coming from Hiwatari. But it certainly wouldn't be the word she would describe _him_ right now.

He looked sharp in a proper black suit with a simple white shirt underneath the jacket. The light blue tie matched his deep eyes perfectly. He looked so suave and sophisticated...she suddenly wanted to...

She gulped and pushed the thought out of her mind. What was wrong with her?

However, his hair was still as unruly as ever. She liked his hair that way though. It made him look cute, the way his bangs fell so randomly over his glasses. He was, without a doubt, incredibly handsome. Drop dead gorgeous. She felt herself about to swoon...

"Shall we?" he said suddenly, breaking the silence.

She smiled as he opened the door and let her exit first.

Wow. Handsome _and_ a gentleman. Who knew?

* * *

Riku was _definitely_ being modest when she had told her sister that the restaurant was "not too big, not too small."

It was _huge_.

As soon as she and Satoshi were greeted by friendly doormen at the glass double door entrance, she knew that this place a lot fancier than she expected. And she was right. She stepped in and was greeted by a room about the size of a _real_ reception hall, the ones that are most expensive. A few chandeliers hung above them and vines seemed to line every wall and climb discreetly up every pillar. The floor was black marble and the tables and chairs were without a doubt some of the shiniest wood she had ever seen. They had placed a temporary dance floor in the middle of the mass of tables. She even spotted a small garden where customers could eat to the left of the actual restaurant. From what she saw, there was a fountain and gorgeous flowers that customers could enjoy out there.

Definitely not was she expected. Riku _must_ make a pretty penny with this place.

Guests who had already arrived were dressed elegantly and speaking with each other with smiles on their faces. Most of them she could see were business men and women. They were confident people and obviously had nice paying jobs. Risa suddenly felt...like she didn't belong?

"Harada-san?"

She snapped out of her reverie and looked at the man beside her. "Gomen. I-I just didn't expect anything this...elegant."

Hiwatari nodded and held out his arm. She took it gratefully as they roamed around, trying to find either Daisuke or Riku. Risa peered up at the blue-haired man. He looked like he was perfectly used to this kind of thing. Maybe it wasn't so surprising. He _was_ chief of the police. He probably went to hundreds of these parties.

Risa looked around. Almost everyone was looking at them and women were whispering to each other. Did they recognize her?

No, duh, she told herself. She was Riku's identical twin.

But maybe it also had to do with Hiwatari escorting her through the crowd. Everyone was _sure_ to recognize him.

Finally, after weaving through the stares of the crowd, they heard a familiar voice. "Oy! Harada-san, Satoshi!" Immediately, they saw an incredibly red mop of hair come toward them. "Thanks for coming!" a sharp-looking Daisuke said with his usual smile.

"Wow, Daisuke...this place is amazing!" Risa replied fervently. "How can you _not_ have the reception here?"

He laughed. "Guess it just never crossed our minds. By the way, you two look great! Oh, here comes Riku."

Her gorgeous twin approached them with a smile. "Risa, you look beautiful! And you brought Satoshi! Amazing! He almost never comes to parties like these!" she said cheerfully. "In fact, when I invited you tonight, Satoshi, you refused. Well, what matters now is that we're all here!"

Surprised, Risa looked up at him in confusion, but he simply avoided her gaze. He didn't go to parties like these? Then why did he come? Especially when he had refused to before?

Suddenly a couple came up to Riku and started chatting. "Risa, Satoshi, sorry but we'll catch up with you later," Riku said apologetically. "But please, take a seat. The first entrée will be served soon."

As Riku and Daisuke got ushered away by the couple, Risa unraveled her arm from Satoshi's and looked up at him questioningly. "You don't go to parties? But you're the chief of the police. I assumed that you did."

He grunted and frowned. "I don't like parties. Just because I have a high position doesn't mean I have to attend parties. Only the necessary ones."

"Party pooper."

"It isn't as if you particularly like these kinds of parties either."

Risa laughed. "How'd you know?"

He looked at her and suddenly she froze under his gaze. Silence fell upon them before Satoshi finally spoke. "I can tell."

Suddenly, still locked onto his eyes, she was pushed aside by a herd of women. She frowned in annoyance as they started to speak to Hiwatari in high, flirty voices. Meanwhile, he definitely didn't look all that comfortable.

"Hiwatari-san! You came! I was hoping you would!"

"You look especially handsome tonight, Hiwatari-san!"

"How are things at the office, Hiwatari-san?"

It was sickening how they were all over him when he was obviously with someone else tonight. Totally sickening.

Satoshi sighed as he tried to wiggle out of the women's grasps. Dammit. This is why he didn't like parties.

* * *

Elegant music from a live band played as couples danced on the dance floor. Risa frowned angrily as she ate at a table full of other guests and their escorts. As for her own escort...

She glanced over to her right where a crowd of women surrounded Satoshi.

Huffing angrily, she stuffed her mouth, not caring the least bit of what the other people at the table thought of her. Let them think what they want of Riku's long lost twin sister.

"Ne, Hiwatari's looking especially good tonight, don't you think?" a woman at Risa's table whispered to her friend. "Maybe I should ask him to dance with me?"

Risa felt her blood boil. How dare they ogle at him with their prying eyes like that! She sighed, knowing she should've expected this when he picked her up for the party. He _did_ look amazingly fine...she just didn't want others to look at him like that!

Wait...what in the world was wrong with her? Why was she being all possessive?

"Don't even try it! He's totally a no-go. I've never heard of Hiwatari accepting a dance from a woman before," the friend replied. "In fact, I've never even heard of him talking willingly to a woman before. I wonder why he came tonight. He should've known he would be swamped with girls."

Risa was wondering that too...

Sighing, she stood and headed towards the dessert table. What a lame party. All she felt like doing was going home and curling up on the couch with some dessert in her sweats.

* * *

"Uh...y-yes things are fine at the office...n-no, I don't have a girlfriend...no sorry, but I'll have to refuse..."

Satoshi sighed as he tried to get rid of these annoying women. Damn. Couldn't they take a hint? He knew this would happen if he came tonight, but...

He looked over at the woman who was making her way to the dessert table. Harada Risa had asked him to come. It was that reason enough to come tonight.

"Hey man, check out the Harada twin."

"Yeah, I know...Harada Risa, right?"

Satoshi's ears perked at the sound of her name. However, his eyes narrowed as he spotted two men nearby staring at her with smirks on their faces.

This didn't sound too good.

"Damn...look at those legs..."

Satoshi's eye twitched. He _told_ her that the dress was too revealing!

"That moron Niwa already scored one Harada twin...I'm gonna get the other," one of the guys said with a laugh, heading towards the lady near the dessert table.

Suddenly, the usually calm Satoshi exploded. Nearly knocking over some of the women surrounding him, he curtly apologized and headed towards Harada Risa, hoping to get there before that jerk did.

No way was he going to let some punk ass like him talk to her.

* * *

Rise pondered what to get, looking over each delicious dessert with interest. She has always had a bit of a sweet tooth, especially when she's feeling mad or upset. Settling for some pastry in the corner, she was surprised when a stranger came up to her with a smile on his face.

"Hello, Harada Risa, ne?" he said, his hand stretched out in front of him.

She nodded as she grabbed his hand a shook it. Risa looked over wishfully at the pastries and willed that this strange fellow to leave her alone.

That fake smile wouldn't leave his face. "Excuse me for sounding so rude but, would you like to dance?"

Startled by the invitation to the dance floor, Risa looked around in nervousness. She really wasn't in the mood for the dancing at the moment. "Uh..." she stalled, looking for a way out. But then she heaved a sigh. She might as well try to enjoy herself here. "Sure, I'd–"

Suddenly Hiwatari appeared next to her, an intent look in his eye. She looked at him in confusion, wondering why he would rudely interrupt like that. It certainly didn't seem like something he would do.

"Risa, would you like to dance with me?" he asked hurriedly, glaring at the other guy.

Without her consent, he pulled her away from the dessert table and the stranger and made his way toward the dance floor where a slow song was currently playing. They looked at each other awkwardly for a second before Satoshi gingerly placed his hands on her hips and Risa wrapped her arms around his neck. Satoshi swallowed, but his throat was dry. He definitely didn't plan this "rescue mission" out that well. He didn't realize he'd be in this situation.

As they slow danced in silence, they became uneasily aware of how close their bodies were, just like on the crowded train ride from earlier that day. Yet, they felt comfortable and somehow it just seemed...right.

"Satoshi..."

His eyes widened and his heart beat quickened. He looked down in surprise to see a pair of brown eyes staring up at him. A small smile was on her pink lips. Since when had they gotten to know each other through first name basis? No female, with the exception of Riku, dared to call him by his first name. In fact, not many people, male or female, got to address him like that.

But...hearing his name from her lips...

"H-Harada-san?"

Risa shook her head slowly. "That wasn't what you called me when you asked me to dance with you." She saw his eyes widen with realization behind his glasses and she giggled. "It's all right..." she replied quietly. Then, she bravely rested her head on his strong shoulder. She didn't know why she was doing this or why she seemed to be attached to this man so strongly. But hearing him say her first name, feeling his arms around her...it made her feel safe and wanted, things that she hadn't felt for a long time. "I quite like it..."

Satoshi felt himself unconsciously pull her in closer. This girl was getting closer to him than anyone else has been before. But strangely, he liked it. He wanted to spill his emotions on her...to tell her all his secrets and fears. He wanted someone to trust.

He didn't want to be alone anymore.

Smelling her scent of her shampoo, he closed his eyes, listening to the soft music playing through the air. All he could think about was how this lady's petite form fit so perfectly with his.

She was frighteningly prying him open bit by bit. But what was even more frightening was that he wasn't stopping her.

* * *

Riku caught her sister as Risa was heading to the restroom. Satoshi was back at the table, being hounded by women again, but Risa suddenly didn't mind it as much. After that single dance and after being held like that, she felt special. She knew that not many women were on a first name basis with Hiwatari Satoshi and knowing that she was one of the lucky ones who were, she couldn't help but smugly smile at those annoying women.

"Risa! Risa! We _need_ to talk right away!" Riku excitedly said.

Risa furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, noticing her twin's enthusiasm. She looked like she was going to jump up and down any minute now. However she welcomed it, having the chance to become a little closer to her twin sister. "Riku? What's wrong? Aren't you busy though?"

"This is _way_ more important! C'mon!"

Riku suddenly pulled her sister to come as they headed through the guests and into the outside garden. It was dark out now and the garden was practically empty, except for a few guests here and there. Riku dragged her toward the bench in front of the fountain in the middle of the garden and made sure that no one was near them.

Risa was still confused as ever. "Riku, what–"

She pushed her sister down to sit on the wooden bench. "Now I don't have long, but I just _had_ to talk to you."

"What's up?"

Riku's eyes seemed to brighten and Risa couldn't remember the last time she had seen Riku this ecstatic. Actually, since she arrived back home, Riku had never wanted to talk to her one on one. But now she's all excited and happy? Something big _must've_ happened to make Riku suddenly forget all that had happened between them.

"How'd you do it, Risa?"

Risa looked at her twin in bafflement. "Huh?"

"How'd you do it? How'd you get Satoshi to come...and then get you to ask you to dance! You won't believe how many people are talking about you two!"

Risa paled and blushed at the same time. "P-People are talking?"

"Of course! _Everyone_'s talking," Riku said. Then she paused and looked at her sister with a strange glint in her eye. "I saw you two, Risa...how you two danced..."

Her twin immediately looked away and blushed. "I...I-I don't know what you're talking about! It was just a dance! There was nothing meant by it! Satoshi simply asked and–"

Riku shook her head, interrupting her sister in mid-sentence. "First of all, Hiwatari Satoshi, one of the most eligible bachelors in the area, does _not_ come to parties if he doesn't have to. Second of all, he does not willingly talk to women. Third of all, he does not _ask_ women to dance with him. And fourth of all? He doesn't let _anyone_ call him 'Satoshi' except me and Daisuke. And you just called him 'Satoshi!'" she squealed.

Risa shook her head, trying to deny everything even though she knew they were all true. "I-I'm just a friend, Riku! He and I have nothing–"

Suddenly, her sister took her hands in her own and looked at her, a serious expression on her face. "Risa...you can't deny it. Something more than friendship is going on between you two," she said. "Look, Satoshi is one of my very best friends. He's helped Daisuke and me through countless times. He is _not_ a very sociable person, nor does he trust anyone easily. He's been through a lot of things a single person shouldn't go through...and he's experienced them alone. I've never seen him like this before. It's because of you, Risa. You've opened him up." She gave a genuine smile. "And I can't thank you enough. You've done something that neither I nor Daisuke, his closest friends, couldn't achieve...and only in a matter of a few days!"

Risa saw that genuinely happy look on her twin's face and knew that it was all true. There _was_ something between her and Satoshi...something she had never felt before in her life. It even felt different from when...she had loved Dark. She looked down, a slight frown on her lips. Did she want this though? Did she want to go through all that hurt again? She...She didn't want another Dark. But then again...she didn't want anyone _but _Dark. That man with the dark violet eyes had always taken her heart. She wanted no one but him.

But what was this that she felt with Satoshi? It was unexplainable. She had never dreamed that she would feel this attracted to someone other than Dark.

She buried her head in her hands. She was so confused...so very confused.

"B-But Riku–"

"Ah, Satoshi!" Riku suddenly said. Risa abruptly looked up and saw him there, staring at them with pure concern in his eyes. Risa tore her eyes away, knowing that he saw that her mind was in turmoil.

"G-Gomen. I was worried that Risa...n-never mind. I'll leave you two alone," he stuttered, about to walk away.

"No, no! I'll leave! I'm sure they're probably calling me inside anyway," Riku said, hastily getting up from the bench. She turned to her sister and gave a suggestive smirk. "Have fun!"

As the Harada twin hurried away, the two she left behind didn't move. Risa felt his eyes burning a hole through her, but still avoided his gaze.

For awhile time seemed to stop. The only clue that suggested otherwise was the running water of the fountain nearby. Even so, their isolation from the party made it seem that they were the only two people alive.

Then he moved. Suddenly, he was seated next to her, examining the garden around him.

"Che," he said, taking off his glasses to momentarily clean them with a handkerchief from his pocket. "What horrible flowers they've put here."

Risa looked up, slightly surprised that he was the one starting the conversation this time. He'd never do that. She looked around and saw nothing but tiny purple flowers in the garden. They were beautiful though, especially since the moonlight seemed to make them glow. "What do you mean?" she asked. "They're pretty."

"Hmph. They're purple Hyacinths. They're often associated with sorrow," he stated. He glanced at her. "They say that conversation heals sorrow, you know? Care to converse?"

She smiled, suddenly realizing that he was trying to make her feel better. He was...so sweet. Surprisingly, it was working and she did have an urge to spill everything to him. But she held herself back. "Why _do_ you have this weird fascination with flowers, Satoshi?" she said, purposely avoiding his question.

He was silent for a minute and she didn't think he'd answer back.

"You don't remember?" he asked suddenly.

She blinked in confusion. "Remember what?"

He let out a slight sigh, looking at the fountain in front of them, forgetting about the pair of glasses that were in his hands on his lap. "In eighth grade, it was autumn and we walked home together from school. I hated autumn...then you...you told me reasons why it was beautiful and suddenly it didn't seem as bleak as I thought it was. You said I was so negative and that I should–"

"–focus on the more beautiful aspects of life," Risa said in astonishment, looking up at him. He...remembered that day? That was the reason why he was a flower nerd?

Satoshi looked down at her, not realizing that she was looking at him. Their eyes locked.

Oh, his eyes. She remembered earlier that day when she had gotten lost in them, trying to find his secrets, trying to fill his longing, lonely soul. His eyes seemed bluer now, if that was possible. Maybe it was the dim lighting of the garden around them or maybe it was because of the fact his glasses were still in his hands. But now she saw the truth. The way he longingly looked into her eyes, the way they were slightly narrowed in pain...

He wanted her...needed her...wanted to tell her everything about him.

And she was scared. No one ever needed her like this. She had always been the useless, love-struck girl who hurt people with her own selfish needs. After all, when she had needed Dark, she had betrayed her sister. All because she needed _him_.

And she _still_ needed Dark...wanted Dark...

No. This wasn't right. This definitely wasn't right. Things were mixed up.

She was still in love with Dark.

Satoshi's eyes darkened as if realizing that his needs were denied. But when he tore his gaze away and was about to put on his glasses, she stopped him. She reached out and laid a simple hand on his cheek, turning his head to face her, blocking his arm from putting his glasses back on.

She didn't want him to look away...she wanted to drown in those eyes forever.

He was startled. Extremely startled. There was hope in those deep cerulean eyes...hope that maybe she wanted him too.

"S-Satoshi...don't hide your eyes..."

And suddenly she grew aware that the space between them was lessening. Feeling her heart in her throat, she began to close her eyes, awaiting the sweet sensation of his lips on hers...

...Maybe she _did_ have feelings for him. How else could she explain everything she was feeling?

Suddenly a voice boomed out through the quiet night and they were cruelly awakened from their dazes. They looked at each other in quiet shock as they heard Riku's voice drifting from the party.

"Well everyone, I'd like to thank you all for celebrating this special day. A few years ago, this business was no more than a simple idea of mine, but with a lot of support and amazing friends, it has become an unbelievable reality..."

"L-Let's go..." Satoshi said, putting on his glasses.

Risa calmed her ecstatic heart and had no other choice but to follow him.

Things were getting complicated...and she didn't know what to feel anymore...


	8. Fitting

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By:** pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 8: **Fitting

A beam of sunlight pierce through her eyelids and Risa groaned. Another morning, another day of work.

Another day closer to Riku and Daisuke's wedding.

She sat up groggily and realized that it was later than the time she usually woke up. The party at Riku's restaurant last night had dragged on into early morning and she was beat.

She smiled softly to herself as she yawned, thinking about the party. She thought of those blue orbs and how she and Satoshi had almost kissed…

…She didn't know why she was so giddy.

After that _incident_, they had simply gone back into the restaurant to listen to Riku's speech, joined in on the toast, and spent the rest of the evening in silence, sometimes going up on the dance floor together. Although they hadn't really talked, it had been a comfortable silence, one that simply made her feel like she had gotten closer to him than ever before. After all, they were now on first name basis.

And she liked it.

Afterwards, he had simply dropped her off at her house while Riku and Daisuke stayed and looked after the restaurant cleanup. Nothing had happened. Satoshi had simply politely nodded at her as she opened the door and she had walked in.

As simple as it had been, she still wouldn't have changed anything about it.

Walking down the stairs and into the kitchen, Risa rubbed her eye sleepily with a slight remnant of her smile still on her lips. However, she was startled as she saw Riku sitting at the breakfast table alone, eating her usual waffle and cereal and flipping through some bridal magazines.

Riku looked up at her as her twin sister walked in. Risa was afraid that it would still be somewhat awkward between them despite them getting along a little better yesterday. However, she was relieved and even joyful when after a silent second, Riku gave her a small smile.

"Good morning, sleepy head. Take a seat."

Risa was beyond surprised and gingerly made her way to the table, grabbing a bowl, milk, and the cereal box on her way. She filled her bowl in silence as Riku continued flipping through the magazine pages.

"So," Riku started chirpily, trying to break the tension, "what happened last night? We didn't get to finish our talk at the party." She gave her sister a suggestive grin and Risa blushed.

"Honestly…I don't know," Risa replied honestly. "We just…started getting along I guess."

"Risa, it _has_ to be more than that. You don't understand. I've never seen Satoshi like that, being so…free. Even with Daisuke and me he's never been so open."

Risa looked up at her cereal as she chewed. She didn't understand any of it either. "He's just lonely…I'm just a new face that he can talk to."

"You're lonely, too, aren't you?"

Risa looked up at her sister, startled, and saw questioning, but not judging, eyes stare back at her.

"Maybe you two can help each other," Riku said, "God knows we've been trying to reach Satoshi for years. And obviously something is going on between you two."

Risa sighed. She knew something was there between them. She felt it and she had a feeling he felt it too. But was she ready to start anything, much more a relationship with a guy? She had been vying for Dark and being so heartbroken for so long, she forgot that she even could like another man. The thought of someone else just never crossed her mind. "Oh Riku…I don't think so…I don't think I…can handle anything with him."

Riku nodded and decided to drop it, for her sister's sake. Risa really didn't need any reminders about Dark and Riku didn't want to be reminded either. After awhile, she looked down at her cereal and smiled. "Risa…about yesterday. Thank you."

Risa looked curiously at her sister who was embarrassedly looking down at her magazine. "What are you talking about?"

"For bringing Daisuke and me to the beach. It was perfect. And it would be a perfect place. I can't believe that I didn't even think about it." Riku looked at her sheepishly.

The other Harada twin grinned as they caught each other's eyes. Suddenly she felt like everything was going so well between them, that possibly Riku would be able to forgive her for everything she had done. It was…uplifting.

"You deserve someplace that's going to be meaningful to you." Risa winked. "And I remember you going on and on and on about that night like a lovesick little girl."

Riku laughed. "I was _not_ lovesick!"

"Oh yes, you were!" Risa retorted happily. "It was bizarre, I never saw you like that before! You just couldn't shut up about him! I was almost traumatized!"

"Why?"

"Because it was Niwa-kun!"

Her twin laughed, almost spitting milk from out of her nose, which made Risa almost spit out milk from her nose too. The two were laughing like old times at something that wasn't even that funny!

But it felt good. And Risa couldn't help but feel like she did so many years ago when she and Riku would laugh and make fun of each other when they were together.

The twins were laughing so hard and so loudly that they didn't notice a sleepy Daisuke walk in to silently smile to himself. "Are you two making fun of me?" he asked, rubbing his eye.

Risa giggled. "Of course not…"

"Yeah, Daisuke," Riku added with a grin, "It's not always about you."

The twins looked at each other again and cracked up. Daisuke simply shook his head. Watching the twins laughing as he grabbed some breakfast, he didn't even mind that he was being made fun of.

* * *

"So what's on the agenda today, Ms. Soon-to-be-Bride and Ms. Wedding Planner?" Daisuke asked just as everyone was finishing their breakfast.

"I was thinking…" Riku grinned as she held up a page from a bridal magazine, "This!"

Daisuke groaned and Risa laughed as she realized what was on the page. Pictures of men sporting tuxedos of every color filled the magazine spread.

"Oh Riku, do we really have to? You know I hate buying clothes. Can't I just wear one of the suits that I already have?"

Riku shook her head as she got up to place her dishes in the sink. "Daisuke, you are not going to wear one of those shabby things to your own wedding! We are renting a tux and that's final!" She stopped to give him a peck on the lips before finally putting all her dishes away and start washing them.

Daisuke looked across the breakfast table and caught Risa's eye. "See? She's already turning into bridezilla!"

Risa laughed heartily as Riku gave him a playful glare.

The red head only grinned sheepishly and turned back to the twin at the breakfast table. "You'll be coming with us, right Risa?"

She tensed up, noticing that he had called her by her first name. Both Daisuke and Riku seemed to have noticed it at the same time, too. Risa hesitantly looked over at Riku at the sink as Daisuke uncomfortably looked down at his food.

After a second, Riku smiled. "Yeah, Risa. You should come! We'll even drag Satoshi along for you!"

Risa blushed and laughed as Daisuke gave a big sigh of relief. Riku hadn't gotten mad at her. Maybe the process of forgiveness really was starting.

* * *

"Just how in hell did I get dragged into this!" exclaimed a quite grumpy Satoshi as he and Daisuke walked behind the girls. They were at the shopping district and heading toward the tuxedo rental store.

"Becaauuuse," Riku started, as she looked back at him with a mocking grin, "As Daisuke's best man, you are _not_ going to wear one of you dingy suits at the wedding!"

Satoshi grunted. "Don't worry," Daisuke mumbled to him, "She insulted my suits too this morning."

"Risa agrees with me too, right Risa?" Riku said to her twin walking next to her.

Risa smiled and nodded. "Tuxes are so much sexier on guys than suits are anyway!"

Her sister laughed as they reached the store. "I'm with you on that, girl! Hear that Daisuke? Wear a tux and maybe you'll get a little present that night."

Risa and Riku howled in laughter as they tux rental shop, leaving the guys outside.

Daisuke, with a slight blush on his cheeks, turned to Satoshi and shrugged. "Maybe it pays off to wear a tux after all."

Satoshi shook his head and grunted again, opening the shop door. "You perverted, lucky son of a bitch."

But honestly, after hearing Risa say that tuxes were sexy, he didn't mind getting a tux either.

* * *

Satoshi groaned as he looked at himself in the mirror as the tailor took yet another measurement of his tux. "Where are those girls anyway! We've been wearing these things for about an hour and they haven't come to approve it or not!"

"I think they went to get coffee," Daisuke said as he too was being tailored. His eyes wandered over himself in the mirror and grinned. "Hey, I think they were right. We do look sexier in tuxes."

Satoshi rolled his eyes as he shooed the tailor away. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't think of me as sexy."

The other man laughed as his tailor finished taking measurements and left them by themselves. "But honestly, I don't mind waiting for them. They seem to be getting close."

"Yeah, I guess they are."

Daisuke looked over to his friend who sighed and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of the mirror. "So I'm sure you've heard all the talk about you two."

"Who two?" Satoshi grunted.

"Oh stop playing dumb, Satoshi," the red-head said. "You know you have feelings for Risa."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Daisuke smirked. "I know you can't stop thinking about her."

Satoshi growled fiercely. "You don't know anything about what I think."

His friend finally faced him with frown on his face. "Give me a little credit, Satoshi. I know you don't tend to be open about your feelings but I do know a little something about you."

The man with glasses was silent.

"Why don't you accept your feelings for once? Stop walling yourself up and let someone in for a change," Daisuke said quietly.

He was still met with silence.

"If it helps," Daisuke said slyly, "I hear from Riku that Risa feels a little something between you two, too."

Satoshi widened his eyes and whipped his head up to meet a very devious looking Daisuke. Daisuke gave him an 'I-knew-you-cared' look. Satoshi realized his mistake and glared at him.

Suddenly they heard the shop's doors open and in came the twins carrying steaming cups of coffee. They walked up to the guys and Riku grinned from ear to ear.

"You guys! You guys look…great!"

Daisuke gave her a little smirk as she went to kiss him on the cheek. "That means I get a little something on our wedding night right?"

As the couple continued being all sickeningly lovey dovey, and Riku giggled as she whispered, "Maybe even a little something _tonight_," Satoshi groaned in annoyance and turned his attention to the wedding planner.

Risa was looking intently at both tuxedos while sipping her coffee. Her eyebrows were furrowed and a slight frown was upon her lips.

"Not up to par for you, Miss Planner?" Satoshi said sarcastically.

Suddenly she put down her cup and grabbed Satoshi to get up in front of the mirror, much to his dislike. Then she suddenly pulled Daisuke to the mirror too and carefully analyzed them.

"It's all wrong…" Risa mumbled quietly. "Two simple tuxes are too…well, simple."

"Really?" Riku added in confusion, "I thought they look okay."

Risa smiled. "'_Okay_' isn't enough for your wedding." She thought for awhile before leaving the three behind dumbfounded. She came back with two white tuxes, one with a blood red vest and tie, and another with a white vest and tie.

"_White_ tuxes?" Daisuke said uncertainly. "Don't they seem a little…flashy?"

Risa gave him the one with the red vest and tie and gave the other all white outfit to Satoshi. Pushing them toward the dressing stalls against their will, she simply reassured them. "It'll look even better! Trust me!"

After a few minutes, Daisuke came out, clad in the outfit, grinning. He walked toward the mirror while the girls applauded. "I actually quite like this," he said, looking at himself. The vest and tie matched perfectly with his fiery hair and the suit actually fit him like a glove. It was perfect!

"Oh, Risa…He looks so _fine_!" Riku raved as she went over to him. "You are a lifesaver!"

The other twin smiled and looked hopefully at the dressing stalls to await another man to emerge in a white tux. After ten minutes, he still didn't come out.

She sighed as she knocked on the door. "Come out!"

"I am _not_ wearing this!" He retorted. "I stick out like a sore thumb!"

Riku chuckled. "Stop being such a baby, Satoshi!"

Daisuke laughed. "Besides, I bet Risa will think you look great…"

As he and Riku giggled together, Risa blushed and glared at them. Meanwhile all was silent in the stall, as if the blue-haired man was actually considering the notion.

"C'mon, Satoshi," Risa said pleadingly. "It's for Daisuke and Riku!"

Inside the stuffy stall, hearing his first name come out of her lips for the first time that day startled him and suddenly made him weak. A sigh was heard from within and the stall lock clicked open. A frustrated Satoshi stood there, hands buried in his tux pockets and his glasses on the tip of his nose.

Risa was startled. The white fabric against his pale skin, his blue hair tousled and softening the white tux even more. He looked…

"Wow, Satoshi," Daisuke said, with his eyebrow raised. "I never saw you look so…"

"Sophisticated," Riku finished.

Words more like "gorgeous," or "divine," or "perfect" went to Risa's mind but she nodded her head. "Satoshi, you look g-great!"

He looked up at her, saw her staring at him and felt his heart beat rapidly. He turned away with a scowl on his face and was angry at himself for feeling so self-conscious. "Stop staring."

"Wow Risa," Riku said in awe, "both of these tuxes are perfect! You're a miracle worker! Thank you so much!" She grabbed Daisuke's hand and grinned. "We'll be right back. We're going to the tailor to see what the prices are and if Daisuke's needs a bit more fitting."

Before Risa knew it, she was left alone with the extremely attractive looking Satoshi and she felt heat settling on her face. As he grunted in annoyance and walked over to the mirrors to look at himself, try as she might, she simply couldn't stop taking discreet glances at him. Even worse, she was mortified that she couldn't stop thinking that she wanted to just go up to him and –

"How do you work this stupid thing?" he suddenly grumbled, trying to fix the mussed up white tie with no avail.

Risa giggled, grateful that she was woken from her reverie. "Honestly…an important man like you doesn't know how to work a tie?" She walked up to him, playfully rolling her eyes. "Here."

Scowling momentarily at her comment, Satoshi sighed and watched as she expertly undid and redid the tie around his neck, weaving it in and out with ease. His eyes softened as he watched her deft, small hands and furrowed thin eyebrows deep in concentration. Being this close to her again…just made all his troubled, annoyed thoughts disappear. In fact, just thinking about her regardless if she was near to him or not made his troubled, annoyed thoughts disappear. The blue eyed man thought about what Daisuke had said just a few minutes ago, that he should stop walling himself up and let someone in for a change. It was a ridiculous notion. How could he simply start destroying the walls that he had worked so hard to build so many years ago?

But…

…oh how much he wanted to. Especially for her. He would do anything for her if he could just make himself let her into his life. But no…he was too scared. Too scared to get too close and too scared to let her go too far. It was hard to admit, but he was too weak. If he made himself vulnerable to her and got hurt, he would never heal. However, he didn't want these feelings for her to stop. He _wanted_ to be vulnerable to her.

Ugh. It was all just too confusing.

"There you go!" Risa finished happily as she gently tightened the tie around his neck. As she did, she found her eyes moving slowly to his face and eyes. She felt her body go numb as she looked up at him, astonished at how soft and gentle his eyes looked behind his glasses. But she saw a stronger feeling as well. She saw him…pleading? Needing?

She stared back with complete and utter confusion. This is what she had always wished Dark to look at her with. Pleading, needing eyes silently saying that he wouldn't be able to live without her. But coming from Satoshi's eyes…she thought she felt even weaker and open to him than she would have felt if Dark had those eyes. She wanted Satoshi to need her, as messed up as that sounds…

…Because secretly, she needed him too.

Risa gave him a small smile and seemed to startle him out of his thoughts. He turned away quickly and kept his eyes on the mirror. "Thanks…" he said grudgingly, tightening the tie around his neck.

* * *

"Didn't you wanna check out some centerpieces today too, Riku? While Daisuke went to work?" Risa asked as they exited the tux rental store. The boys followed them a few steps behind, carrying the tux rentals and shoes.

Her twin sighed. "That was the plan…"

"What's wrong?"

Riku turned to her as they walked. "Something came up at work. Apparently we got some events mixed up and scheduled them all for today. Now we have to make triple the food and send them out soon. I think they'll really need me at the kitchen now."

"Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe come a make a few salads or something?" Riku laughed heartily and Risa frowned playfully. "Hey! My cooking isn't _that_ bad!"

"Are you sure about that, Risa?" Daisuke called from behind, teasing her. "Last time you tried to make soup, a fire almost started. And that was only using the microwave!"

As Risa continued to frown, Riku chuckled. "Oh Risa, it's alright. I can handle the catering problem. But I really wanted to get the centerpieces picked out. Maybe you can go on and do that?"

"Are you positive?" Risa asked as they reached the boys' cars and stopped walking.

"Yeah of course! I'm sure your taste would be much better than mine anyway. Look at today with the tuxes," Riku replied.

Daisuke frowned. "I would go with you Risa but I have work and I've been calling off way too many 'I-have-a-wedding days.'"

Risa laughed. "It's fine. I can make it by myself."

"Are you sure?" Riku asked apologetically as she got into her fiancé's front seat.

Risa nodded and smile. "Yeah. Leave it to me! I'll pick out the best ones for you."

Her sister gave her a grateful smile as she shut the door. Daisuke smiled at Risa and Satoshi. "Maybe Satoshi would like to accompany you if he's not busy. See you later, you two." The red head entered his red convertible and slammed the door. As the car drove away, Riku waved and winked at Risa.

The girl left standing there rolled her eyes at Riku and Daisuke's plan.

Meanwhile, Satoshi simply rolled his eyes and pushed his slipping glasses up.

…Those two were pathetic.

"You really don't have to stay with me if you don't want to," Risa suddenly said quietly, taking a glance at him.

He looked down at her carefully and grunted. "I've already been dragged out of my home this morning. I might as well accompany you."

She caught his eye and gave him a big, grateful smile.

…And he couldn't help but want to smile a little himself.


	9. Meeting

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By:** pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 9:** Meeting

"Risa, are you insane!"

Risa blinked innocently as she pointed at a simple bouquet of assorted red and white tulips placed in a glass vase…that was almost as tall as she was. "I think it's glamorous! And it goes with the tulip theme!"

Satoshi snorted. Was she crazy? "Too flashy. It's not them," he retorted simply. "Besides, look at the price! _Everything_ here is overpriced!" He shoved the price tag in her face to get his point across.

Risa frowned and glared at him. The nerve of this guy! Telling her how to do her job…

But he was right, she had to admit. This fancy floral store surely knew how to get the most out of customers. And by "most" she meant the "most money."

The girl sighed. "Well what do you suggest, Mr. Know-it-all?" Risa teased, as she looked over some intricate candelabra centerpieces.

Satoshi stood for awhile as people milled around them. He pushed up his glasses in thought as his other arm was crossed in front of him. He sighed, almost in reluctance. "I guess there's only one place to go."

* * *

"The flea market!" Risa exclaimed in horror. They were in a field with crowds of people hurrying around them as vendors tried attracting people to their stands. It was…

…so tacky! How were they ever going to find the perfect centerpieces for Riku and Daisuke _here_?

Satoshi grunted. "Of course, the flea market! You'll be surprised at what you find here. You depend on your almighty, overpriced wedding planner sources too much."

The girl groaned as she looked around in defeat. "Satoshi, we're never going to find anything here!"

Silence.

She turned to him and found that he was already walking away to some direction.

Gah! Why'd he have to be so overly sure of himself and so stubborn! She sighed and grinned, then ran to catch up with him, her heels getting stuck in the grass.

"You jerk!" she yelled as she reached his side, panting. "Where are we going anyway–"

She was met with silence as they continued to walk across the field, passing by customers and vendor tables.

Risa sighed. "Satoshi, I really don't think–"

"We're here."

She stopped walking and realized where they were. All around her she was surrounded by colors, scents, and flowers of all kinds. They were in a makeshift greenhouse, with a clear tarp tent enveloping the entire place. As cheap as it sounds though, it was one of the most beautiful places she had ever stepped foot in. There was an air of...complete tranquility and calmness to the place.

"Oh Satoshi…It's beautiful!" she raved as she looked around the quiet tent. They must've had every single flower in here, no matter what season they usually grew in! She turned to him and grinned. "I bet you love coming in here, don't you?"

Satoshi stuttered in embarrassment. "N-Not at all." Growling at her giggles, he walked toward the corner of the tent and knelt down, reaching for something under a table.

Following him, Risa asked, "What on earth are you doing?"

After a minute, he emerged with some glass, oblong short bowls at hand. Each was a different oblong shape and was wide enough to carry a load of fruits.

"I ask again. What on earth are you doing?"

Satoshi rolled his eyes as he placed the bowls on a nearby empty table. "Patience is a virtue, Miss Harada."

Grabbing a nearby hose that must have been attached to a water source outside of the tent, he filled one of the bowls with water a little bit more than halfway. Risa watched as he put down the hose and left her momentarily. She wondered at what he was doing until he returned with a couple of red and white tulips in his hands. He submerged a couple of them into the water and they lay there prettily, their green stems wrapping themselves against the bowl's shape.

Risa came up next to him and breathed, "Oh Satoshi…It's beautiful!"

"Something's missing," he murmured.

"Hm…" Risa looked around and suddenly spotted a few tiny white flowers above her on a shelf. Her eyes lit up as she thought about the similar flower that she had kept all these years in her journal…the one that she hoped had been left to her by someone that cared about her…maybe even Dark.

She reached for one gently. "How about these?" she asked softly. Satoshi looked at her carefully as she showed him the droopy plant. She looked at the flower softly, remembering when the flower expert, Satoshi, had told her about the meaning behind the flower. "The snowdrop. You said it was for hope didn't you? Don't you think it's suitable for Riku and Daisuke?"

Satoshi was quiet for a while, looking at her gently. "I-I'd rather not use those for Daisuke and Riku's wedding…" He suddenly said, "I-I think it's all wrong anyway."

Risa furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Really? I thought they would be perfect." She smiled up at him with a slight shrug. "Actually, I'm kind of hesitant about using them for Riku and Daisuke's wedding, too now that I think about it."

"Really? Why?"

She turned a bit red. "Well...honestly...it means too much to me. I don't think I could let anyone use it for such an important event." Risa looked up at him timidly. "I...I know that sounds selfish but..."

Satoshi slowly grabbed it from her and looked at it. "I...know what you mean, I think."

"So...you mean the flower means a lot to you, too Satoshi?"

He gave a slight shrug, still looking at the flower. "I guess you can say that..."

She smiled at him softly, noticing his serious tone. Deciding not to push the subject on, Risa looked up and saw some tiny yellow flowers that grew in bunches. "How bout these?"  
"Forsythias," Satoshi mused quietly. "They're nice. They symbolize anticipation."

"Then we have our final touch!" She replied happily. "We'll just sprinkle a few in each bowl so they float on water. That would beautiful, no?"

Satoshi nodded.

Excitedly Risa did as she said, sprinkling s few forsythias here and there and picked up the bowl in satisfaction. "Let's go show the owner what we're planning."

The man next to her nodded, still holding the snowdrop in his hand.

* * *

"I wonder where the vendor is for all these flowers," Risa mused aloud with a very silent Satoshi standing next to her. They were both standing quite patiently at the counter. She glanced at him momentarily. He had been quiet for a long time, just looking down silently at the snowdrop flower. She frowned. Sure he was never the talkative type but…

…had she said something wrong?

Suddenly a beautiful, long haired maiden rushed into the tent from a back entrance and to the counter. She pushed her golden locks away from her face into a ponytail as she looked at them with apologetic hazel eyes.

"I-I'm so sorry," she explained bowing a bit, discreetly wiping her hands on her apron. "I had to help an elderly man carry some flowers to his–"

Suddenly she stopped mid-sentence and caught the blue-haired man's eye. Confused, Risa noticed a tension build up in the air and after awhile, Satoshi looked away gruffly.

"I-It's quite alright," Risa interjected suddenly, still wondering what that was all about, "We were just wondering about purchasing a couple of these glass bowls and tulips and…for…for…"

"Forsythias," Satoshi added quietly.

Risa smiled thankfully. "Yes. Forsythias. My male friend here knows a lot more about flowers than I do," she added with a laugh.

The vendor gave a small smile as she took the bowls. "Wow, that's impressive," she said quietly. "I'll…just ring these up for you and wrap up these flowers."

"Oh well, we'll probably need a bunch more of everything because it's for wedding centerpieces," Risa explained.

The vendor seemed to be surprised. "W-Wedding?"

Risa nodded. "It's my twin sister and her fiancé's wedding soon." The brown haired girl smiled. "I'm the wedding planner."

The hazel-eyed girl widened her eyes in fascination. "Harada Riku and Niwa Daisuke's?"

The other Harada laughed. "Yeah, I guess everyone knows about them here, huh? I'm Harada Risa. Nice to meet you," she said as she outstretched her hand.

The vendor smiled, taking the handshake. "I'm Kimura Misaki. Nice to meet you too, Harada-san."

Risa smiled. However, an uncomfortable silence ensued as she expected her escort to introduce himself as well. She looked at him expectantly and he looked away, somewhat in annoyance, his eyes glaring. Risa glared back at him, shocked at how insensitive he was being.

"W-Well," Misaki started uncomfortably, seeing the interaction between her two customers, "I'll wrap these up for you and you just call me with the exact number of flowers and bowls. Is that alright?"

"That would be great, thanks," the Harada replied with an apologetic smile.

After they exchanged numbers, Misaki gave a short smile as she left for the back with the flowers and bowls. After her disappearance, Risa turned to Satoshi and smacked his arm in irritation. He glared at her in reply.

"Why are you being so rude?" Risa demanded.

"I'm not being rude," Satoshi grunted.

She rolled her eyes. "You didn't even introduce yourself to her! And she's being so nice, too!"

"I just don't feel like it, okay?"

The girl sighed in annoyance, looked away sharply, and let silence envelope the air. What a guy! She couldn't believe that she had even thought about the possibility of having feelings for him! Stupid Riku and Daisuke, getting stupid thoughts stuck in her head. No way would she ever respect a guy who was as rude and self-centered as–

Suddenly she felt someone gently pull her face with tender fingers. She looked up in surprise and met with blue eyes staring down at her, feeling paralyzed. "Satoshi?"

He looked at her with a bit of sadness. Then suddenly, he lifted his other arm and gently placed the snowdrop flower behind her ear. "Look, I'm sorry okay? I just…it's a long story. But I know Kimura-san. We don't exactly get along," he mumbled quietly and in embarrassment.

Risa blinked in surprise. How could he easily and suddenly switch his personality on her like that? One minute he was the more arrogant jerk then the next she found herself looking up at his sincere face and melting under his blue gaze.

But he knew Kimura-san? Suddenly a fire of jealousy sprang up inside of her. She had thought he didn't associate with any other girls except Riku and now herself. After all, back at Riku's restaurant's party, Satoshi had tried to avoid women as if they were the plague. What had gone on between Satoshi and Kimura-san? What was their relationship?

Secretly, Risa hoped with all her heart that it wasn't anything more than a rude, angry customer and a fed up vendor relationship.

Suddenly, a quiet cough was heard from behind the counter. "Here you go, Harada-san," Misaki said quietly as she handed the items in three heavy bags. After giving her the price, Risa paid for them and smiled.

"Well, th-thank you very much, Kimura-san!"

Misaki nodded but stared at her, or more specifically, her ear.

"Oh," Risa said embarrassedly, realizing that Kimura-san was looking at the snowdrop. She reached up to touch the flower behind her ear, "Sorry I forgot about this. How much–"

"It's on the house," Misaki interrupted with a tight smile on her lips. She seemed to give a curt glare to the man standing next to Risa, as Satoshi simply pulled Risa away.

Risa muttered a quiet and nervous, "Th-Thank you," as the blue haired man pulled her away

* * *

"These things are so heavy!" Risa complained as they trudged through the flea market, the crowd of people brushing past them rudely. And she was only carrying one bag! To make it worse, Satoshi was carrying the other two with such ease!

Maybe she should hit the gym more often!

"Here, let me take it," Satoshi offered.

As much as she would like to simply hand the bag over, Risa wouldn't let this guy make her look weak! "N-No way!" she said stubbornly, frowning and panting at the same time. "Please...I-I can handle this."

Her companion simply shrugged as they trudged on toward the parking lot. After what had seemed like walking a mile up a mountain, Risa was extremely grateful when she finally saw the familiar black sports car in front of her. Loading the bags in the back, she climbed into the front seat and rubbed her aching arms after slamming the car door.

"Don't work out much, do you?" Satoshi said with a smirk, as he entered the driver's seat and slammed the door as well.

"Shut up!" She replied, grinning at him.

Suddenly she saw his gaze soften as he continued to look at her. Risa felt self-conscious…but at the same time wanted him to stare at her with such caring eyes. It was…strange. She couldn't explain it.

Satoshi felt his heart melt and beat faster at the same time once she gave him that million dollar smile of hers. How could she always do that to him? With just one simple smile she made him want to know everything about her life and spill everything about his own life to her. Never before had he felt such an urge to just…let everything go and be happy.

Suddenly she began giggling.

"What?" he asked.

"I-I'm sorry. It's not that funny. More like surprising!" she replied, still giggling a bit.

"What is?"

"You!" Risa exclaimed. "You're _smiling_!"

He suddenly felt embarrassed and turned red, quickly whipping his head from her to turn on the engine and drive from the parking space.

"And now you're blushing!"

"Risa," he growled, "you better shut up before I decide to just drop you off on the street!"

Risa laughed heartily, trying to quiet down a bit.

Unknown to her, Satoshi still had a tint of a smile on his lips.

* * *

"Thank god! Finally we're here!" Risa exclaimed as she set the bag from the flea market on the living room floor. Her companion followed behind her as he too set the other two bags on the floor. Now in Riku and Daisuke's house, Risa looked around momentarily into the kitchen and sitting room while calling out, "Anybody home?"

She shrugged and turned to Satoshi who was a few feet away from her. "I guess they're still not back yet. Hope everything at the catering company turned out all right."

"Yeah."

Suddenly Risa laughed in embarrassment. "Jeez, where are my manners? Would you like a drink or something before you leave?"

He shook his head. "No, no…I'm fine," he said looking at the floor quietly. Why didn't he want to leave? The last thing he wanted to do was go to work. In fact, doing anything without Risa next to his side was the last thing he wanted to do.

Ugh. He was being so pathetic…He never thought he would ever feel this way.

After a moment, he reluctantly turned towards the door, "Well I'll see you–"

A slim, small hand suddenly grabbed his arm. "Wait, Satoshi…"

Surprised, he looked at her slowly, trying to push his beating heart down from his throat.

It was silent for a moment, and Risa was surprised at her own actions. She wasn't sure why she had done that, had stopped him from leaving. The thought of him leaving her side suddenly saddened her and she had just acted without thinking.

Besides…she wanted to look at his eyes…just like last night.

"Satoshi…"

_Shit Risa, don't say my name like that_, he thought. Hearing her say his name so softly and seriously like that made him want to just…

Ugh. Since when did he think these perverted thoughts!

She smiled up at him, making him feel so weak in the knees. "Today was…fun. Thank you."

"I-I was forced into it," he said stubbornly, even though he knew it was entirely untrue. _What a lie! I wanted to come! I wanted to be with you!_

Risa laughed. "Well, whether or not you _wanted_ to come with me…I'm glad you did." She smiled to herself. "It's been awhile since…I've felt that everything's been so right. From starting to be closer to Riku and Daisuke and then _us_…"

There she goes again…being so carelessly open to him. But at her last comment, Satoshi heart thudded in his ears. "Us?" Was there even a _them_?

She blushed in embarrassment. "W-Well, you know…just getting closer to you and everything! I wouldn't have found Riku's perfect centerpieces without you," she said quietly. She took a deep breath, thinking about last night at Riku's restaurant's party and wanting to talk about it. How right everything had felt. How amazing he had looked. The pleading, lonely look in his gorgeous eyes…How they had almost kissed in the moonlight…

"And last night…in the garden at the restaurant…" she started. But seeing those eyes looking down at her quizzically made her lose her nerve. She looked down quickly, staring at her high heeled shoes. "N-Never mind."

Slowly, a finger lifted her chin to make her look up at his blue orbs again. It was the second time that day that he had so gently touched her face and it again surprised her that he would be that gentle.

"Last night?" he said huskily, staring down at her in quiet anticipation.

There they were again. Only a few inches apart, close enough for Risa to smell a mixture of a hint of men's cologne and some type of flower scent. She gazed up at him weakly, getting lost in his captivating eyes once again. She saw the pleading in his eyes, the want, the need. It was still a strange feeling to have someone feel this way about her, to need her so much, when she had always been the one that needed help.

But she understood his feelings…she had felt this way about Dark for such a long time.

Suddenly she realized something. Dark…he hadn't been plaguing her mind like usual for a very long time. She didn't picture his long dark hair or his deep eyes. Instead, for the longest time, all she could picture was a blue-haired man with glasses covering his blue eyes. But it was all very confusing. She had never even thought about the idea that she wouldn't be thinking about Dark, much less think about another man.

Satoshi watched as her eyes deepened in confusion, her furrowed eyebrows accentuating her bewildered emotions. He watched as she fought with herself, trying to figure out a newfound feeling towards him while searching for that familiar feeling of lost love with Dark. Dark…he was on her mind again. Dark was always on her mind. Last night at Riku's restaurant garden she was thinking about him. He had pulled away then, feeling denied.

But…she had stopped him. She had made him face her again.

He suddenly felt very angry at her. Couldn't she make up her mind? Couldn't she see how much it killed him to know she was still thinking about Dark? Couldn't she see that he was willing to put his whole life and soul out there for her if she'd only promise not to hurt him or be so tied up with that son of a bitch?

His anger got the better of him when he suddenly and gently grabbed her, cupping her face with both of his hands and bringing her a tad bit closer to him. Risa was startled, and found herself so close to him that she could feel the warmth from his body.

"Risa," he said darkly, his voice insistent and desperate. "Listen to me…please. Dark is gone but I-"

He saw her eyes widen with hurt and immediately regretted his words. But when she tried to turn away from him, he realized that he needed to let her know. Needed to finally tell her.

He gently pulled her face back up and bravely leaned his forehead against hers, swallowing hard. It made him dizzy to be so close to her, that he almost forgot his purpose.

"And I only tell you that, Risa, because I…" He swallowed again, trying to get rid of that dry feeling in his throat. "…I…"

His eyes bore into hers as he willed himself to tell her. To finally tell her, after keeping it so locked up inside of him for so many endless nights, would surely relieve him of the feeling of the world sitting on his shoulders, right? Surely she might feel the same after all the emotions that had passed between them? Surely he might be able to finally wrap her in his arms and kiss her until they both couldn't breathe?

But that word. _Might_. It was a scary word that left so many other possibilities open. Although it included happiness, love, and completeness as possibilities…

…It also included rejection and loneliness as well.

And although he was lonely now, being rejected by Risa would far exceed that feeling.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell her. Especially if that bastard Dark was still on her mind.

Risa saw his struggle, his doubt. She wanted him to tell her, open up to her. "It's okay, Satoshi," she whispered, her face still being cradled by his rough, calloused hands. She wrapped hers around his wrists and gently asked him with her eyes to go on. "Tell me. I want you to…"

He swallowed yet again, feeling the warmth of her hands. Oh how he wanted to, too.

Finally, he sighed and broke away from her, suddenly feeling cold. She, too, sighed in disappointment. An uncomfortable silence settled between them.

"Look, Risa," Satoshi finally said, looking at her seriously and almost angrily both at himself and her. "Dark is gone."

She glared at him. "Stop it, Satoshi."

He continued relentlessly. "You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it."

"Please…stop it."

"And he isn't coming back."

"Stop it!" she exploded, tears coming to her eyes. How could he say these things to her? He knew how confused her feelings were! He knew that for the past how many years the only thing that had been on her mind was Dark, and the hope that he was somewhere, waiting for her, loving her! For the longest time, just that thought alone had kept her going! It was everything that the simple snowdrop in her journal stood for! Surely he understood that! "H-How could you be telling me this! Why are you telling me this!" she shouted angrily as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes.

Satoshi felt a sharp pain in his stomach as he watched her cry at the words he had said. _His_ words. _He_ had made her cry.

Suddenly he enveloped her in his arms, feeling relaxed after bringing her close to him once again. She tried pushing him away, hiding her face, and even whipping her arms at him, but he only brought her closer. Finally, she stopped struggling and simply cried into his shirt as she held on to him weakly.

"I-I'm sorry," Satoshi said, apologizing for one of the very few times in his life. He cradled her, feeling so relaxed with her in his arms, and brushed his cheek across the top of her head, her honey brown hair tickling his nose. "It's just that…how could you be thinking of him? When _I'm_ right here…trying to…to…"

Risa's tears started to subside as they stood there in the main room of Daisuke and Riku's house. Only Risa's soft sniffles were heard as Satoshi simply continued to hold her, never wanting to let go.

The twin, her wet face buried against his chest and her hands grasping to the front of his shirt, took in his words carefully. Yes, she knew that everything he had said was true. No matter how angry she got, no matter how much it hurt, everything was true. It had just needed someone to simply say it to her to make her realize that it was. And Satoshi…he was trying to…love her. Open up to her. And here she was pining after some guy that basically disappeared from the face of the earth while developing feelings for Satoshi at the same time. It wasn't fair. She realized his feelings for her. And yet…

…she simply couldn't bring herself to let Dark go. Even though Satoshi was right. _He was here_. _Dark was not._ It was simple common sense.

Furthermore, Satoshi loved her. Needed her. Wanted her. Dark never even gave her the light of day once he was done playing with her. Once he had gotten his fill of her.

After all, the only person Dark had ever loved was Risa's grandmother. And the only reason why he had even bothered with Risa in the first place was because she had reminded him of her grandmother. He never had loved Risa. Or even liked her for that matter. Yet why did she still have feelings for him back then amidst all that? And why was she still so hesitant about Satoshi when clearly he had feelings for her?

Suddenly Satoshi pulled away, as if sensing her thoughts. He turned to her and gave her a sad smile. It was a smile completely opposite than what she had seen in the car today when they had been about to drive home. That one had been so pleasantly happy…while this one…was so empty.

"Goodbye Risa."

Suddenly she was alone with her thoughts as Satoshi shut the front door behind him. Everything was coming at her way too fast. Her feelings were overwhelming her. She was confused, infatuated, angry, and happy all at the same time…and she didn't know what to do.

All she knew was that she wanted to be with Satoshi all the time…and she didn't know why.


	10. Talking

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By:** pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I do not own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 10:** Talking

Inside the crowded kitchen of the catering business, _Delicious Delicacies_, the head chef and owner shuffled among the other chefs, taking a careful look at all the dishes that they were preparing. She stopped here and there, taking a taste of some of the entrees, praising her employees, and giving them advice as she went along.

"This tastes great! Just add a pinch of rosemary, okay?"

"Hmm, the texture doesn't seem to be right. Try adding more tomato to the sauce."

"Great job, people! Keep it up!"

She sighed in satisfaction as she finished her final round and headed back to her office where a load of paperwork and scheduling awaited her. Feeling winded, she opened the door to her office and found a surprise waiting for her.

"Risa?"

Her twin sat at her desk, looking up at her sister almost wistfully. Risa immediately smiled sheepishly and got out of the head chef's chair.

Riku took off her chef's hat and grinned. "Hey, I thought we were meeting at five to discuss table arrangements?" She sighed as she shuffled around the office, grabbing a couple of files. "I'm sorry, I can't really talk right now. Our schedules are booked and so many more reservations are coming in. Plus the restaurant's been swamped and we need to hire more chefs, and…"

The wedding planner had zoned out midway through Riku's story as her eye caught a certain something that was situated on Riku's desk. It was a picture of Riku, Daisuke, and Satoshi posing down at the beach.

Her brown eyes softened and looked at the picture carefully. While Daisuke and Riku openly grinned at the camera, Satoshi looked away from the camera and instead gazed off at the sea even though Daisuke had a brotherly arm around the blue eyed man's shoulder. Satoshi's hair blew in the sea breeze, slightly covering his hardened gaze.

Looking at his expression, Risa felt her heart wrench. There was something in his stare that implied more loneliness than coldness. And knowing that he was so forlorn, she couldn't take but want to make him smile…just like he had done a few days ago when they had gone to buy the wedding centerpieces. Seeing him smile and knowing he was happy had just made her day.

Satoshi… they hadn't seen each other, much less talk to each other, since that day. She was still hurt from what had happened. Her eyes darkening, she remembered his words about Dark and felt her blood boil. He had no right to say what he had said! How dare he? He knew about her feelings for Dark! Did he just _want_ to rip her heart out like that?

Tears sprang to her eyes and she quickly tried to hide them.

What he had said…had hurt her so much…

But she knew what had hurt her more was that it was true. Dark was gone. And even if he wasn't, he wouldn't care about her. So why? Why did she keep holding on to him when there was a perfectly great chief of the police who was willing to…to…

What was Satoshi willing to do? Obviously he wanted to get to know her in a deeper level, wanted to be someone who was there for her.

Although she and Satoshi were getting closer and she had to admit that she felt something different towards him, she just couldn't…and she didn't know why.

* * *

"Are you a fool? I don't care if the case is unsettled! I need the report _now_!"

"Y-Yes, Hiwatari-san!"

As the innocent messenger scurried out of the chief of police's office, Satoshi grunted as he sank back into his chair and tried to delve back into his paperwork, his blood still boiling. Such a pile and accumulated that he probably would not be able to finish even if he worked on them for a month. It was that stupid wedding…and that stupid wedding planner. They took up all his precious time.

Damn…she's a fool. She thinks she can waltz back into their lives, patch things up with Daisuke and Riku, and yet not do a thing about what had started that mess between them in the first place? How can she still love that egotistical bastard, even when it was clear that Dark would be gone forever?

…But even more…how can she act as if he had a chance with her and get his hopes up? Looking into his eyes...spending time with him…calling him by his first name. How could she?

His eyes flashed darkly. "Damn you, Risa…" he muttered, gritting his teeth. "Get your damn head out of the past."

* * *

Risa's thoughts abruptly stopped as she realized that her twin was no longer chatting away and was instead looking at her quietly. Surprised, Risa realized that she had grabbed the picture frame from Riku's desk and was touching where Satoshi's figure was printed.

"I-I'm sorry," Risa apologized and quickly put the picture frame back. "It's just that…I…Satoshi…"

As her voice faded and her gaze turned away, Riku felt a deep compassion for her sister. For past few days, she and Daisuke had realized that something bad had happened between the Risa and Satoshi, something that had driven a wedge between their growing relationship. She sighed, wanting desperately to help them. After all, Riku knew that Risa and Satoshi needed each other in many ways. Only they can help each other's climb out of their pasts.

RIku looked at the picture that Risa had been looking at and a small smile came upon her lips. "You know," she said as she sat at her desk, setting the pile of files aside. "Satoshi…really makes you want to pull your hair out doesn't he?"

Risa nodded, looking at the picture. "Yeah. He's insanely moody, mean, antisocial, aggressive-"

"Don't forget insulting."

"Yes, and insulting…" the wedding planner sighed. "But…"

"There's something about him, right? Like you can tell that he's this passionate guy with a fire burning within him. It's just…his past with his father and everything about his life seemed to lead him to his lonely lifestyle," Riku finished quietly.

"His father?" Risa inquired. She had never even realized that Satoshi and his family hadn't gotten along. She had never heard too much about his family, except for the fact that his father had been a much respected leader in the police force before Satoshi. And Satoshi never seemed to think about them too often, or at least want to think about them.

"Well, I don't know any specifics. All I know is that Satoshi went through some rough times especially with his father. And it has affected him a lot." Riku let out a soft smile as her twin's eyes softened at the knowledge. "I don't know if you realize this, but having you here has affected him just as much…except for the better."

Risa looked down, shadowing her eyes behind her hair. "Oh, I don't know Riku…I don't know how I'm feeling. I want to get to know him more, I want to be with him more. And I don't know why but…it scares me."

Her sister got up from the desk and hugged her sister reassuringly. It was the first time they had hugged for years. It was the first time Riku had ever felt that familiar sisterly love arise again. And she couldn't help but realize how much she missed being there for Risa. "I know. It's unfamiliar. It's new. And much more…it presents a lot more opportunities for you to get hurt…again."

Risa was silent as she simply stood there in Riku's embrace.

"But if you give it a chance, maybe it will make up for all the hurt you've had in the past. Maybe you can finally be happy and loved, like you should be. But in order for that to happen…" Riku rubbed her sister's back as she sighed. "…you have to learn to let Satoshi in…and let Dark out."

A tear started to trickle down Risa's porcelain face as she shuddered. Yes, Riku was right. There was a chance of all of that. But did want to take it? Did she want to forget about Dark, despite all the pain he has caused her? Did getting to know Satoshi matter to her more?

Yes…maybe…

* * *

Satoshi heard the office door open and he sighed in pure annoyance, not even bothering to look up at the intruder. "This better be good because I have a lot of work to do and if you piss me off today you can guarantee that you won't have your job tomorrow," he said snarling as he hunched over a case folder.

"Jeez, Satoshi. No wonder everyone warned me not to come in here."

The chief looked up and immediately sighed again in annoyance as he caught sight of a flash of red hair. "What the hell do you want, Niwa? I'm busy here and you should be at work, too. Don't you have a wedding to pay for?"

"I decided to skip," Daisuke said with a shrug. "And what's up with the last name, Satoshi?"

Daisuke only received a curt grunt. He stood there silently for a minute as he observed his best friend's actions, not in the least bit phased by his rudeness. After all, years knowing Satoshi kind of made you immune to it.

The red head shook his head at Satoshi's hunched, defeated form, scribbling hurriedly on some papers. He's never seen him this upset. Sure Satoshi has always been engrossed in his work more so than others, and sure Satoshi has had his share of scaring his fellow policemen…but today there was something about his aura that just seemed…off.

"Anyway, I decided you're skipping, too," Daisuke suddenly said.

Satoshi looked up momentarily to give Daisuke a dark glare. "I know you're not really on the bright side, but as you can see, I'm pretty busy. And furthermore, it's because of you and your damn wedding that I'm so backed up with stuff!"

Daisuke frowned. "I think the real question is, are you mad at the wedding?...or the wedding _planner_?"

Out of the blue, Satoshi slammed his fist on his desk as he stood up. It made a deafening thump and was almost as scary as Satoshi's expression of pure anger.

"Don't play your bullshit games with me, Daisuke!" Satoshi yelled, his voice dark and laced with resent. "I'm mad at _you_! _You _brought Risa here and now look at me!"

It was silent a bit as the two men looked at each other, Satoshi with his face contorted into a scowl and Daisuke with his even expression. Suddenly the red head walked up to the desk, his scarlet eyes not backing down to Satoshi's cold gaze. He stopped walking when he was directly in front of Satoshi's desk and crossed his arms defiantly.

"If I remember clearly, Satoshi," Daisuke finally said, "it wasn't me who_ suggested_ bringing her back."

Satoshi's glare almost faltered as he realized Daisuke was right. "That was different. I only wanted to help your future wife and her sister."

"That's a lame excuse," the red head said with a frown. "She's always had an effect on you since we were younger. I know you've always tried to hide it, but I know you better than you think. So again…the real question is, are you mad at me?...or at the fact that you brought this upon yourself?"

Satoshi glared at his best friend's even gaze. Damn. He was right. He wasn't mad at Daisuke. He wasn't even mad at Risa, although her actions toward him did annoy him. He was mad at himself…for wanting Risa here. For giving Daisuke the idea to bring her here in the first place.

For feeling so strongly about her that he couldn't stop thinking about her even when she left town for so long.

His feelings never controlled him. It had always been the other way around. But for some reason, his feelings for Harada Risa, whatever they had been, had never subsided. Now that he decided not to let go of those feelings, they had developed into something much more than he can handle…especially since Risa didn't seem to want to let go of Dark.

Satoshi finally tore away from Daisuke's knowing gaze and looked down in defeat. "Just…Just leave me alone, Daisuke."

"No, Satoshi, you're not gonna go and sulk by yourself. You're coming with me whether you have work to do or not."

"But–"

"Hey, no excuses! You're my best man aren't you? And since you're so forcibly against having a bachelor party, I'm making this a mandatory part of your job. Now let's go," Daisuke finished triumphantly as he stalked over to the door. He looked at the reluctant Satoshi and urged him to follow.

"I didn't want this job! And you didn't even _want_ a bachelor party!" Satoshi insisted.

Daisuke grinned, annoying Satoshi even more. "Not the point."

Satoshi sighed as he gathered his paperwork into a pile and grabbed his wallet and keys.

Damn Daisuke.

* * *

The door jingled as Daisuke opened it. Inside was a mostly empty, dimly lit bar with a few scattered pool tables around the room. Walking up to the counter where the bartender, a middle-aged woman, was wiping it down, Satoshi followed Daisuke's footsteps.

"I haven't been here since…"

Daisuke grinned. "Since you brought me here that day?"

Satoshi nodded, taking a seat on the stool next to his friend's.

"I still can't believe you brought me here back then, Satoshi. We were two seventeen year olds coming into a bar and ordering drinks. I guess it's no surprise that we got in trouble with the law, huh Mr. Chief of police?"

The blue haired man shrugged and ordered a drink as Daisuke did the same.

"I don't even remember what happened that day…" Daisuke rambled off as he stared off into space. "It was all…a blur."

Satoshi simply sat there in silence. The day when Satoshi had brought Daisuke to the bar had been the day when Riku had caught Risa on top on Daisuke. After a yelling fit between Riku and Daisuke, the red head had showed up at Satoshi's doorstep, begging him to talk to the irate Riku. After obliging, Satoshi went to the Harada residence only to find that Riku refused to talk to anyone at all. Satoshi decided to bring the devastated Daisuke to this small downtown bar to try to calm him down.

"I…I'm glad you tried to cheer me up," Daisuke said after taking a gulp of his glass. He gave a short grin. "It's kind of silly to think about it now eh? Now that's we're in our twenties, it doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore."

Satoshi gave a curt grunt. "Tell that to the Harada twins." Women always made things a bigger deal than they were.

The redhead nodded and after a moment looked at Satoshi with the corner of his eye as he took another drink. "Well, we're not here for me today. What's going on with you?"

Satoshi sighed, suddenly downing his glass of alcohol with one swift gulp. Damn. He should've known Daisuke had brought him here so they could talk. He ignored Daisuke's question as he asked for another drink.

His friend simply chuckled under his breath. Same old Satoshi. He was never willing to talk about serious stuff like this. Daisuke knew Satoshi would rather just drink in silence than talk about his feelings. That's just how he's always been. Silence enveloped them and Daisuke sighed and shrugged.

"Well, just want to let you know one thing," he said. "Risa will come around. Just give her time. Just keep showing her how much you care and don't bottle yourself up, especially after this fight between you two. After all, she just doesn't want to get hurt again."

After that one word of advice, the two men continued to drink in silence with nothing but the sound of the nearby television to interrupt them.

Satoshi mulled Daisuke's words in his head and almost scoffed. Keep showing her he cares? When she loved another man? That would be nearly impossible. Just the thought of her thinking about Dark got his blood boiling. And why would she be scared about getting hurt? There's a more likely chance that she would hurt him than the other way around anyway.

Thinking those thoughts, he gulped down his glass and ordered yet another.


	11. Strolling

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By:** pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I do not own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 11:** Strolling

In the living room of the Harada residence, Harada Risa looked gloomily at all the table seating papers in front of her as she sat on the couch, the fireplace warming her. It was dark out already and Riku was still at work. Although they were able to work on some of the seating arrangements, Riku had left most of it up to Risa. Risa didn't mind much though. She knew Riku was busy. Besides, she felt bad that Riku had to do overtime now because she had showed up at her office earlier without warning.

But that talk with her sister had helped. A lot.

She tucked a lock of brown hair behind her ear as she dazed off into the air, not really working even though she knew she should be. "I should let Satoshi in…and Dark out, eh?"

Yes, she supposed Riku was right. It was about time to let go of Dark. After all, that had been ages ago and she has been holding on to her past for so long. But how can she just let go of all of that? It wasn't that easy.

Besides, who's to say that it won't happen all over again? All that hurt. All that rejection. That feeling of being used. She didn't want to go through that again. And although she doubted Satoshi would ever do that to her, she was still scared…even at the possibility.

Suddenly the image of his deep blue eyes flashed in her mind. They were so hurt-filled, so lonely, so vulnerable. They gazed at her with such need, such want, such passion. They revealed a Satoshi who simply wanted to be loved after all these years. And suddenly Risa realized something.

She wanted the same thing. To be loved. To love.

It is been the empty void that she's been trying to fill all these years. She's just been trying to find it in the wrong place: Dark.

She softly smiled to herself as she folded her legs toward her chest and hugged them. It was probably going to hard and it was going to make her vulnerable once again but…Satoshi was worth it.

"I'm going to give it a shot…"

* * *

Satoshi cursed under his breath as he pulled his damn redhead friend up the front steps of the Niwa/Harada residence. He should've known that things would turn out this way. Count on Daisuke to take a friend out drinking only to get drunk himself.

He heard Daisuke groggily mutter as he finally was able to hoist him up the last step by throwing Daisuke's limp arm around his him and lifting him up slowly. "I-I can walk, Satoshi," Daisuke slurred, trying to seem sober. "Really, I can. Go on home."

Satoshi rolled his eyes. "You barely know who you are," he retorted. "This is exactly what happened the last time we went to that bar. I'm never going drinking with a lightweight like you again."

Hearing Daisuke mutter a pathetic "Sorry," Satoshi dug into his pocket and took out the key to the house with an irritated sigh.

They wobbled into the house as Satoshi closed the front door behind him. "Riku! Come get your drunk husband!" Satoshi yelled in annoyance, wanting to drop the poor Daisuke on the floor.

Jeez. The lengths he goes to for a friend.

"Riku's working late today," he heard a familiar voice say quietly.

Satoshi whipped his head in the direction of the voice and mentally kicked himself. Damn. He was hoping Risa would be out late somewhere doing something for the wedding. He hadn't prepared himself to face her yet.

The two stood there awkwardly for awhile as Daisuke was slumped over, his arm around Satoshi's neck. Satoshi turned away after catching her curious brown eyes for a moment. "Damn," he said sighing, as he edged Daisuke toward the steps leading to the bedrooms upstairs without another word. Maybe he could get Daisuke to his room and leave before Risa could even say anything to him.

Before Satoshi knew it, Risa had quietly grabbed Daisuke's other arm and slung it around her shoulders. Then the two carefully hoisted him up the stairs, while Daisuke simply murmured under his breath.

"What happened?" Risa asked quietly as they slowly trudged up the steps.

Before Satoshi could even answer, Daisuke started rambling away. "I wanted to cheer him up," he said, "he wasn't feeling too good ever since he fought with this girl Risa." He gave Risa a cheeky grin, not even knowing it was his fiancé's sister. "He doesn't like to talk much so we just drank. I guess I went a little overboard, huh? Gah. If only I could get it through his thick skull that he and Risa should just–"

Satoshi jabbed him in the side and he moaned in pain. "I think that's enough now, Daisuke," he grunted.

Risa only let out a small smile that Satoshi saw through the corner of his eye. He cursed under his breath yet again.

Damn you, Daisuke...

* * *

Satoshi quickly hurried down the steps after he and Risa had brought Daisuke to his room and made sure he was okay. He heard swift footsteps following him but he didn't turn around.

He wanted to get the hell out of there.

"Wait, Satoshi…" Risa said, trying to match his pace. He didn't wait. He didn't turn. He didn't even acknowledge her existence.

They finally reached the end of the steps and Satoshi was striding across the room towards the front door. She looked at his retreating back helplessly. "Please…Satoshi…"

His hand was on the handle. He willed himself to turn it. Then he'd be free. Then he wouldn't have to look at her. But…her voice sounded so…sad and pleading. He stayed still a moment, his hand shaking, wanting to turn the knob. Suddenly he sighed and his hand fell from the doorknob. "What?" he snapped, not bothering to turn to look at her.

She suddenly froze and her throat became dry. She didn't know what to say now.

Satoshi sighed in irritation once again. "Look, if you don't have anything to say–"

"Can you come to the beach with me?" she said suddenly. She saw him slowly turn his head with his eyebrow raised. And she gulped. "You know…the beach where Riku and Daisuke are getting married."

He stared at her evenly for a few minutes and she swore he was going to say no. As she opened her mouth to take back her invitation he suddenly spoke.

"It's pretty far from here."

She nodded. "I know."

"It's eleven-thirty at night."

"Which is alright because you'll be with me."

"I don't have a car. I took a cab with Daisuke."

"We'll take Riku's. When I visited her at work, she let me drive it back because she was going to get a ride home."

Their eyes still locked, he asked the final question after a long pause. "Why?"

Risa looked down momentarily at her feet. Because I want to apologize. Because I want to give us a chance. Because I think you'll make me happy. "Because I need to check something out there. You know…for the wedding."

After a moment he gave a reluctant nod.

* * *

"We're here."

Risa and Satoshi slammed the car doors as they got out and looked towards the sea. It was a windy, cold night and no one else was seen on the beach. The stars were out and could be clearly seen in the distance, twinkling as though they were winking down at them.

The sight caught Risa's breath. She had forgotten how beautiful her hometown had been at night. "It's pretty."

Satoshi didn't say anything, she noticed. In fact he hadn't said a word since they left the house. She was starting to wonder why he came with her at all.

"Sh-Shall we walk?" she asked.

Not receiving an answer – not that she was expecting one anyway – she took off her flip flops and walked into the cold sand. Surprisingly, he followed her as she walked ahead.

They walked for a long time along the water while keeping a considerable distance between them. Satoshi quietly bore his eyes into her back and couldn't help how mesmerizing she looked in the moonlight despite her attire of a simple white shirt and jeans. She just seemed to glow and her hair gracefully flew at the wind's will.

He tore his gaze away as he mentally scolded himself. He was supposed to be mad at her. He was supposed to be bitter that she basically rejected his feelings without even considering giving him a chance. He wasn't even sure why he had agreed on coming on this stupid venture in the first place. After all, she obviously wasn't here to check out the beach for Riku and Daisuke's wedding. He had known that from the very start.

He sighed. Since when had he become so weak against a woman's will?

Listening to nothing but the waves rolling in and out, they walked a little more in silence. Suddenly, he stopped walking as he saw Risa stop in her tracks. She slowly turned to face him, trying to tuck her flowing hair behind her ear. Satoshi suddenly felt weak in the knees at the sight of her passive expression.

She looked down at the sand guiltily. "Satoshi…I know I hurt you…"

Satoshi stubbornly looked away, trying to save the least bit of pride left in him. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"Okay then. Well I'm sorry about our…fight a few days ago."

"It was nothing. It was stupid."

She nodded as she slowly walked up to him. "It was."

"But it's not like it affected me. It was nothing to me."

She took another step towards him, her hair blowing in the wind. "Mhm. I know."

"It wasn't even a fight. I don't know what that was. It was just…"

"Nothing?" Risa offered as she stood directly in front of him.

Satoshi looked away from her face and tried to focus on anything else but her. He tried to forget the warmth radiating from her, the way her long hair slightly grazed his exposed arm, and the way he felt so vulnerable under her gaze.

Suddenly, looking at her in front of him he felt defeated. Satoshi sighed, his body tensing and feeling tired from the long night and from drinking with Daisuke.

He remembered how hurt she looked and how tears had flowed down her porcelain face because of his words that day. Even though he had been angry at her for days, seeing her cry made him channel all his anger at himself instead. "I-I'm sorry…" he said finally, trying to swallow through his dry throat.

Risa slowly shook her head and gave him a slight smile. "You were right. About everything. About Dark. About me. Sometimes you have to hear what you don't want to believe for reality to sink in. And you're right. He's gone. And I should move on."

Satoshi suddenly looked up. Was she saying what he thought she was saying?

Her smile widened as she saw his hopeful expression. Risa took his hand and felt her heart flutter and the touch of his warm skin. "Can we forget about that day, Satoshi?" She gave an embarrassed smile. "Because I'd…I'd really like to get to know you better."

In his mind, he was confused. But she was willing to forget about Dark. And that's all he wanted. His spirits rose and suddenly he felt so sickeningly ecstatic. But he only let out a simple nod in all his shock.

She laughed at him and he scowled in embarrassment, turning his whole body away from her angelic figure as he stuck his hands into his pockets. "I…I told you. I don't care. That whole 'fight' was–"

Suddenly he stopped mid-sentence as he felt her lips against his. They were soft and sent tingles up his entire body. Surprised, he stood there is complete shock, hearing nothing but the waves lap against the beach. But as she slowly deepened it, he closed his eyes, taking his hands out of his pockets and holding her sides close to his body. God how he just wanted…her. Needed her. And God…this feeling…what was it? This feeling as if everything was right with the world. As if nothing could ever go wrong now. This feeling that somehow, little by little, the void that had taken its place in his soul would eventually be filled.

She was almost taken aback as he feverishly kissed her as if he truly and deeply needed her. But she was getting such pleasurable chills that she didn't mind it at all. It felt good. It felt right. And besides, she needed him just as much. She couldn't help but smile against his soft lips.

As his hands began to roam along her back and then downwards, she suddenly and reluctantly pulled back with a teasing, but put a happy smile on her face. They were both panting slightly, but Satoshi looked at her pleadingly.

"Risa…" he growled, almost whining.

She took a few steps back, giving him a joking smile as the moonlight reflected off of her body, making her look angelic. "I know, I know. It was all _nothing_."

Satoshi sighed as he ran a restless hand through his blue hair, already missing her warmth. He closed his eyes and gave a slight, frustrated smile.

Okay. He deserved that.

* * *

Risa quietly stepped inside the dark house, trying not to wake anyone. It was well past midnight and Riku was sure to be home and sleeping. As for Daisuke, he was sure to knocked out after going out drinking with Satoshi tonight.

As the woman crept along the marble floors, her eyes were suddenly blinded as someone turned on the lights and caught her. She squinted upwards and spotted a curious Riku clad in her silk pajamas standing at the top of the stairs near one of the light switches.

"And where were you, missy?" she asked slyly.

Risa smiled. "What ever do you mean sister?"

"I come home to find my husband dead asleep because he's drunk and a note saying you went out with Satoshi," Riku said with a smirk. She crossed her arms. "Details!"

Grinning and turning red at the same time, Risa nodded obligingly. She suddenly gave a small but passion-filled smile. "By the way, you were right. That beach really is special…"


	12. Confessing

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By: **pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 12:** Confessing

"So these arrangements are alright with you?" the currently business-like wedding planner asked as she flipped through the plans she had for the reception area. It was breakfast time and Risa had decided that before Riku and Daisuke headed out to work, she would finalize everything that they had so far.

In her plans, several tables were scattered orderly around the large space that was reserved for the dance floor and band. For the actual wedding, all the seating was planned out as well. Everything from the flower decorations to the color combinations were displayed and described in full detail for both the wedding ceremony and reception. Needless to say, Riku was very impressed.

"Wow, Risa," her twin awed as she picked up the page of the menu. It was complete with descriptions and pictures of the entrees and desserts that _Delicious Delicacies_ was planning on making for that special day. "You've really outdone yourself."

Behind Riku, Daisuke, who was chewing on some toast while hurrying to put on his tie, nodded in agreement, impressed at the organization and legitimacy of everything. "Definitely."

Risa beamed as she gathered everything from the breakfast table into a pile that she scooted into her briefcase. She was proud of herself. There was only three days left before the wedding and almost everything was going according to plan, something that was rare when planning a glamorous wedding such as this.

In fact, it's been awhile since everything seemed to be going so well in her life. From her work, to her family life, to her love life…everything seemed to only be getting better.

She and Satoshi had been unofficially together for a few days now, even though it really felt like it had been months. After all, they've been only getting closer and closer. She never remembered feeling so safe, so secure, so protected, and so happy before. With him, she felt as if he dedicated his entire being to her, even though he might not outwardly express it. It was something about the way he protectively wrapped his arm around her waist when they were in public, or how she noticed that his eyes always seemed to brighten whenever they would have a conversation or when she would laugh at him or when they'd tease each other.

When she thought about him like this, Risa just couldn't help but want to just kiss him sometimes.

And it always made her giggle that whenever she did suddenly decide to kiss him out of nowhere, he'd get all surprised.

"So what's left to do?" Daisuke asked, breaking Risa out of her reverie.

"Just the centerpieces," Risa explained. "The lady who we bought them from, Kimura Misaki, hasn't called me yet. I'm getting kind of worried since we only have three days left…"

Daisuke shrugged. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Kimura-san will have them. If not, we'll call her soon."

"Besides," Riku suddenly said slowly. She sounded as if something very significant about the wedding had been forgotten, as if something had gone terribly wrong. "We have something else to worry about…"

Risa and Daisuke looked at each other and then at Riku quizzically. "What?" Risa asked, racking her brain for something else that they could have forgotten. She had been sure she had covered all the bases…

Riku gave a sheepish grin. "My dress."

A silence fell upon the group of three.

"W-What!" Risa exclaimed, suddenly in a frenzy. "You don't have a dress and you didn't tell me?"

"It just slipped out of my mind!" Riku tried to explain, becoming just as frazzled as her twin. "With everything happening, I just…forgot!"

Daisuke was laughing his head off, which the girls didn't seem to appreciate. He gave a cough to compose himself when they gave him identical glares. "I'm sure you can find one."

"Are you crazy, Daisuke?" Risa exclaimed, suddenly whipping out a black book which had lists and lists stores that provided everything needed in a wedding. It was like her little black book of wedding resources. "Getting a wedding dress can be the hardest task! It can take hours or even months for a woman to find the perfect one!"

Riku groaned and slapped her head on her forehead. "And I don't have any time! I have to head a huge catering delivery today and tomorrow! Not to mention get everything ready for my own wedding!"

Riku was groaning and muttering under her breath as Daisuke simply continued to drink his coffee, deciding not to interfere with the women's recent hubbub. He actually found it somewhat funny as his wife and her sister bickered back and forth about what to do.

"Why doesn't Risa just get it?" he finally suggested. "I mean, you guys _are_ twins. You probably have the same measurements and stuff right?"

The twins looked at each other, considering the idea. But then, Risa defiantly shook her head. "I can't do that," she insisted. "It's _your_ wedding, Riku. I can't just go and pick a dress for you! The dress is the most important part of the wedding!"

Riku shook her head and sighed sadly. "As much as I'd love to pick out my own dress," she started, "I just can't. Do you think you can do it for me?"

"But Riku…"

Riku simply took her twin's hands in hers, looking at her seriously. "You've always been much better at clothes anyway. Please do me this favor?" she pleaded. She then grinned. "Please? As my maid of honor?"

Risa's eyes widened, surprised at the sudden proposal. For the last few years, she hadn't even dreamed of the possibility of patching things up with her sister. So was this really happening? Was her sister actually asking her to be her maid of honor?

Was everything finally settled between them?

"Riku…"

Behind them, Daisuke had a small smile on his lips as he drank his coffee. Risa looked at him momentarily and he nodded at her with insistent, crimson eyes, urging her to accept.

A grin spread on Risa's face as her eyes started welling with tears. "How could I refuse?"

The twins yelped in excitement and hugged each other, screaming and jumping up and down like little girls. Daisuke simply smiled as he tried to cover his aching ears from the shrill yelling. They were so caught up in the thrill that they didn't even notice a certain blue-haired man walk into the kitchen, intending to pick up Risa for their day's outing.

He came in and turned to Daisuke, wincing at all the noise. "Is Riku pregnant or something?"

Daisuke turned a bright pink and almost choked on his coffee before fervently shaking his head. "Riku just asked her to be her maid of honor."

Satoshi gave a genuine smile and looked to the scene of the sisters talking eagerly with each other. "I never I'd see the day when they'd finally make up."

Daisuke looked at his best friend and grinned, seeing the blue haired man's unusual brightened expression and calm demeanor. He seemed to be like a new man these past few days. Never before had Daisuke seen him so willing to smile, to joke, to laugh. Never before had Satoshi seemed so at peace with everything. "I never thought I'd see the day when you'd finally smile either."

Satoshi glanced at the red-head and gave a grunt. "Shut up," he said, the smile still on his lips.

But Daisuke was right. Satoshi never thought he'd see the day he would be smiling like a fool either…

…But he didn't mind at all. In fact, he rather liked it.

* * *

"Okay, Riku," Risa called out from the main entry room as she packed her wedding planner books into her purse. "I'm going out with Satoshi now to find your dress. I promise I'll try to find the perfect one."

Riku hurried down the stairs, still buttoning up her white shirt for work. "Wait, Risa!"

Risa turned to her twin in confusion before she could leave the house and meet Satoshi in his car where he was waiting. If Riku didn't start to hurry now, she was going to be late for work. "What's wrong?"

Riku gave a small smile. "I just wanted to ask...are you going to talk to him today?"

Every night now they've been talking about this whole Satoshi thing and how great things have been going. But Riku was concerned about how things were so unofficial. After all, Satoshi and Risa weren't really dating or going out. They had just "started over"…whatever that means.

Risa shrugged and gave a sheepish grin. "I don't know, Riku. Things are going really well between us. I don't want to suddenly rush into things."

"But you said yourself that you're not sure what really is going on between you two. And you did say that you're wondering why you two aren't really 'together.' Why not just confirm it? Just ask him."

Risa mulled the idea over in her head for the thousandth time. Yes, she had been wondering why they hadn't made things official between them yet. It was obvious that everything was going extremely well between them and that they had feelings for each other. Why not just go for it?

But then again…maybe they just needed to slow things down and leave things unofficial for now. After all, they both needed to get used to the idea of having someone to love who loved them back.

And that word: _love_. That seemed like such a taboo word between them. It was as if neither of them really knew if they were ready to admit such an emotion aloud. Besides, she didn't even know if she loved him yet! It's only been a few days since she realized how much Satoshi meant to her and how much he seemed to care for her.

"I'll think about it."

* * *

"Can you believe it?" Risa exclaimed happily as she and Satoshi walked down the busy street in search of a bridal shop that Risa had found in her little black book of wedding resources. It was the only store that sold wedding gowns in town, so they both hoped that they would be able to find something there. Risa sighed in disbelief. "Riku asked me to be her maid of honor!"

"Are you sure she didn't ask you just so you'd do this little favor for her?" Satoshi joked.

She gave him a short, meaningless glare. "I'm actually surprised she didn't ask anyone yet," she continued, ignoring him. "She told me that all the bridesmaids and groomsmen were picked out. Plus, you were picked as the best man, for some reason," she said with a smirk. Satoshi grunted at her tiny insult and decided to let it go. "I just assumed that she had a maid of honor already as well."

"She was waiting for you."

Risa looked up at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "I always thought she'd want you to be her maid of honor. Whether you guys were fighting or not. After all, you mean a lot to her. Not to mention that you mean a lot to Daisuke." He stopped walking and she followed in suit. "And to me. I think we all just expected you to be a big part of the wedding somehow. And now that you're back and everything fine between everyone, Riku decided to jump on the opportunity. That's why she didn't pick a maid of honor yet."

Risa stared up at him in wonder. They all still wanted her to be a part of the wedding and their lives? Even when such tension had built up between them for the past few years? All this time…Riku were thinking of her…even if she didn't admit it?

God…How can Satoshi always say the right things at the right times? How can he always manage to make her see things that she would not have even thought of? And every time he did this – which was often – she always felt just…even more aware of her growing feelings for him.

Yes, they haven't been together for too long. It's only been about a month since she last came back home. But within that month, she and Satoshi shared something different. They had a link. They had similarities, despite their obvious different personalities.

They've both been waiting to love and to be loved. They've both been waiting to be with people like each other.

Suddenly, Risa knew. Even though they hadn't been "together" – if you could even call it that – for very long, she knew right then and there that she loved him. And in spite of what she had allowed to get in between them a few days ago, she was as sure as she'll ever be that Satoshi had crept into her heart during her visit back home. He had helped in monumental ways when she had felt uncomfortable with Riku and Daisuke. And he had helped ease her aching heart. In fact, she never thought about Dark now. The hurt he had caused her was now a glimmer of the past.

Satoshi was the one who she needed all this time. And he would never hurt her the way Dark had.

She wanted to tell him how much she cared. How much she loved him.

But why rush things? They had all the time. In fact, she was seriously considering moving back home with her relationship with Satoshi and her sister doing so well…

She would tell him when things got settled. When he had gotten used to the fact that he was no longer alone. When he realized that he could finally be vulnerable to her.

Or maybe – hopefully – he would confess his love first?

She smiled a beautiful smile up at him and Satoshi felt his knees grow weak at the sight. Suddenly she had swooped up and caught his lips with hers, her hands cradling his face. Although surprised, Satoshi kissed back fervently, ignoring the people walking past them. Oh how he loved it when she kissed him like this. It was so sweet, so tantalizing, so…

Ugh. He didn't know what it was but it felt so damn good.

She finally pulled away, a small smile still on her lips. "Thanks..."

Satoshi looked down at her, still somewhat flustered at the intense emotion he had felt being transmitted through that kiss. He gave a simple shrug as he smirked back sheepishly.

With responses like that, he'd gladly make her feel better anytime.

* * *

"How about this one?"

"Harada Risa!" Satoshi groaned in frustration as he sat on a coach staring straight at a wall. "For the last time, how am I supposed to know when I can't even see you? I don't understand why you asked me to come with you to try on dresses when you refuse to even let me see them!"

Behind him and out of his sight, Risa was standing on a pedestal, and peering at herself at the three-faced mirror in front of her. Although the fit was perfect and it would look great on Riku, the bow on the back simply was too much. Riku needed something simple but elegant. Something like her.

"Eh. It's too gaudy," Risa said, basically ignoring Satoshi, as she stepped down, grabbed another dress, and headed toward to dressing rooms.

Satoshi sighed.

Women…

He heard giggling to his side and spotted the shop owner carrying some huge white gowns back and forth. "It's for moral support," she said with a smile. "Besides, the groom isn't allowed to see the bride in her dress before the wedding!"

Satoshi turned pink. Him? A groom?

"N-No I'm not…" But the lady was already walking away.

Satoshi sighed once again, running his hand through his hair. Him a groom and Risa his bride? He couldn't help but find the idea appealing. Spending the rest of his life with her, waking up to see her face every morning, having kids with her…it all sounded so…

Wait. He couldn't get ahead of himself. He didn't even know what they were right now for God's sakes!

What were they exactly? Were they just friends? But friends didn't just kiss each other like that, did they? Were they something more? He didn't know. And honestly, he didn't want to think about it too much. All he knew was that he loved her. And he loved being with her.

He loved her. He hadn't found the perfect opportunity to tell her that yet. He actually wasn't sure if he was even ready to tell her yet.

Things were just so complicated right now.

Besides, there was another reason why he was hesitant to confess his feelings. There was something in the recesses of his heart that was still unsure. For years he had been trying to lock himself in. Even though Risa had been somewhat of a key to unlocking his emotions, there was still something lingering in his heart that still made him afraid of being vulnerable to her, opening himself completely to her. He was ashamed, but it still held him back.

Being used was something he did not want to experience again.

"I think I found it!" he heard her exclaim as she ran out of the dressing cubicle and stepped onto the pedestal.

Satoshi sighed, but was glad for the distraction from the painful memory. "You've said that about every dress so far."

"No! I really think I found it!"

"You've said that, too!" He heard the fabric of the dress rustle as he pictured her behind him. She had turned, trying to see every angle of the dress and still peering at herself in the mirror. He threw his hands up in frustration as he stood and started to turn around himself. "That's it! This is ridiculous! I'm going to look whether you want me to or not!"

"No! Satoshi!" she said as she too started to turn to face him.

But he turned, ignoring her request. He finally did a full turn, catching her figure in full view. And suddenly his eyes widened.

He saw an angel.

She stood there with her long, brown hair thrown up into a messy bun, with strands of it falling down and contrasting with the white fabric. Her neck was slender and exposed as the simple but beautiful strapless dress hugged her chest and torso. The bodice fit her perfectly and accented her figure with the few eye catching jewels embedded into it. The skirt portion fell like a soft white bell around her legs and the train behind her flowed like an intricate white water fall.

He was speechless.

Risa started feeling uncomfortable under his gaze. "I told you not to look!" she exclaimed. "Maybe it's not as pretty as I though after all?" she said as she continued to look at herself in the mirror, feeling self-conscious.

Satoshi shook his head fervently. "N-No. It's not that. It's…I mean…" He swallowed trying hard not to stare. But it was simply impossible. "Wow."

He heard her giggle as he stepped closer to her, feeling drawn to her as if she was some kind of magnet. She smiled at him as he too stepped on the wide pedestal and stood behind her, both of them looking at their figures in the mirror now. He realized just how perfect they looked standing there side by side…and how perfect she looked standing there in all white.

"So you like it?" she asked hopefully. "You think Riku will like it?"

He felt his heart melt as he looked at her as she smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

Looking at her beauty and thinking of a possible future together had suddenly dissipated all the qualms he had about their relationship. Who cared about what official "title" they had for their relationship now? Boyfriend and girlfriend. Friends with benefits. Friends who were "talking." None of that mattered.

His heart felt lightened. The last piece of doubt had melted away as soon as he had seen their figures in the mirror together.

"I love you," he suddenly blurted without thinking.

Risa widened her eyes and whipped her head around so she could come face to face with him. "What?"

Satoshi looked at her helplessly, realizing that it was too late to take his careless, unromantic, haphazard confession back. He sighed and just gave a small smile. He wanted her to know. "I think I…I love you, Risa."

Risa broke into a grin, feeling elated at his words. She tried to speak, too overwhelmed with happiness to even utter a sound at first. "I love you too, Satoshi."

At the words, he looked down at her gently as he pulled her into a kiss. They didn't care whether or not people in the shop were staring. They didn't care what their current "relationship" really was.

All they cared about was that perfect moment in time when they were in each other's arms.

* * *

Satoshi sat at his desk in his office, leaning back and staring at the ceiling. After reluctantly dropping Risa and the dress at the Harada residence, he headed back to work since he had so much work to get done.

But honestly, he didn't want to do anything right now. He just wanted to stare off and think about Risa. Or better yet, _be_ with Risa right now.

Damn job of his.

Today had been absolutely perfect. Despite his embarrassing confession, it had turned out well after all.

"_I love you too, Satoshi."_

Those words. They just couldn't stop replaying in his mind. She loved him. She really loved him. He felt so…

…He couldn't describe it. He couldn't describe a lot of things that he had felt the last few days. It just felt so different. So good.

"Sir?"

He picked up his head in a hurry, surprised that he didn't even notice the officer enter his office. "Y-Yes?"

The police officer looked at the almighty Hiwatari with a look of uncertainty. Since when did Chief Hiwatari look up into the sky in a daze like some lovesick teenager? "I was told to hand this to you, sir."

Suddenly, Satoshi's mood dropped as he was handed the small white envelope with his name elegantly written in golden ink on it. His face hardened in realization. How could he forget that it was that time of the year?

Everything came crashing down on him. Everything good thing that had happened to him suddenly flew out of the window. Suddenly a surge of anger rushed through him as he stared at the invitation, his hand trembling.

"I was also told to tell you that Chief Kurosawa deeply wishes you to come this year."

Satoshi swallowed, his eyes darkening behind his glasses. The messenger stepped back in nervousness.

"You can tell Kurosawa," Satoshi said darkly as he crumpled up the invitation in his hand, "that I will _never_ attend this idiotic event!"

Squeaking a quick "Yes, sir," the messenger scurried out of the chief's office in a hurry, experiencing the Hiwatari that he had been expecting.

Left alone, Satoshi gripped onto the crumpled invitation, his eyes flashing.

Damn _him_. He always comes up when everything is going so perfectly. When everything is actually going well in his life, that's when _he_ has to come and ruin it all. He just couldn't leave Satoshi alone and let him be happy. Not ever. Not even once in his life…

…and not even in death.

"Damn you, Hiwatari."


	13. Needing

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By: **pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 13:** Needing

Her long brown hair billowing in the breeze, Risa stood outside quite an intimidating building. She stared up at it, standing awkwardly on the steps. A few tough-looking men clad in police uniforms exited the building and she definitely felt out of place in her casual sundress. She wouldn't have ever even thought about stepping foot in the thirteenth police precinct of her hometown if a certain sky blue haired man didn't work here.

It had been only a couple of hours since they had seen each other. It was nearing seven o'clock now and the sun was already on its way to the horizon, casting shadows along the pavement. Satoshi had mentioned that he got out of work early tonight and since Risa had yearned to be near him during their few hours apart, she had decided to come and pick him up and see if he wanted to go out to dinner. After all, Riku was out at work still, packed with a busy schedule for the next few days, and Daisuke was out somewhere as well, so she might as well see if Satoshi was willing to accompany her, right?

A small smile appeared on her lips as she thought back to this afternoon. The way his face looked flustered and embarrassed after he had blurted out three certain words had been priceless. But although his confession was haphazard and random, she wouldn't have traded it for any other confession scenario. Besides, he had looked so adorable when she had said those three words back. He had looked like he was somewhere between excited and sheepish, yet he was trying to cover it up with a firm and simple smile. Risa could almost laugh aloud at the thought of it.

Her eyes softened dramatically as she remembered those three words spoken from his mouth. He loved her. He really loved her. The one thing she had truly needed all these years, the three words she had been dying to hear from his mouth…they had come. And she couldn't have felt more complete or ecstatic.

Still smiling, she headed her way inside the thirteenth police precinct, suddenly unaware of how ominous the building looked. All she thought about was seeing Satoshi again.

* * *

Satoshi sighed angrily as he sat at his desk, glaring at the man standing on the opposite side. He was middle aged with a distinguished mustache above his upper lip and decked out in the appropriate attire of black dress pants and a dress shirt. As chief of police of the next town over, Kurosawa certainly held a lot of authority over many people. However, he had the type of personality that made him seem less intimidating. He was personable and always had a smile on his face. Chief Kurosawa was essentially the complete opposite of Chief Hiwatari, the young, handsome, but undeniably cold authority figure.

The mere sight of Kurosawa nauseated Satoshi and boiled his blood at the same time. It was further irritating that the man had barged in just when he was about to leave for home.

How infuriating…

"I told you, Kurosawa," he urged firmly, interrupting the man's longwinded speech about the upcoming event, "I'm not attending your damn event! I never have and I never will!"

However, the man smiled good-naturedly, not once fazed by the younger man's coldness or impoliteness. After all, year after year he has had to deal with Hiwatari Satoshi with this particular situation. "But surely this year is different, Chief Hiwatari?" he insisted. "Don't you think it's finally time to honor my best friend and your father–"

"That man deserves no honor!" Satoshi growled, sounding menacing. He stood up suddenly, his icy gaze piercing. "I think it's time you've left."

Kurosawa sighed, yet still not in defeat. After all these years, he still mistook Satoshi's anger for a whole load of unexpressed grief for his father's death. He was determined to let the poor boy out of his misery by making him come to tomorrow's ball. "Okay, okay," he said as he headed towards the door, "But I still look forward to seeing you tomorrow night."

"I can assure you," Satoshi said through gritted teeth, "You won't see me."

Ignoring Satoshi's last comment, Kurosawa headed towards the door. However, the two occupants of the room were both surprised when the door suddenly burst open just when Kurosawa was reaching for the knob. Risa stood at the doorway, her excited smile suddenly replaced with a confused expression. She felt the obvious tension in the room and she looked curiously at Satoshi. However, her view was soon blocked by a middle aged man with a mustache.

"Hello, young lady," the gentleman said politely, tipping his head forward a bit to show respect. He smiled and she returned it. "Were you waiting for Chief Hiwatari? I apologize, I seem to have taken up quite a bit of his time. Though may I say that I am mighty surprised to see a visitor, much more a young lady, come for the chief." He laughed good-naturedly. "Usually only Niwa-san is allowed to visit. Chief Hiwatari is very serious about his work."

Risa glanced at Satoshi, who had an exasperated look on his face, before slightly shaking her head, still quite baffled at the man's sudden but friendly rambling. "Oh no, don't apologize. I just arrived."

The man laughed again, this time in embarrassment. "Well I'm afraid I have to apologize for not properly introducing myself." He held out a burly hand as he grinned. "I'm Chief Kurosawa, in charge of the police department in the next town over."

Risa gave a small smile, still confused as she glanced over to Satoshi and saw him scowl. However, she took the hand and shook it. "I'm Harada Risa."

Suddenly, the chief's grin widened. "So Harada-san, I'm sure you're the type of young lady that likes balls, right? How would you like to attend one tomorrow night? I've been trying to convince Chief Hiwatari here, but–"

"Kurosawa," Satoshi suddenly growled, his voice dark and somewhat threatening.

"Oh, I'm just asking the young lady a question," Kurosawa responded with a laugh, momentarily looking over his shoulder at Satoshi. He turned back to Risa, his brown eyes suddenly alighted with excitement. "Doesn't a police ball sound fun to you?"

Feeling Satoshi simmering in the background, yet not wanting to upset the sociable older man in front of her, Risa was at a loss for words. After a moment of stammering, she shrugged. "I guess so," she said, trying to come up with a safe answer.

Kurosawa's grin widened. "Great! Everyone will be so excited! I'll see you both tomorrow night then!"

Satoshi's voice grew louder, as did his anger. "No, Kuro–"

But the clever man was already halfway out the door. "Oh, and don't forget to write a speech, Chief Hiwatari!" he said, interrupting Satoshi's tirade. Then, he was quickly out of the door, closing the office door behind him with a slight slam.

Still feeling quite overwhelmed, Risa suddenly realized that she might've gotten Satoshi into something he didn't want to do. She looked toward him, hearing him give a dejected sigh.

"That man," he muttered under his breath. Still seething, he sat down in his chair in defeat. "He will stop at nothing…"

Risa walked toward him slowly, an apologetic look on her face. "I-I'm sorry, Satoshi," she said, almost afraid of the dark look on his face. She had never seen him so ominous and infuriated before. "I didn't know…"

He glanced up at her and as soon as he saw her saddened, remorseful eyes, the anger suddenly melted away from his body. He closed his eyes momentarily, trying to calm himself, before looking up at her with a slight smile. "Don't apologize. You didn't do anything."

"What was he talking about anyway?"

Dismally, he reached for the crumpled invitation on his desk and handed it to her. Risa smoothed out the small envelope, wondering why it was in such a condition in the first place. When she finally took out the paper inside, she read the words written in golden ink.

_You are cordially invited to the annual police ball held in honor of_

_Commissioner Hiwatari Kei_.

Risa looked at the name almost in shock. Hiwatari Kei? Satoshi's–?

"My _father_," Satoshi said through a clench jaw. Risa noticed him spit the last word with spite and she grew silent, remembering what Riku had told her about Satoshi having problems with his late father.

She was quiet, watching Satoshi's face contort with pain and anger. Her heart went out to him and she longed to comfort him, feeling pained herself at his pain. Never before had she felt so sympathetic for someone else's grief…never before had she felt such an unbearable pain herself just because someone she loved was in such a state…

She moved quietly towards him and crouched down next to his chair so that she was level with him. Gently, she reached a hand out to his face, caressing it. "You don't have to attend," Risa said quietly, desperately wanting to ease the tension. She gave an encouraging smile. "Who cares, right?"

He looked at her softened brown eyes, feeling lost in them. How could she always be so understanding? He hadn't even mentioned anything about his hate for his father and suddenly it seemed like she knew everything. And furthermore, she wasn't nagging him or forcing him to tell her what he was feeling. She just understood. She just…knew.

The pain of his past disappeared, as they always did when he looked at her. Knowing that this angelic woman in front of him loved him and wanted to be there for him gave him newfound happiness, a happiness that even the memory of his father couldn't disperse. Suddenly, this knowledge made him realize that maybe because of her he'll finally be able to let go his past. Maybe he'll be able to finally face it.

Abruptly, his body began moving forward, compelled to feel her soft lips against his. She was the only thing on his mind, the only thing that could possibly comfort him. He knew now that she was the only one who he needed and wanted. Finally capturing her lips, he gave a sharp intake of breath at the touch. It was amazing how such a small gesture such as a kiss could make him feel so happy. And the fact that she was ardently returning it made it feel even more amazing.

Suddenly, he wanted more of it, he wanted more of this indescribable elation. He wanted to feel even more complete and ecstatic, if that were possible. His hands reached out for her unconsciously and found themselves on her sides, pulling her close and causing her to have to straddle him on his chair. However, they paid no heed to their suddenly compromising position.

As his hands roamed up and down her back, holding her close, her tongue gently pushed through to enter his mouth. Risa moaned, getting her fingers tangled in his hair. She had never felt this way about someone before. The desire, the _need,_ to be with Satoshi was vast. It was as if in this one moment, they were pouring out their feelings to each other. She could feel his painful past in each of his kisses. She could hear and feel the loneliness he had felt all this time as a groan erupted from his throat and his coarse hands held her. She wanted to calm him, to show him that she was here now. He didn't have to feel so empty anymore.

Suddenly, as if suddenly realizing how deep he had fallen, Satoshi pulled away, breathing deeply. He looked up at her bruised lips and half-lidded eyes and felt both embarrassment and shame root themselves in the pit of his stomach. Risa didn't need this now. He couldn't just throw himself at her and expect her to do the same. It was only hours ago that he had admitted his love for her. It was only hours ago that he had realized that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He couldn't move this fast. It was unfair to her.

Gently, and quite reluctantly, Satoshi peeled her off of him until she was standing on her own two feet. Risa almost let out a whimper as he stopped things. She hadn't wanted to stop…not at all.

She stood there silently as he looked up sheepishly at her and cleared his throat. "I'm…sorry." Despite trying to clear his throat, his voice still sounded deep and raspy.

Risa only smiled at his expression and settled for an innocent kiss on his cheek before sitting on his lap. "No need to apologize."

She stared at him and watched him struggle to think of something to say. She started to laugh at his discomfort, causing him to look at her exasperatedly, but with relief. He sighed, a slight smile on his mouth, as he held her gently.

Assuaging the tense atmosphere, Risa smiled as she sat contentedly in his arms. Then, suddenly seeing the recently crumpled invitation on his desk, she decided to convince him that he shouldn't attend that ball. She didn't understand why he had been so against it, yet she knew that the thought of his father affected him in a negative way, as if Satoshi had bad memories of his father. And she didn't want him to relive all those memories. She wanted to make him forget. She wanted to make him realize that all he needed now was her.

"About the ball tomorrow night…" she started, her voice quiet.

"Yes, about the ball," Satoshi replied, his voice still dark. Risa was silent, trying to think what she should say next and trying not to say something wrong at the same time. Suddenly, Satoshi looked up at her with a blank face. "Do you have a dress?"

She was surprised by the question. "Satoshi, we don't have to go–"

"Nonsense. It's just a stupid ball. Kurosawa's been trying to manipulate me into going for years." He looked at her with a playfully accusing stare. "He finally found a way to do so."

She gave another apologetic smile. "Are you sure you want to go?"

No. He didn't _want_ to go. He didn't want to go anywhere if that damn man was going to be remembered and honored like he was some noble person.

But even if he didn't want to attend the event, he realized that maybe he _could_. With Risa, he could do anything. He might even be able to tolerate a night of remembering that fool.

"As long as you're there."

* * *

Risa looked around at the surroundings, taking in the elegant décor and dim, but mood-setting lighting. The light chatter of the other customers filled her ears, accompanied by the gentle music of a string quartet in the front of the restaurant. She was so involved with her surroundings that she almost didn't see her blue-haired companion pull out the chair for her. She quickly sat down and looked across the table, which was adorned with a candle, roses, beautifully decorated china, and intricately folded napkins. She caught Satoshi's eyes as he too sat down and gave him an accusing look.

"When I said we should go out to dinner tonight, I didn't mean somewhere like this, you know," she said, feeling absolutely out of place in her unfitting sundress and platform sandals. "I was expecting…you know…somewhere a little less elegant."

He gave her a half smile. "I thought a skilled wedding planner such as you would be used to dining with such class."

She glared at him meekly. Although she realized she loved him now, he was still somewhat irritating. But she guessed she liked him and his mild teasing. She was about to rebut his comment when a waiter dressed in a proper black pants and vest came to their table and handed them both menus.

As Satoshi ordered some wine, Risa's eyes widened at the prices and she suddenly forgot to respond to his wedding planner insult. "S-Satoshi…these prices…"

"Are manageable," he finished.

He looked at her sharply when she glared at him. Suddenly, she sighed, accepting this extravagant date. Count on Satoshi to make a big deal out of a simple dinner. "Why did you decide to come to such a place today anyway?" Risa muttered. Suddenly she saw him look away and was afraid she had said something wrong. "I-I mean…you know, I appreciate it all but…"

Her voice faded in her explanation and they sat there in silence for a moment. The clinking of china and the babble of the people around them filled their ears.

"I…I guess I wanted to celebrate…" Satoshi suddenly said.

His reason caught her attention. "Celebrate what?"

Suddenly a sheepish look covered his face. "At…At the boutique…"

Risa's eyes widened then softened at the mention of the dress boutique. It had been the place where…they had confessed their feelings for each other just this afternoon. Her eyes watched as Satoshi embarrassedly and desperately tried to look anywhere else but at her. A small smile caught her lips as she giggled.

The noise caused him to look at her and he frowned. She always made him feel so foolish.

"Who knew that Hiwatari Satoshi could be such a sap?"

Satoshi let out a, "Hmph." "Fine then, next time I won't bother to–"

Suddenly her hands had reached across the table and had taken his. His eyes softened as he looked at hers.

"No, Satoshi," she said, a gentle smile on her lips. Her face looked utterly radiant, even in the dim lighting. "I wanted to celebrate too." The look on her face was genuine and there was a sincere happiness in her tone.

Satoshi held her hands firmly in his own hands as they stared at each other. Once again, he felt his heart flutter, his soul melt…all those sappy clichés suddenly made sense. It was hard to understand this feeling. It was harder to explain it.

He thought back to when they were in his office, how wholly understanding she had been. Since then, he had been wondering how and why she could be that way. How is it that she had such an open personality and was so willing to let herself go, but when it came to coming across a person like him, a person who wasn't open at all, she was still able to understand him?

"Why didn't you…ask about my father?" he asked suddenly, catching Risa off guard. "You know…like why I don't want to attend tomorrow night's ball? Aren't you curious?"

She looked at him in surprised. However, she gave him a sincere look as she held his hands. "I know that…that you don't like talking about things like that."

"But you're so open about your troubles," Satoshi replied, remembering how she had poured her broken heart to him when she had first arrived back in her hometown.

Risa just shrugged. "That's just me. You don't have to feel compelled to do the same."

Suddenly, she saw his eyes sadden. "I…I want to…" he said quietly. Inside, he was torn. He wanted to tell her everything, open up to her about everything. He had thought that since he had confessed he loved her he was ready to, but… "I just…"

"You're scared of being vulnerable." He looked up at her quickly, but didn't see an accusing or hurt look in her eyes like he had thought. She just looked at him with pure understanding. "I'm not asking you to be vulnerable for me, Satoshi. I just want to be with you."

He looked at her smile, so sincere and honest. He still felt uncertain. After all, Risa deserved an open and honest person such as herself. She needed someone who could openly share his feelings with her.

She deserved someone better than him.

It was then that the waiter had come back with their wine. Their hands immediately let go of each other as they continued to order their entrees.

* * *

Satoshi fell on his bed, still fully clothed. It was late and he had just returned from dropping Risa off. He was exhausted for some reason. However, he guessed it was understandable, considering that so much had happened that day. From confessing his feelings, to getting the invitation, to deciding to attend the ball, to finally feeling unworthy for Risa…it had proved to be quite a day.

He closed his blue eyes, taking off his glasses and laying them on the bedside table. He truly was unworthy for her. Even after finally knowing that she loved him back, he was still scared. Being alone for such a long time, he was scared what would happen if he suddenly let someone in. He might be used. He might be forgotten. He might be taken advantage of. And to realize that Risa wasn't scared of all of these things, to realize that even before they were "together" she had been so willing to risk these things to him, it made him feel even more undeserving of her.

Why couldn't he open up to her? No matter how hard he urged himself to want to tell her everything, he just couldn't.

He turned on his side, opening his bedside table's drawer. From the recesses of a random book, he took out a simple, pressed flower he had kept all these years.

A drooped, bell-shaped blossom. A thin, leafless stem.

A snowdrop.

He stared at it, feeling an undeniable resurgence of hope brimming inside of him. He would soon open himself up to Risa. He had to.

She deserved it.

* * *

Embarrassed, Risa blocked the camera's view of her with an arm, scowling at her twin sister who was behind the camera in the first place. "Riku! Seriously, stop!" she urged. "Aren't you supposed to be at work? You know your busy company needs you!"

Riku simply grinned as she continued to take snapshots of her sister. "Oh please! A few minutes won't hurt! I just wanted to see you two off!"

Risa sighed as she glared at Daisuke who was chuckling in the corner of the living room. "I guess she dragged you here too?"

Daiuske gave a smile. "Oh no, I _wanted_ to see this as well."

The antagonized Harada frowned at Daisuke's and Riku's antics and turned to the nearby wall mirror, feeling anxious as she fiddled with her hair and makeup. She hadn't felt nervous yesterday, until Riku and Daisuke had come home and started making it a big deal. Suddenly, hearing that all the important police officers, mayors from the nearby towns, distinguished professors, and more made her feel not all that welcome to the event.

"Oh stop, Risa," Riku said, snapping a few more pictures in her face. "You look beautiful! And I'm sure Satoshi will think so too."

Risa turned to face them, an uncertain look on her face. "I don't know…I kind of have a bad feeling about tonight…"

"Well, it is true that Satoshi has never been to that annual event in honor of his father," Daisuke speculated. "It's amazing that you even convinced him to go in the first place. But I am kind of worried by how he'll react to things there. His father has always held a high position among society and has always been honored. I think that kind of irritates Satoshi and–"

Suddenly, he yelled out as Riku pinched his arm. Daisuke's slightly pained ruby eyes looked at her apologetically as Riku glared at him.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Riku insisted, seeing her twin's growing worry. "Just have a good time. I'm sure with you there, he'll be fine."

"Yeah," Risa said, still unconvinced. "Tonight will be fun…"

"Hopefully," a quiet voice said from the entrance of the room. The three whipped their heads to see a dashing Satoshi clad in his old tuxedo. However, the jacket to his attire was draped over his arm to reveal his striking black vest.

Seeing him dressed formally reminded Risa of a few weeks ago when they had attended Riku's restaurant's celebration. Satoshi was still drop dead handsome and looked extremely comfortable in a nice tux, yet something was different now. She guessed it was because now that they were officially together…

…_hot damn_ was she ecstatic to realize that _this _was the man she loved.

"Oh," Riku cooed. "Satoshi, you look wonderful! Maybe you didn't have to buy a new tux after all."

"Man, I didn't even hear you come in. Maybe giving you that key now that you and Risa are together was a bad idea," Daisuke joked, evaluating his best friend's clothing. "You look great!"

Satoshi muttered a quiet thank you to both of them before setting his sights on the woman elegantly standing in the middle of the room. His breath caught in his throat. Her hair was pulled into an elegant bun at the base of her neck. Strands of hair framed her face, which was now even more angelic now that her hair couldn't hide it. Her eyelids were shadowed with a tasteful, smoky look and a slight polish covered her lips. Risa wore a stylish, silk, charcoal dress which touched the floor, the bodice, straps and beginning of the skirt adorned with tiny braiding. Other than her dress, earrings, charcoal shoes, and thin bracelet, she wore nothing else. She looked simple, but utterly gorgeous.

He was at a loss of words as he looked at her. "Risa…you look…"

She laughed as she offered the word he had used to describe her before the last social even they had gone to. "Nice?"

Satoshi gave a half smile at the remembrance of that night so many days ago. "More like…perfect."

Suddenly, a flash blinded him, causing him to blink continuously, trying to regain his eyesight. He looked to the camera in Riku's hand and she grinned, pushing Satoshi and Risa together for a picture. Risa apologized as Daisuke laughed heartily at his fiancé's actions.

After Riku had gotten her fill of photography, she sighed, looking at her sister and Satoshi. "Now don't bring her home too late, Satoshi," she warned teasingly. Suddenly, she winked. "Otherwise…don't bring her home at all." Risa grew a deep red and Satoshi stammered with his words as Riku quickly ushered the couple out of the door, laughing all the while. "Just as long as you guys are on time for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night, you can keep her out as late as you want, Satoshi!" she joked. "I can't be without my best man and maid of honor after all!"

* * *

Risa looked up at Satoshi uncertainly, seeing his blank expression. They were standing outside the venue for the ball now, the car being driven away by the valet. She reached for his hand, wanting to comfort him. He looked to her, seeing the stars reflect off of her brown eyes, and he tried to give a reassuring smile. Apparently it didn't work so well because she still looked up at him in worry. He sighed and clasped her hand. "Let's go."

Once inside the hall, a crowd of people filled the room, wearing gowns and tuxedos that were just as elegant as Risa's and Satoshi's. Many were seated and talking with each other good-naturedly, others were dancing to the orchestra that had been set up at the front of the room. Waiters were going around, setting down plates or walking around offering drinks.

Risa noticed that as soon as they had stepped into the room, people had turned to them, whispering to each other about the newly arrived couple. She sighed as she thought back to Riku's restaurant event. Hordes of women had tried to talk to the town's police chief. Did they know that he wasn't exactly a bachelor anymore?

Beside her, Satoshi was stiff, leading her into the room cautiously. He spotted at the front of the room near the orchestra, a blown up picture of his father, with a mass of flowers surrounding it. His jaw tightened at the sight as he tried to look away from the picture of the man he had called father.

Suddenly, a familiar face approached them, a characteristic smile on his face. "Why, Chief Hiwatari! Harada-san! It's a pleasure to see you two here!" Kurosawa was grinning from ear to ear as he spoke. He turned to Risa, whispering, "I was almost afraid you wouldn't be able to convince him to come!" as he laughed.

Risa gave a weak smile, keeping her eye on Satoshi's face. He, on the other hand, kept his lips in a firm line.

"Come, come, have a drink!" Kurosawa said as he grabbed three glasses from the passing waiter. He handed them each a glass of wine while he kept the last. "It's a day of remembrance, a day of honoring the lost," he said seriously. "We need to celebrate my best friend's life, enjoy our own lives as much as we can. I know that Kei would want that," he said solemnly. He gave a sad smile. "I know that Kei is sincerely happy that you're here tonight, Chief Hiwatari."

Satoshi gave a curt nod, looking away quickly as he felt that familiar fire of anger rise up within him. He felt Risa squeeze his hand and breathed slowly before downing the cup of red wine, relishing the burning sensation in his throat.

* * *

Satoshi was on his fourth glass of wine when Risa had excused herself from the table to go to the ladies' room. He had spent the evening so far sitting next to her at their assigned table, quiet as a mouse. When people came up to him and tried to start a conversation, he would respond with one word answers, causing them to quickly get bored and walk away. Others were far too intimidated by him to even go up to him. As for the majority of the women who previously had their eyes on him, they had seen his interaction with Risa and hadn't bothered to interfere with them that night.

Listening to the orchestra play, Satoshi stared blankly at the temporary memorial of his father. In a portrait, his father was sitting calmly, light brown hair falling perfectly onto his face, his glasses covering content brown eyes. Yet Satoshi wasn't fooled by the pleasant look on his face. His blue eyes pierced through the photo, memories of the man resurfacing in his mind. A pointed disapproving look. A discouraging frown. A piercing snarl. A sharp insult or snide comment when time and time again Satoshi proved to be a failure. All of these things cut into him as he grew older, making him feel more and more unworthy every day, and making him feel the need to please him even though everything he did only seemed to aggravate him.

People honored Hiwatari Kei. They had believed in his façade of a personality. Only Satoshi knew him for what he really was…a selfish bastard who used people for his own gain.

He had wanted to try to use Satoshi. That's why he had adopted him in the first place.

His palms balled into fists before he grabbed yet another glass of wine from a passing waiter. Downing it quickly, he was surprised to see three middle aged women surrounding him as he looked up again. He suddenly wished that Risa would return from the bathroom.

"Chief Hiwatari!" cooed one of the women. "It's such an honor to meet you!"

"Finally you've been able to come to this event," the other said a sympathetic frown on her lips. "Of course, I don't blame you for avoiding such a night. It does feel rather unfair that we enjoy ourselves with you father not here…even after all these years, we all still dearly miss him."

"Yes, it must have been difficult for you to attend this, even if his death was such a long time ago," the last said. "It truly does show that you have strong character, just like your father."

"He was such a good man…adopting a boy and raising him on his own."

"And he was such a hard worker and people person. After all, look at how many people are here today."

"Surely, his death must have been tragic for you," the first added, taking Satoshi's paled face as a struggle to keep from grieving for his late adoptive father. "But he died an honorable death in his line of work."

"Yes, very honorable indeed."

The rambling echoed in his head. All the undeserved praises and lies…these fools knew nothing. Suddenly, their wordy conversation stopped and he saw them all look up at him expectantly, as if they wanted him to say something. He had to restrain himself from speaking his mind about his father to these halfwits. After all, he was trying to get over his past now. He shouldn't feel so bothered by what people said about him anymore.

"Y-Yes…very honorable," he spat distastefully, hoping his lie would appease them. It seemed to do so as the women continued to blabber. Wanting to ignore them and overwhelmed with anger, Satoshi quickly stopped another waiter for a drink before feeling the soothing liquid rush down his throat once more.

* * *

Risa watched as Satoshi sought drink after drink, calling for the waiter many times. She knitted her eyebrows in worry as he put down his current empty glass, the red wine consumed in just two sips. She hadn't taken Satoshi to be quite the drinker, yet he seemed absolutely fine. His face was even. His eyes were seemingly content. Yet, despite how sober he seemed, something was still a bit off and Risa was definitely alarmed.

For one thing, he hadn't spoken a word to her all night. For another, he seemed so…dead inside.

When she saw him call for yet another drink she touched his arm urgently. "Satoshi," she said slowly. "I think that's enough. How many have you had?"

"Nonsense," he said, his voice dark. "I'm absolutely fine."

"But Satoshi–"

Suddenly a loud voice called for everyone's attention after the orchestra momentarily stopped playing. Chief Kurosawa was standing in the middle of the dance floor, all eyes watching him. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are all here tonight to honor a very special man. A man who aided the growth of our small townships. A man who gave his all for his friends, neighbors, and citizens. Hiwatari Kei."

A hush sounded as people all around the room silenced, listening to the small speech. As they did, they all seemed to momentarily glance at Satoshi who sat there, numb to it all.

"Tonight I'm pleased to say that the late Hiwatari Kei's only family, his son, has come. It took a great deal of strength for Chief Hiwatari Satoshi to come out here tonight. Even after many years after his father's death, I'm sure that deep down, Chief Hiwatari is still grieving." A murmur caught among the people as they pitied the young blue-haired man. Kurosawa also looked at Satoshi sympathetically. "Would you like to say a few words tonight, Chief Hiwatari?"

Risa's eyes widened and she tried to clutch onto her companion's arm. "S-Satoshi, don't. I don't think it's a good idea," she advised, her voice below a whisper. However, he had roughly pulled away from her and headed towards Kurosawa. Everyone's eyes turned to him as he walked up slowly and calmly took the microphone.

He cleared his throat a few times before he looked blankly at the floor beneath him, trying to avoid people's gazes. "Hiwatari Kei was…certainly a great influence to us all," he started, his voice dark and quiet. "It seems as if everyone here thinks very highly of him…"

He looked up suddenly and saw the crowd's faces. Sympathy oozed from each and every one of their stares. They pitied him. They felt sorry for his loss.

Damn them for being so stupid.

The fire erupted inside of him as he felt the alcohol finally taking control. He unleashed his harbored feelings, suddenly speaking without thinking.

"…and everyone who does think highly of him is also certainly very brainless." An obvious and surprised gasp tore through all of the attendees at the insult. Risa watched as Satoshi's face contorted into one of anger and she felt her stomach tie into a knot. "Hiwatari Kei was _not_ worthy of your praises. He was a self-seeking bastard who only used people for his own benefit," he continued relentlessly, spitting his adoptive father's name with malice. "He did not die in his line of work in an honorable manner. He died trying while greedily trying to achieve his own gains. And I for one am utterly ecstatic that the despicable man has left this world, for the world is a better place without him." While murmurs arose and Kurosawa struggled to finally tear the microphone out of Satoshi's hand, the blue haired man held up his glass of wine, giving a dark, almost sinister, smile. "A toast to the death of Hiwatari Kei."

Without another moment to lose, Risa quickly ran up to him and took his arm as he downed yet another glass. Pulling him along sharply, she ignored the comments and stares as she rushed him out of the building.

* * *

Sighing, Risa closed the door behind her, entering Satoshi's dim apartment. He had already strolled in and collapsed on the nearby loveseat couch in front of his rarely used television. Staring at him, she stayed by the door, unable to see his eyes in the darkness. He wasn't looking at her. In fact, he wasn't looking at anything. He was staring into the air, a blank expression on his face.

His companion felt her heart go out to him. Something about the tone in his voice during his (for lack of a better word) speech disturbed her. In his voice he held so much anger…as well as pain, despair, and utter loneliness. His anger and his insults hadn't stemmed from an unreasonable grudge or even hatred. They had stemmed from a sadness that was just too overwhelming for him to bear.

Risa opened her mouth to try to say something for the hundredth time since they had left the party. But just like when she was driving him home, she couldn't think of anything consoling to say. And similarly, he didn't seem to know what to say. Well…either that or he was still too drunk to think straight.

The Harada twin moved silently in the dark, taking a seat next to him. Tentatively, she looked up into his vacant blue eyes, feeling utterly helpless. What could she possibly do or say to make him feel better? Furthermore, she didn't want to force him into talking either. The last thing she wanted to do was make him talk about his past, something that he wasn't ready to do, something that he was much too scared to do.

Sighing, she laid a hand on his back, scooting closer to his side. At her touch, he seemed to have flinched, coming back to reality. Satoshi was thinking a little bit clearer now. His head wasn't as fueled by his emotions. He shook his head slightly and weaved a hand through his hair.

"A-About the party…I'm sorry…I…that wasn't…"

"It's okay," she assured, her voice gentle.

But no, it wasn't okay. He had exploded in there. He hadn't been able to handle it. He hadn't been able to handle being reminded of his father so much. Risa didn't need to see that. She shouldn't have seen that.

"I thought I could handle it," he said, his voice low and coarse. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Risa urged sincerely, leaning her head against his arm. "Believe me. It's okay."

It was silent a long time. Minutes passed on the digital clock nearby as the two sat there, lost in their own thoughts.

Suddenly, Satoshi spoke once again, his voice even lower than before. He had turned to her and she stared past his glasses and into his eyes, sapphire seas of endless emotion. "My father…he was…he adopted me."

Risa, although surprised, shook her head slightly, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Satoshi, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I want to." And he did. He was more ready than ever to be vulnerable to her. He was ready to risk everything. Because now, he truly knew that the only way to get over and forget his past was through talking to her. She would make it better. She was the only one who could. After all, she has experienced a past that was just as lonely as his. Granted, she had experienced something very different. Yet it all amounted to the same thing.

They had been used by people that they had thought they could love.

Risa only nodded hesitantly, her eyes still narrowed in worry.

Satoshi gave a sigh, his face aging before Risa's very eyes. "My mother died right after giving birth to me. She was a Hikari, the infamous family that has been creating powerful, cursed artwork for centuries. Daisuke's family, the Niwas, have been stealing the artwork of the Hikaris for centuries through their own sort of family secret." He glanced at her questioning eyes, somewhat hesitant to explain.

"Dark," she said evenly, not even fazed. She had been told by Daisuke a long time ago about the basics of their two different families.

He nodded, before he continued. "Hiwatari Kei…" His voice wandered at the name and his hands balled into fists. Blue eyes narrowed dangerously. However, Risa patted his arm, which immediately calmed him. "Hiwarari Kei…was a man obsessed with the Hikari artwork and their powers. Knowing that I was the last Hikari…he thought…he thought I would be able to create new artwork just as powerful and immense as the artwork my ancestors have made before me. Thus, he adopted me." His eyes fell and Risa's heart stung at the sight of his despair. "But I turned out to be a failure of a Hikari. I can't design anything that hasn't been made before. It's like…the power to the Hikari artistry has been lost to me. And he hated me for that."

He didn't know how to explain the next parts, when his adoptive father realized Satoshi's lack of skills. He couldn't describe how worthless he felt when his father – the only family he has ever known or ever will know – rejected, shunned, and even despised him. The man was absent for most of Satoshi's life, carrying on with work or his obsession with the Hikari artwork by himself. And throughout his life, Hiwatari Kei was able to make himself look like the good guy – a single man adopting a boy out of the goodness of his heart, a hardworking man who always managed to have a friendly smile on his face, a man who was able to climb in society through honest work. People didn't know how Satoshi had gone days without seeing or talking to his father during his childhood, left to fend for himself at a young age. People didn't know that behind it all, Hiwatari Kei was a disgusting man who loved nothing but his obsession.

"Yet…" he continued, almost in a solemn daze, "I tried so hard…to make him notice me." And it never worked. Not once. "I wanted him to be there. I wanted…a father. And after so many years…even with him finally dead…I think I still…want – _need_ – one."

Unable to speak, he bowed his head in the darkness, suddenly feeling utterly alone. Remembering how he had been such a disappointment, remembering his father's sharp glares made him feel so helpless.

Risa felt herself grow numb during his story. In every word that came out of his mouth, she could feel the cold, stark solitude of his childhood. It was something that she would never understand, having such a vibrant childhood full of laughter. She had always had Riku or her friends. Satoshi had no one. His cold attitude when she had met him at school was suddenly understandable.

She slowly reached for his face and took off his glasses in a swift motion. Caressing his cheek, she looked up at his eyes sincerely, wanting him to forget that sorry excuse of a father. Although she couldn't relate to being scorned and hated by her family, she could relate to something that was similar. Being used and played by someone who you loved was the same no matter what situation.

"Listen to me, Satoshi," she whispered, her soft fingers caressing his cheek. This time, without his glasses or his emotional wall blocking her view of his true self, she realized just how lonely he has been all this time. It was a loneliness that was beyond words. "You don't need a father," she said sternly. "You don't need Hiwatari Kei. You never did. All you need is someone to be there for you, to care for you. And you have one now. You have me."

He looked down at her determined brown eyes, still somewhat skeptical. After all, things can change between them. Their relationship was sometimes so complicated. There was still a chance that–

"Things will _never_ change," she suddenly said, as if reading his mind. In fact, she was reading his eyes like a book. "Not now. Not after everything. Not after how much I realized that I _want_ to be there for you, just as much as you were there for me." Her face had inched closer so that he could feel her breath on his face. She looked at him desperately, pouring her feelings into words. "There's something about us, Hikari Satoshi…We need each other."

And he knew that this one fact was indeed true. "Risa…"

Slowly, she had inched herself even closer to his face, her eyes half-lidded but still so full of honesty. Although he had expected her lips to gently collide with his, the touch still jolted him, almost causing him to flinch at the sensation. And all at once, he knew that Risa's words were from her heart. She poured everything inside herself into that one simple gesture of love, just as she often openly poured her heart and soul to him even before they realized their feelings for each other. The kiss invigorated him, made him feel strong. Every doubt, every shadow of his past had dissipated, leaving only an indescribable feeling of…completeness.

He let his body react to her as his eyes slowly shut, his mind still whirring. His kisses were rough and bruising, as if he was releasing years of his emotions onto her fragile lips. Soon their tongues were colliding and their hands were roaming freely, his rough hands gliding along her sides and back and hers wrapping around his neck and playing with his locks of blue hair. He let out a low groan when her lips met the base of his neck. The groan only encouraged her as she began to find his sensitive spots with her lips.

It was while she was nibbling a spot that was slightly below his ear when a deep growl ripped from his throat. Suddenly, she had been pushed down on the loveseat cushions, her breath knocked out of her. She was surprised yet pleased as she realized that Satoshi was on top of her and ravaging her mouth with his. Somehow during their ardor for each other, Risa had been able to unbutton and slip off Satoshi's vest and dress shirt from his body without him noticing and roamed her agile fingers across his chest and back, feeling the contours of his muscles. And unconsciously, Satoshi had slowly been inching his right hand up her exposed, supple thigh when her dress had been slightly lifted. It was when Risa's deft fingers had found themselves unbuckling his belt that he stopped himself.

He sat up quickly panting hard, leaving Risa feeling disappointed when his warmth lifted off of her. He ran a hand through his tousled hair, looking at Risa in desperation. His desire was threatening to overtake his entire body, and her disheveled but attractive hair, her bruised lips, and her dress's straps slipping from her shoulders didn't help at all.

She followed him as she too sat up, her brown eyes whining. Satoshi looked at her uncertainly, his breathing still quick. "Risa…Isn't…Isn't this going a little fast? Besides, the alcohol's still in my system and–"

Frowning, Risa went closer to him and laid a hand on his bare chest, interrupting him mid-sentence. The heat from her touch only stirred him all the more. "Satoshi…"

Before he knew it, her lips were working on his neck again. He felt the rumble erupt from her throat as she moaned. Her lips made their way across his chest and neck, tempting him, and finally found themselves in that same sensitive area of his neck, right below his ear.

"But…I need you, Satoshi…" he heard her whisper as she continued to nibble.

Rhyme and reason disappeared. Grabbing her petite body, he easily lifted her off her feet, carrying her princess style towards his bedroom as he kissed her. Clumsily opening the door and then closing it with his foot, he dropped her on his bed, rumpling the already rumpled sheets.

"And I need you…" he breathed. He needed her more than she would ever know.


	14. Realizing

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By: **pnaixrose

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel or its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 14: **Realizing

He awoke to the brightness of the sun peeking through his window blinds.

The first thing he was aware of was indescribable warmth in his arms. He was cradling something, something that he instinctively cherished as it lay against his bare chest, moving slightly as it breathed peacefully. Realization finally hit him even before he opened his calm blue eyes. He held Risa closer, groaning a bit in protest, not wanting to wake up. He was almost afraid that waking up meant making this wonderful dream disappear.

As he finally did open his eyes, her sleeping figure was the first thing he saw. Fair skinned and angelic, her face was serene as it cuddled up against him, her hands up against his chest. He couldn't help but give a small smile as he stared at her, remembering last night's events.

Then came that slight, annoying pounding in his head. He moaned quietly, momentarily holding his head with a free hand. That was his consequence for drinking so many glasses of wine last night. However, the headache was easily ignorable. After all, he usually didn't get intense hangovers.

The headache was even more insignificant when he thought back to last night. Despite having drunk many glasses of wine last night, every kiss, every sensation, every warm contact that their bare skins had experienced, every groan, every time her face had contorted into an expression of pure pleasure was still vibrant in his mind. It had been…utterly amazing…

…All four times.

Sighing, Satoshi pulled Risa closer, never wanting to move. Staring at her content face, he realized that he wanted it to be like this always. He wanted to only have to think about her and her well-being for the rest of his life. He wanted to be able to hold her like this whenever he wanted. He wanted to wake up next to her after a passionate night.

Last night had been the only time when he had been so in tune with someone. It had been the only time when somehow, he felt so complete and needed that he forgot about everything else. It was an amazing feeling to be needed and loved. He felt as if…he was worth something…that he could live happily if Risa just loved and needed him as much as he loved and needed her. And now that he had been vulnerable for her and had revealed his past to him, all his fears had disappeared. He had been stupid to think that she would hurt him or use him. They were too similar…they knew what it felt like to be used and thrown away. That's why they were so perfect for each other. That's why they completed each other.

He brushed his lips lightly against her forehead and she stirred slightly, scrunching her nose cutely. However, she quickly settled into sleep again, finding comfort in his arms. He almost laughed aloud at her action. Gently, his fingers caressed her face, brushing stray locks of brown hair away from it. He leaned down to kiss her again, this time on her lips. It was slow and emotion-filled and as he reluctantly pulled away, Risa smiled slightly in her sleep.

Her lips parted in a low moan, sending a tingle down Satoshi's spine. She stirred again before uttering a single word from her mouth.

"Dark…"

Satoshi's body suddenly grew cold until he could feel nothing at all. A deep knife plunged into his body, ripping into his heart.

He stared at her closed eyes in shock, the single name reverberating in his mind.

How could she…?

He quickly threw the covers off of him, slipping on his boxers and nearby sweat pants that were on the floor. He was frantic as he paced the room, trying desperately to calm down to no avail. His eyes avoided Risa's sleeping figure at all cost.

After everything, after spilling his heart to her, after thinking that she would be the only one who understood him, even after…last night…

…her heart still lay with Dark.

A murmur broke his thoughts as he looked to Risa's wakening form. He was hardly breathing as she sleepily opened an eye through the brightness, clutching the bed sheet close to her body. In confusion, she peered around the room, her hair disheveled.

"S-Satoshi?" she asked, being awakened by his sudden movement off of the bed. She had felt so cold when he had pulled away. "Is something wrong?"

The sight of his defeated form startled her. He was hunched, his upper body bare, as he leaned against the wall, looking at her carefully. However, what mostly startled her were his blue eyes. They were so empty…so…hurt. What had happened?

Slowly, his pained expression melted into a furious glare. Her body froze as she realized that he was indeed angry with her. It was a look that she had never seen, never even dreamed about. She felt her stomach drop.

Did he think that…last night was a mistake? Last night…which she had thought had been so amazing and remarkable? Last night from which she _still _felt the effects…from which her mind was still in a whir? Was she mistaken that he felt the same?

"Satoshi…what's wrong?" she asked, a little desperation in her voice.

"I thought you let him go," he growled, his body shaking with anger. "I thought you weren't thinking about him anymore."

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about–?"

"You said Dark's name in your sleep!" he yelled in fury, his eyes darkening as he took a dangerous step toward the bed. She swore that she could feel the air crackle with the tension.

Her eyes widened at the accusation. "Wh-What?"

"Is that what you were thinking about all this time?" he continued lividly. "_Him_?"

"N-No!" Risa exclaimed, getting up from the bed, the sheets still wrapped around her body. "Satoshi I–"

"Was our time together nothing to you? After everything we went through…after last night…" His eyes darkened, mixing with both anger and hurt. He looked away suddenly, staring at the carpeted floor. "Y-You were…thinking about him…last night. You pictured him…instead of me, didn't you?"

"No!" she insisted desperately. How could he even think that? The only one who had been on her mind was Satoshi! "Of _course_ not! Dark is out of my life, Satoshi! I-I don't think about him, don't picture him…I don't have anything to do with him anymore!"

"Unconsciously you were–"

"I was _sleeping_, Satoshi! I…I don't know why I…"

Her voice drifted off as they stared at each other from opposite sides of the bed. He glared at her with so much hurt and anger that she literally felt his pain. She slowly shook her head trying desperately to make him understand. However, she could find no explanation. She didn't understand it herself.

Why would she say Dark's name when undoubtedly, the only one on her mind was Satoshi?

The only one was Satoshi…right?

Desperately trying to control his rage, he breathed slowly, looking at Risa's pleading face, her disheveled hairdo from last night's ball gently falling down her face. She sure seemed sincere. But that only proved one thing.

Somewhere deep in her heart, Dark still held an important place. No matter how much she didn't think about Dark or want Dark anymore…she still ultimately loved him.

An unconscious love. It would have hurt less if she had been consciously thinking of him all this time. How was he supposed to win against a man that would always hold a place in her heart no matter what?

It just made him so…furious. It made him feel like a fool for telling her about his childhood. It made him feel like a fool for falling in love with a woman who would always be in love with a bastard, even if she didn't _want_ to love him anymore.

His palms threatened to bleed as his nails dug into them. His light blue eyes had turned a dangerous dark azure. He had trusted her. He had thought she loved him as wholeheartedly as he loved her. He had pictured their futures together. He had even opened up to her…telling her the one thing that plagued him for years. And she…she just…rips out his heart!

Damn it! It just hurt so much…

"Satoshi…" she said softly, feeling pained as she saw his pain in his eyes. "I-I'm sorry…it doesn't mean anything, okay?"

Before he could even open his mouth to speak, the door bell rang, jarring them both. The tension still high, they stared at each other, not really caring too much about the surprise visitor.

She knew she hurt him. She had hurt him badly. But what was she supposed to do? It was in her sleep for god's sakes! She had no control over it!

But why had she said Dark's name in the first place, even if it was in her sleep? He was out of her life. She hadn't thought about him for days, not since she realized how much Satoshi meant to her.

The doorbell rang persistently again. When neither of them moved, it rang a few more times, almost anxiously. After the sixth time, Satoshi sighed and stalked out of the room without another word, leaving a silent Risa to watch him disappear as he closed the bedroom door behind him. Maybe a distraction would be a good thing right now. Maybe it would clear both of their heads.

* * *

Clad in nothing but sweatpants and his blue hair utterly ruffled, he opened his apartment door sharply, his welcoming voice piercing. "Who is it–?"

He abruptly stopped as he saw his guest standing before him. Golden locks. Hazel eyes. Lips in a tight line.

She looked up at him hesitantly, looking almost scared. "S-Satoshi…"

He sighed as he regained his bearings from his initial surprise. He really didn't need this right now…_especially_ not with Risa in the next room.

"Kimura," he responded in a monotone voice, "what are you doing here?"

The poor woman faltered under his icy glare, which seemed even icier than usual. "I-I thought I'd drop th-the flowers. They're all outside in the hallway and–"

"There was never an agreement that you would drop them here. You were supposed to call Risa."

"But I–"

"Leave, Kimura."

The flower lady took a deep breath and defiantly looked up at his glare. She would get through to him. She had to. He couldn't just treat her like that. "Satoshi–"

"Don't call me that!" he snarled angrily, wanting to close the door on her face.

She glared right back, ignoring him. "Satoshi, you never gave me an explanation."

He scowled at her as she took a step into the apartment. "I told you again and again that there was nothing between us."

Her heart ripped at his words but she took another step into the apartment, pushing him back. "After months of being together, you can't just drop a woman with no explanation!"

"We were not–"

"And then after telling me that you never want to see my face again, you show up again at my flower tent!" she said, her voice trembling. "I'm confused, Satoshi!"

"It wasn't to see you!" he yelled coldly.

"Just give me an answer! What was I to you all this time? Did you have no feelings for me at all?"

"Kimura–"

Suddenly, Kimura Misaki caught his lips in hers and felt a warmth flow through her. She still loved him. Despite all his coldness and harsh words…there had to be a strong reason that he had come back to her tent that day. She had been angry and confused that day, but she realized that surely, he still had feelings for her. The past few months of seeing each other and those nights when she had spent with him in his bed…surely they meant _something_ to him. Her arms wrapped his neck in a familiar intimacy, deepening the kiss, finally feeling fulfilled.

But she cried out as he roughly ripped her off of him as he took a step back. At the same time, they both heard a voice that was new to the current situation.

"What the hell is going on here!"

Misaki's hazel eyes widened at the sound. Standing at the entrance to Satoshi's bedroom was a familiar brown haired woman wearing nothing but underwear and a man's dress shirt, undoubtedly Satoshi's. Harada Risa. Her arms were crossed and her hair was disheveled as she looked at the scene with intense fury. Suddenly, things started piecing themselves together as Misaki's gaze turned to Satoshi.

Realization dawning on her, Misaki knew that the reason he had stepped foot in the flower tent was for that wedding planner. He had said her first name just a few minutes ago and Satoshi _never_ called a woman by her first name, not even her. He had also known that she hadn't called Harada-san about the flowers.

Misaki felt like a fool. Clearly she had been replaced.

Meanwhile, Risa was in hysterics as she looked to and from the two other occupants of the room. She felt her whole body boil with jealousy as she tried to keep herself composed. "Satoshi, would you kindly explain why you and Kimura-san were just on top of each other just now?" she asked, her voice rising.

"Risa–"

"Harada-san," Misaki suddenly choked, tears streaming down her face and long, golden hair trying to cover her distraught expression. Risa was surprised to be addressed by her, too surprised to be angry. What was even more curious was that there was such a sincere look in the flower vendor's eyes. Risa actually pitied her. "Let me give you a piece of advice. Stay away from this jerk…b-because even though you give him _everything_…once another woman comes along…he'll just…"

Risa's eyes widened at the words as the other woman choked on a sob and stormed out of the apartment, closing the door behind her with a deafening slam.

A tension much too intense to describe filled the room. Risa was quietly taking in Kimura-san's words as her eyes caught with Satoshi's. Her breath quickened as she realized just what had happened. Her brown eyes quickly glazed over with anger and jealousy. But mostly, she was angry. And not at Kimura Misaki. At Satoshi.

"You…You and Kimura-san…"

Satoshi took a step towards her, wanting to calm her. "It isn't what you think."

"Then what is it?" she snarled, her body rigid. She stepped up to him dangerously and looked at him defiantly. "Look at me straight in the eye and tell me that you and Kimura-san didn't…have relations…"

As soon as she saw the slight twitch in his eyes, she knew that it was true. Infuriated, she turned on her heel to look at the wall, unable to look at him any longer.

"But Risa listen to me–"

"How long have you been seeing her?" she said, her voice accusing.

"Risa–"

"How long!"

Satoshi sighed at her stubbornness. "A few months…but we–"

She turned sharply and stalked into the bedroom. Tears were threatening to fall down her cheeks as she scoured the room for her dress and belongings.

However he was quick on her heels. "I _don't_ have feelings for her, Risa! I never have and I never will!"

"Well she surely had feelings for you!" she yelled as she finally found her dress kicked under the bed.

"Well I didn't!"

She turned to look at him, her eyes already starting to tear. "So what? You stayed with her all that time? For _months_? And you didn't have feelings for her?"

"Risa," he said desperately, "honestly…yes. When Daisuke and Riku got engaged…they were so happy…and I…I-I tried to…I tried to…move on too." He looked sadly and guiltily in her wet eyes. "I wanted to…forget my past…I wanted to be happy like Daisuke and Riku…" His eyes darkened. "I didn't want to be alone anymore!"

But Risa simply narrowed her eyes and picked up her dress. "Well you sure as hell weren't alone for all these months!" Suddenly, a sickening thought crept into her mind. "When was the last time that you guys…" She gulped at the thought. "When did she last…come here…?"

"Risa!" he yelled in frustration at Risa's implication. He came to face her, holding her arms tightly and looking deeply into her hurt eyes. "Kimura and I are _nothing_, okay? We never _were_ anything really. We–"

She glared at him evenly as she interrupted him once again. "_When was she last here_!" she said through gritted teeth.

Satoshi saw her determinedness and anger and he narrowed his eyes. "It doesn't matter."

"I was already here wasn't I?" she said, knowing it was true. Her body was shaking uncontrollably. "What is it? A few days before I arrived? Possibly you saw her right before my plane touched ground?"

His silence was all the answer she needed. Letting something between a choke and a growl escape her throat she pulled away and slapped him across the face. How could she be stupid? Did she really think that the condoms they had used last night had only been for her?

He let the sting settle as he stood there in shock. But staring at her defiant eyes, his frustration returned full force.

"Risa! Why are you angry with me!" he demanded, grabbing her by her arms again and holding her in place so that she would look at him. "We weren't even together back then! That was the past! This is now! And _now_ I realize that it's _you_ that I need to feel complete! Besides, it makes me angry and jealous as hell thinking about this, but surely you've had relations with men in the past in Tokyo!"

But she was silent as she looked up at him, teary-eyed. He was, for lack of a better word, surprised as he realized what her silence meant.

"N-No," she said, eyebrows furrowed in anger and embarrassment. "No I didn't! I couldn't! No matter how many men I tried to date, Dark was always on my mind!"

Satoshi looked at her quietly. Then…he had been…?

"Yes!" she cried out, answering his inward question. "You were my first! And now I'm damned angry that you were!"

She ripped out of his grip as she slipped off his dress shirt and shimmied into her dress in one fluid motion. Quickly and clumsily zipping up the zipper in the back, she was fuming with rage and brimming with embarrassment when he suddenly embraced her from behind.

It felt warm. It felt nice. And as he wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered into her ear, she almost listened to him.

"I'm sorry, Risa," he said quietly, his breath tickling her neck. His head was leaned against hers. "But please…listen to me. You're the only one I ever should've been with. I know that. But when I didn't have you…you don't understand how alone I felt. And even when I tried to let someone in, I _still_ felt alone. I _still_ couldn't be as happy as I am now with you."

After a few minutes with him silently embracing her from behind, his heart shattered as she roughly pulled away. Defeated, he simply stood there staring at her turned back. What could he possibly do to make her see that even though he had been with Kimura Misaki, living life without Risa had been just as hellish as the rest of the twenty some years of his life? Risa was the only one who made him feel complete. No one could have taken her place. The only person who would be able to heal him had been Harada Risa all along.

"Risa," he said quietly to her turned back. "I wasn't even with you. You haven't been here for a good seven years. You can't call that cheating. You can't accuse me of treating you badly. If I had known that you would come to me…that you would be in my life…I would have waited. But I…I just…had to try…"

Hearing those words, she knew he was right. She knew she was being unreasonable. But just the way he had acted these past few weeks had implied that _she_ had been the only woman for him. She hadn't even considered that he would even look at other women, even if they had come before her. She had just…assumed that she had been the first woman he had ever been with…both emotionally and physically. She had _wanted_ to be the first woman he had ever been with.

However, denying that she knew he was right, she angrily whipped around to face him. "So you tried. And you said you didn't feel anything for her still, correct?"

"Yes."

"So you still stayed with her."

Satoshi sighed. "I know it was wrong but I thought that–"

"You know what I think?" she said spitefully, her eyes looking pained at the same time. "I think that Kimura-san was right. You play this game. You play the mopey, handsome, mysterious, bad boy who has a secret past. The man that every woman falls for. Then you slowly reel them in until you have them. But once you have your fun, you drop them as soon as another victim comes along." Her eyes narrowed. "I bet you tell that bullshit story about your father to every girl," she spat.

His eyes widened at her. He felt like he had just gotten slapped in the face again, except this hurt way more. His expression slowly contorted into one of pain then anger. "Y-You really think…that I…I do that? That I play women like that? That I played _you_?" His voice deepened in hurt. "You think that I tell _everyone_ about my father! The only person I've ever told was you!"

"Bullshit! That was just another step to get to me. And you know what! It worked! Your damn plan worked!" Cheeks wet with streams of tears, she glared at him. "I-I should've never trusted you! You know, I expected this from Dark! Not you!"

A deep growl exploded from his throat as his anger came full force. "God damn it! There you go with that bastard again! You're still so deep in your past, even _unconsciously_ you think about him! At least I tried to forget my past! You're so pathetically weak that even through all these years of not having him, you _still_ wish you did, even when you're with another man!"

After his tirade, they looked at each other, their faces just inches apart. It was silent for more than a few minutes as they continued to simply glare. They saw the obvious hurt in each other's eyes and Satoshi wanted to take back his horrible words. However, their own anger and pain blinded them both.

Risa finally spoke, her words slow and clear. "I'm not falling for your tricks anymore. I'm not going to get used by _anyone_ anymore," she said quietly. Then her eyes hardened at him. "You know, if that story of your father is true…then you're not really too different from him. You tried to use Kimura, just like he tried to use you. But you failed, just like he did."

His teeth grinded together as he watched her stalk out of the bedroom, flinging the door aside, and out of the apartment. However, before she slammed the door behind her, she gave one last comment that tore at his heart. "Goodbye, _Hiwatari._"

* * *

Tearful sobs echoed off the walls of the Harada mansion. Even with her bedroom door closed and her face buried in pillows, Risa's anger and pain couldn't be masked. Thank goodness no one was home.

She tried desperately to stop all this pitiful crying. All this wasted water amounted to nothing after all. In the end she would still feel the same.

She would still feel like someone had driven a knife through her heart.

So many things between them had been said, a lot of them meaningless and intending only to hurt the other. She knew that. But she also knew that deep down in their accusations, some of what they said was true. And when she thought about it…all of Satoshi's accusations about her had been right.

Maybe she _was_ pathetically weak. She was too weak to forget about her first love, as immature as it had been. She was so weak that now that she had the man who would surely love her forever, she _still_ thought about Dark, even though it's unconsciously. And she was so weak that she refused to see that Satoshi actions with Kimura, as much as they made her angry, had been his way of trying to let go of his past. Something that she hadn't been able to do. Something that she hadn't even tried.

He was right. He was right and she was being an idiot. But what mostly angered her was that she just couldn't make herself apologize to him, as much as she knew she should. The thought of Satoshi holding another woman, lying next to her in bed…it just made her so angry. Yes, they hadn't been together at the time. Yes, he claimed that he didn't have any feelings for her. But she just…she was just too immature to let that go.

As selfish as it sounds, she wanted Satoshi to only be hers. No one else's. Not even if it was a person that was in his life before Risa realized that they were meant for each other.

She was so damn selfish. But she couldn't help it.

And now…now she had walked out of his life. She had said horrible things to him…things she hadn't meant…and he was gone…

Yet another sob broke from her throat. This time, it was the loudest of them all. Tears kept pouring, blinding her vision. Her heart was pounding and aching, as if it was warning her that it was in dire condition, which it was.

She hated how she wasn't mature enough to handle what had happened between Satoshi and her. She hated how she wasn't strong enough to let go of Dark.

She hated herself.

And suddenly, she was swept in a pair of dangly arms. Startled, she looked up to see a face identical to her own, looking down worriedly at her. Risa immediately tried to wipe away all the tears from her face.

"R-Riku! What are you doing here? I thought you had a busy schedule–"

Riku, still clad in her chef's hat and clothes, shook her head to shut her sister up. Seated on the bed, she wrapped her arms around her twin. "Risa, don't be stupid. I'm here for you."

Risa looked up at her sister in amazement with teary eyes. "H-How did you–?"

Riku only smiled. "Twin's intuition. Now, what happened?" she asked gently, taking in her twin's ruffled attire and disheveled hair. "Did something happen with Satoshi?"

The name made Risa's throat clog up. A fresh batch of tears found its way to her eyes and her vision blurred. Pained, she doubled over, burying her face in her sister's shoulder.

Riku felt her heart wrench and she patted her sister's back. "Shh…shh…it's okay…you don't have to say anything. Just cry…"

And that's what Risa did. She let out a few hours' worth of tears, saying nothing at all about the situation. And Riku stayed with her. Despite all the work she still had to do. Despite her employees who needed her guidance. Despite the angry client who was sure to have her head about today's late and ill-quality catering delivery. Despite that she had her own wedding to start preparing for tomorrow, not to mention tonight's rehearsal dinner.

Because when she felt that strange pang in her heart just about twenty minutes ago…it was a pain that she couldn't ignore. It was a pain that warned her that her twin was heartbroken. It was a pain that tried to let her know that Risa needed help.

And she would be there for her.

* * *

Hesitantly, Riku knocked on her sister's bedroom door. It had been a few hours since Risa had calmed down and had awoken from her tear-induced nap. The time for the rehearsal at the church and the dinner afterwards was nearing and Riku was unsure if Risa should attend it, despite the fact that she was the maid of honor and wedding planner.

Risa opened the door to see Riku clad in a beautiful, yet simple off-white cocktail dress, lined with golden lace. She forced a smile upon her face.

"Oh, Riku…you look beautiful…"

Riku smiled weakly at the compliment as she scanned her sister's attire. She too was dressed semi-formally in a black, high waist dress with a low back. However, the swollen, puffy eyes were a dead giveaway of her current emotions.

"You too, Risa…but…are you sure you…want to go still?"

No. No she didn't want to go. She didn't want to go anywhere that she might see his light blue hair and sky blue eyes.

But looking at her beautiful sister, she knew she had to. It was Riku's wedding tomorrow. And just as much as she had been there for her, now Risa had to be there for Riku.

"O-Of course, Riku," she said. Hiding her hesitance as she grabbed her black clutch, she gently pulled her sister towards the stairs. "Let's go okay?"

Of course, Riku could see right through her fake smile. She knew that whatever had happened between Satoshi and Risa was severe. She knew that her sister was really hurt, even if she did say anything about it. "But Risa…"

"C'mon!" her twin urged. "You don't want to be late, do you? Daisuke's waiting for us downstairs. And Mom and Dad are going to be there. I haven't seen them in ages!"

Sighing, going along with her sister's stubborn façade, Riku nodded and followed Risa down the stairs. In front of her, Risa was trying to brace herself from what was to come.

* * *

Satoshi's eyes narrowed as he spotted a familiar redhead approaching him as he stepped out of his car, letting the valet handle the parking. He felt kind of guilty that he was late. He hadn't even been able to go to the rehearsal at the church because he had been too exhausted and had taken a sudden nap. That fight with Risa…really wore him out…both mentally and physically.

But he _had_ to come to Daisuke and Riku's rehearsal dinner. Tonight and tomorrow would be entirely about them. He had to support them and wish them luck. After all, they had been the closest friends he has ever had…and would probably ever have.

…He would just have to somehow get through this night. Maybe the wedding planner/maid of honor wouldn't be present.

But he highly doubted that.

Daisuke approached him with a worried frown. "S-Satoshi, you really didn't have to come," he whispered as other guests filed into the restaurant. "I know why you weren't at the rehearsal tonight, Satoshi. I heard from Riku that you and Risa had a really bad fight…"

Satoshi sighed, trying to find his voice. "I'm here for you and Riku," he said, his voice almost inaudible. "I can't be so rude and not attend…I already feel guilty enough for falling asleep and missing the rehearsal at the church."

But Daisuke's eyebrows furrowed, seeing his friend's reluctance. "No, it's alright, trust me. But Satoshi–"

"I'm your best man, Daisuke. Now let me in the damn restaurant."

Daisuke looked after Satoshi's figure as he brushed past him. He was worried…he had never seen him so drained before…he had never seen Satoshi so…dead.

* * *

Risa sighed as she stopped the waiter and asked for a refill of her wine. She was feeling on edge tonight. During the rehearsal, she had stuttered and had looked totally unprofessional both as a planner and as a maid of honor. She had stumbled over words, had made people confused about where they should be, had forgotten a bunch of tiny details that would have to be smoothed over later on…it was horrible.

And Satoshi hadn't even been there.

She had initially thought, entering the church (the rehearsal replacement for the real wedding at the beach the next day) and seeing that the best man had bailed, that his absence would have calmed her. But instead, it did the opposite.

Now as she sat at her table alone sipping her wine, she watched as her parents and sister greeted the rest of the wedding party, beaming as they welcomed them. Risa felt guilty. As a member of the family, maid of honor, _and_ wedding planner, she should be mingling with the rest of them with a smile on her face as well. But she didn't have the heart to speak to people. She hoped that Riku and Daisuke wouldn't hate her after this…

But maybe Satoshi wouldn't even come to the dinner. He hadn't been at the rehearsal after all. And what kind of jerk would have ditched the rehearsal and only come to the dinner?

But she had thought those thoughts too soon.

A flash of blue caught her eye and her heart began pumping faster. She knew immediately who it was and instinctively looked away, burying herself with her wine and trying to blend in with the background. Oh, she wished she hadn't seen him. She wished he hadn't come.

However, she couldn't help but take a peek at him. From the periphery of her eyesight, she glanced at his tasteful dark blue dress shirt with black pants and his usual ruffled hair. Memories of their hurtful exchange of words flooded her mind. She began to feel the hate and anger towards herself all over again. But she also felt that stubborn pride that kept reassuring her that it wasn't entirely her fault.

Suddenly, they somehow caught eyes as she unconsciously turned her head towards him. Their eyes held for the longest minute of their lives. Both of them tried to keep their expressions blank and calm, as if they weren't bothered by the situation. But inside both of them were hurting. Both of them felt guilty. And both of them felt the sting of the painful truth the other had revealed.

Suddenly, Daisuke's voice was heard, asking the small group to please settle down in their seats before their meals were served. Risa finally broke the eye contact, picked up her wine glass and stalked away clumsily into the emptied garden. She felt badly that she was leaving the dinner just before Riku and Daisuke said their thanks for the whole wedding party, but she couldn't take it.

Satoshi had looked so…collected. As if he wasn't even bothered. As if he was so confident in his words that morning. As if he didn't need someone as "pathetically weak" as herself.

Seeing an unopened wine bottle at a nearby waiter's table, she grabbed it without thinking and silently slipped into the garden just as Daisuke's crazy parents decided to say an impromptu toast.

And throughout all this, Satoshi was the only one who was standing dumbly, just watching her cascading, wavy brown hair fluttered against her revealed back.

* * *

Risa had been alone in the garden for almost the whole dinner already. She hadn't eaten any dinner at all and she had missed Riku's, Daisuke's, and their families' speeches. Calmed down just a bit thanks to a second helping of wine, she was sure that the party was just about to end. After all, the voices were starting to fade and she was pretty certain that it was well past eleven now.

She was surprised that no one had bothered her in here. Surely it was Riku and Daisuke's doing, making sure that she wouldn't be pestered with any questions or annoying small talk. Or maybe it was because she gave an aura of "don't you dare come near me" and that's why barely anyone had talked to her tonight. But either way, she didn't care. She didn't want to see anyone.

And she was especially relieved that a certain blue eyed man hadn't come to follow her.

Taking a sip of her glass, she still felt the aching in her heart that she desperately tried to ignore. But every sip she took, it slowly but surely disappeared. She was thankful for the invention of alcohol. Really thankful.

Sitting on the furthest bench possible and hidden from view by a few bushes, she was surprised and irritated to hear footsteps coming towards her. Soon, a man from the wedding party came to view. She didn't know his name – nor did she care for the moment – but she knew he was one of Daisuke's groomsmen, one of his friends from work.

Trying to act cold, she gave him a hard stare as he sat down next to her, a sheepish but cute grin on his face.

"Harada Risa, right? Maid of honor and sister _and_ wedding planner?" he said genially, his long, raven hair reflecting the moonlight.

She simply nodded.

He flashed a toothy grin. "I'm Haru. Shimizu Haru. One of Daisuke's groomsmen."

She nodded yet again, trying to give him a sign that she wanted to be alone, but he seemed to be immune to her inapproachable aura.

"You seemed…kinda down at the rehearsal. Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine."

He let out a brief chuckle. "If you're so fine, then why do you have two bottles of wine next to you?"

She sighed, wanting to roll her eyes. "I just want to be alone for awhile…"

He was silent for awhile and she continued to just sip her wine at her previous slow pace. Suddenly, she felt him move closer to her, so that their bodies were touching. Startled, her breath caught as she turned her head to this stranger. A few rough fingers brushed her long hair away and slid across her exposed back. She should've felt uncomfortable. She knew deep in her jumbled mind that she should have. But for some reason she didn't. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the way her anger and pain from this morning made her unreasonable. But she welcomed how this stranger was touching her.

"You'll feel better," he started, his voice throaty as his breath blew against her ear, "if you _weren't_ alone. I'll even keep you company."

And that's when she realized that at that moment, she_ was_ desperate for someone else's presence. She wanted someone to fill that empty void that had come from walking out of Satoshi's life. She wanted to feel loved and needed again. She wanted feel someone else's warm body as she fell asleep in his bed.

She was messed up. She wasn't thinking straight. And she was so desperate for all these things that she would take anyone – even if it wasn't the one person who she _truly _wanted to be with.

Besides, there was something familiar about this guy. His dark hair. His piercing eyes. They reminded her of someone so very familiar in her mind. They reminded her of someone who had hurt her in the past…but someone who she was comfortable with.

Satoshi was right. She still thought about Dark.

But she loved Satoshi.

She was confused. And she wanted anything that would calm her bewildered mind…even if it meant spending a night with a stranger in a drunken state.

"Okay," she whispered.

The green light made Shimizu Haru smirk and he gently laid a hand on her thigh and squeezed it as he pulled in for a kiss, intent on bringing the Harada twin back to his apartment tonight.

* * *

Satoshi was sitting at a deserted table in the corner as Daisuke and Riku bid farewell to various members of their wedding party and told them about their excitement for tomorrow. Shamelessly, his eyes flickered over to the garden's entrance, just as they had been doing the entire night. Throughout the dinner, the toasts, the conversations, and the laughter, he had been glancing at the garden, thinking about that morning and wondering whether or not he should follow her in there.

It had been a disaster. So many things she had said had hurt him so much. Furthermore, he couldn't forget that she was still thinking about Dark, even while she was with _him_. He felt so worthless. He felt so used. And he felt like complete shit.

He knew that many of the things she had said were from her anger. But he realized that some things were indeed true. He _had_ used Kimura…and had continued to use her even when he realized that being with her didn't cure his loneliness. But to be compared to his father because of that…it cut him right to his core.

However, he knew that the words he had said hadn't been less hurtful. He knew by the pained look in her face before she left that morning that he really had hurt her. And he didn't feel proud about it. In fact, he felt like dirt. One thing he had never wanted to do was to hurt her. Not her. Not Risa.

He had to talk to her. Even though they were both angry at each other right now, someone had to step up and start talking. Otherwise…maybe he _would_ lose her forever. And he didn't want that. No…he _couldn't_ have that. Despite all the hurtful words they had said to each other, he still loved her. And he couldn't lose her. He would fix this. He had to.

Otherwise, he knew he would be worse off than before. After all, if things weren't resolved and ended like this, he would basically go insane knowing that he had let the one good thing in his life slip through his fingers.

Making up his mind, he stood, racking his mind for something to say. Suddenly, in his hesitance, he saw a tall man with dark hair slip quietly into the garden. Satoshi's eyes narrowed.

Something about that man didn't feel right.

* * *

Satoshi quietly walked through the familiar garden, eyes shifting as he tried to find that groomsman who had just entered a few moments before. Adjusting to the dim lighting, he spotted him sitting on a corner bench…with Risa.

The man's hand was squeezing her thigh with his other hand lying on the exposed skin of her back. And his face was slowly nearing hers as she simply sat there with a blank expression…as if she was allowing it.

His blood began to boil and he let out an involuntary growl of rage.

He'd be damned if he'd let any other man touch her like that. Especially if it was an asshole stranger like this one.

Before he knew it he was already pulling the man's shirt roughly, forcing him away from her and making him stand on his feet in front of him. Rudely interrupted, the man glared back at the fuming Satoshi.

"What the hell is your problem, Hiwatari?"

Satoshi roughly grabbed his collar, a snarl escaping his lips. "I'll tell you what _your_ problem is. Your problem is that you're going to be dead by the time I'm done with you," he threatened, his voice low. "So you'd better get the fuck out of here while I still have what little self-control I have."

Seeing the darkness in Satoshi's eyes, Shimizu Haru pulled out of his grasp and slowly headed towards the door. No woman was worth getting the chief of police angry. And it wasn't even the fact that Hiwatari Satoshi was chief of police that scared him. It was the fact that Hiwatari Satoshi was Hiwatari Satoshi that scared him.

When the jerk was finally out of sight, Satoshi turned to the quiet girl on the bench, eyes flashing. His vision was literally blinded by his anger. He couldn't even think straight now. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, Risa!" he said through gritted teeth. "You'd let any guy touch you like that? You'd let him take advantage of you?"

Standing, Risa faced his anger with just a smidge of her own. "Get of my case, Hiwatari! You shouldn't talk about taking advantage of women!"

His jaw clenched at the accusation and he restrained himself from acting on his anger. "Risa," he said, breathing deeply to try and calm himself, "I'm bringing you home right now."

"Like hell you will!" Risa shouted, her anger returning full force. The alcohol's effects were starting to take advantage of her now. She was beyond reasonable and all her thoughts about Satoshi being right had flown out the window. "I'll be going home with whatever man I want!"

A vein on the side of his head threatened to burst with all the blood that was racing through him. "Like that guy that just left?" Satoshi asked incredulously. His eyes narrowed. "Did _he_ remind you of Dark too?"

Risa's eyes darkened as she took a wobbly step towards him. "Why you sick, self-absorbed, womanizer…I'll–!"

"That's enough!"

Suddenly, just as her hand was about to strike his cheek, a stronger arm stopped her and pulled her away. She struggled and was surprised to see Daisuke holding her back securely. She hadn't even noticed that a few of the remaining guests, plus the guests of honor themselves, had crept into the garden to see what the commotion was.

Risa growled as she glared daggers at the blue haired man standing rigidly in front of her. "Let me go, Daisuke," she said dangerously. "I'm going to–"

"Stop it, Risa!" he pleaded. "You've drunk too much wine tonight. Don't say anything stupid!"

Riku stepped in between Satoshi and Risa, pushing Satoshi slightly farther away from her twin. She glanced at her fiancé. "Get her back home, okay?" she whispered worriedly. "I'll ask Satoshi to bring me home after the rest of the guests leave."

Daisuke nodded pulling Risa's arm as he hurried into the restaurant to exit to the parking lot. The entire time, Risa and Satoshi exchanged piercing glares as they were separated.

* * *

Risa had been sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace for the last ten minutes. Her mind was whirling with anger and impatience still and she was restless. Damn that Satoshi for being such a jerk. Like he had any right to swoop in and "save" her like that. He used girls before. Why couldn't she use guys in the same way?

Suddenly Daisuke entered the room, his face pulled in a worried frown. "I-I got you a glass of water," he said quietly as he placed in on the nearby table next to her. After an awkward moment, he sat next to her and placed a comforting hand on her back. "Drinking won't make things better between you and Satoshi, Risa. You know that."

She turned to face him, pulled by his sincere words. She knew he was right. She knew how stupid she was being. She hadn't acted so stupid since….

"R-Risa?" Daisuke said tentatively. "You're…crying…"

Suddenly, she broke down. Her head was spinning, her heart was aching, and she couldn't think straight at all. Through her sobs, she realized that Daisuke had somehow wrapped his arms comfortingly around her. However, she couldn't even stop crying long enough to pull away and save him from this embarrassment. Truthfully, she was happy that someone cared.

"He was right, Daisuke," she was blubbering almost incoherently. "I thought I've moved on from Dark…but I guess I haven't."

"It just takes time, Risa," he cooed.

"No. I'll always be hung up on him! I-I just need him back…"

Daisuke's ruby eyes widened in surprise. "W-What? But I thought that–"

Risa pulled away slightly from his now damp chest, tears streaking down her cheeks. "I love Satoshi. I do. But Dark…he's safe. He's familiar. Even when he's not here! I know what he's capable of. And I can handle it. I can take his disappointment over and over again. But Satoshi…he's so unfamiliar. I don't know if I can handle disappointment from him over and over. Especially if I know that the hurtful things that he says are right."

"You're just scared, Risa. But Satoshi's good for you. I know it."

Risa shook her head. "Please, Daisuke. Just get Dark back for me. I need him…"

"No you don't, Risa! You–"

Daisuke's eyes widened once again, this time in nervousness. Risa was staring straight into his eyes, with a determined, steady look in her eyes. A soft hand was laid on his cheek and he swallowed, pulling away sharply. "Risa, you've been drinking…and Riku and I–"

But she was beyond reason. Her mind had gone blank with nothing, but Dark. She pictured his long dark hair and piercing narrow eyes. And she needed him so badly. She realized that she would be stuck in a one sided love with him forever. But it was easier than facing reality, facing a chance for true happiness, facing Satoshi. After all, the unknown was scary. And she didn't know if she could handle any more of him.

Suddenly she was on top of Daisuke, straddling him on the couch. Her fingers were tangled in his fiery red hair as she pushed her lips against him. She could feel him trying to turn away, to try to gently pry her off of him. She knew deep in herself that this was wrong. But she wanted to go back to how things used to be so badly. She wanted Satoshi out of her life. She wanted Dark to fill her every thought. Because that was what she was used to. And although Satoshi had made her see true love…hearing his cutting words…and knowing they were true…just hurt too badly.

* * *

"She just needs time, Satoshi," Riku was saying as they climbed up the front steps. She was burying through her bag for the keys when he held out his copy in front of her. Thanking him briefly, she continued to lecture him. "I know things aren't easy right now and I know you guys have said a lot of things but–"

"But she still loves Dark."

Riku rolled her eyes. "No she doesn't. I've seen her talk about you and I've seen her talk about Dark. She loves _you_. With Dark…it was different."

"Then how do you explain–"

Riku sighed and turned to him with a sharp look. "Dark is in her past. Just like your past is part of yours, isn't it? But sometimes the past creeps back on you…even when you don't want it to. And it makes you do stupid things…like what she did today."

Satoshi was silent at her words. Feeling accomplished, Riku went back to opening the front door, which opened with a click.

"Can you bring in those flowers for me?" she asked, already halfway to the car. "I'm going to bring in the other things."

Stumbling in, deep in thought, Satoshi sighed as he put down the flowers next to the staircase. Maybe he should just everything go. He should accept that Risa had a past, just like he did. It'll take time but things would get better. He couldn't let her slip from his fingers…

Suddenly, he noticed that the fireplace was lit in the living room and he took a curious step towards the dimmed room.

Blue eyes widened. His blood began to boil hotter than ever, even when he saw Risa with that other guy. Something deep inside him was threatening to wrench his heart out of his body.

This…this was…

Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming up behind him. Shit...Riku!

"Satoshi, what's–"

"Wait, Riku–"

But her eyes had already widened with shock.

She rushed into the room and turned on the light, livid. "What the hell is going on!"

Taking advantage of Risa's surprise, Daisuke finally peeled her off, standing up in a hurry. He was panting and flustered, stammering as he tried to explain himself. "Riku! Riku, wait, this isn't–"

But she wasn't listening. She was staring straight at her twin who was finally starting to come to a realization. Risa looked up at her from the couch. Her eyes widened as she spotted yet another figure standing behind her sister.

…What the hell was she doing?

Her sister was getting married tomorrow…to the guy whom she had been shamelessly on top of. And her sister and the one guy that she loved – the one guy who completed her – had seen it all.

She stood, stumbling on her own two feet.

"R-Riku…S-Satoshi…I…"

She turned guiltily to her sister, intent on apologizing. However, the look on Riku's face was…indescribable. It wasn't necessarily angry. Neither was it especially saddened. It was completely blank. As if she didn't know what to do now. As if she had witnessed a bad memory from the past.

Satoshi, on the other hand, had a face full of expression. It was contorted in a pained scowl, yet something about it was distressing. It was as if he had been betrayed.

Risa felt like dirt. After everything that Riku had done for her. After Satoshi had opened himself up to her and loved her like no other…this is what she did.

She should've never come back. She only messed up their lives.

Fumbling, she stood, shaking her head in denial all the while. The others were silent as she looked between them, trying to find her words. But what could she say? What could she do? She messed up…again.

The only sound that left her throat was a sob before she pushed through them towards the front door. She didn't know where she was going. She didn't know what she was going to do. But she had to get out of here. Now.


	15. Marrying

**Snowdrops Are For Hope**

**By:** pnaixrose

**Disclaimer**: I don't own DNAngel or any of its characters.

* * *

**Chapter 15**: Marrying

The Harada-Niwa mansion was eerily quiet was dawn arrived. It was unsettling to Daisuke especially after all the yelling that took place between him and Riku the night before. He swallowed hard as he approached his own bedroom door, his eyes red with lack of sleep and with its fill of tears and his hair even more tousled with his frustration. After being kicked out of his own bedroom due to last night's events, he was forced to sleep – at least with the whole twenty minute worth of sleep that he actually received – on the living room couch. He wasn't surprised by that though. He was lucky that he still got to stay in the house.

Running a hand through his fiery hair for the umpteenth time, he stood in front of the door uneasily. He didn't know what to feel. Today was his wedding day. The happiest day that he will ever experience. He would finally be tied with his beloved for the rest of his life. It was the mark of beginning a family together. It was the sign that they had survived all kinds of trials and tribulations and still found love for each other.

At least…all of that was true until last night.

He was shaking as he held up a hand to knock on the door. After the exchange of many nasty words and after seeing and feeling Riku's heartbroken eyes for the _second time_ for the _same exact reason_…he was scared. Scared that she might refuse his hand in marriage on this supposedly happiest day in the world. He was scared that this was the last straw for her, that this had happened too many times for him to be forgiven.

Daisuke never thought he'd live to see the day that Riku would actually start hating him…stop loving him.

And he couldn't do anything about it. No matter how many times he had said he hadn't initiated anything with her twin sister or that he didn't feel anything at all for Risa…nothing he said mattered. He should've been more careful with that twin…should've understood that her situation with Dark and Satoshi made her reckless. He didn't hate her, of course. He knew that she was confused, hurt, and drunk…three powerful states of being that could cause you to do something stupid. But he couldn't help but think that maybe he had been wrong to try to bring the twins together again. Although for the past few days things had been going great for Risa, Riku, and even Satoshi…the unexpected always happens. And he out of all people should have known that.

Heaving a sigh, Daisuke lightly knocked on the door and was greeted with silence. Again he knocked. Silence once again.

Not knowing if she was even awake at this early hour, he cleared his throat and leaned his tired head against the door.

"Riku…I'm sorry…for hurting you…for everything. I really am. But in the end, I love you. Only you. Deep in your heart I know you know that. And you can take back all your love from me if you want. You can cancel this marriage if you want. But in the end, you know I'll still be here…loving you."

Those words were barely above a whisper. But he meant every single one. Even if she didn't hear him, even if she hated him, even if she never wanted to see his face again, even if she threw all those hurtful words again…he'd love her forever.

He wasn't surprised that he heard no response or no sign of consciousness on the other side of the door. He sighed yet again and started on his tread back down to the first floor. Although his heart was heavy, he just couldn't stop hoping that he'd be able to see Riku in her wedding dress walking down the aisle towards him later on that day. She loved him. He had felt her love all these years. They had given so much to each other, they had shared so much about themselves. He knew how much she loved him. Maybe it was just his optimistic nature, but he trusted in those feelings.

Suddenly, he stopped in mid-step as he heard a noise from behind the door. Heart stopping, he quickly whipped back around to see the door slowly opening to reveal a tired, sallow Riku still clad in last night's dress. Daisuke took in her mussed up hair, her tired, almost expressionless eyes, and her dark eye bags…and still, he thought she was the most beautiful being in the world. He held himself back from running and holding her in his arms, knowing that she probably wanted her space.

They looked at each other in the eye for what seemed like ages. She was giving nothing away by the look in her eye. For the first time in his life, he couldn't tell what she was thinking. And for someone who is as expression-filled and emotion-filled as Riku, it was nearly impossible _not_ to know how she was feeling.

So he just stood there, feeling cold. Not knowing what to say or do.

"Daisuke…" she whispered. And oh, how it felt good to hear her say his name. "I'll…I'll see you later."

And with that, she closed the door behind her.

His eyes wide, he stood there dumbly staring at the closed door. That mere phrase was all he needed. Even though it could have meant so many things, he knew in his heart that it meant that they'd see each other on their beach…with him waiting down the aisle and her walking towards him. He trusted in her and her love. He _knew_ she was going to be there. Those few words proved that she still was willing to give it another try.

And so there was nothing left for the groom to do except get ready and await her appearance.

* * *

Satoshi silently sat atop of his messy bed sheets, clad in nothing but a pair of sweatpants. Elbows heavily lying on his knees and head buried in his hands, he tried to get his last few memories of Risa out of his brain. Just as he had been trying to do all night.

He hadn't gotten much sleep after being curtly asked by Riku to leave her home last night. He had sped all the way home, had ignored all the lights, had slammed doors and punched walls. He just couldn't get the anger out of his system. He couldn't get the pain out of his chest. Now he didn't know what the hell to think. After his big fight with Risa, the anxious-filled night of Daisuke and Riku's rehearsal dinner, the sight of Risa with a random stranger, and the sight of…Risa with Daisuke, he felt…numb. He was numb with so much pain and anger that he almost didn't feel anything anymore.

But oh, seeing Risa on top of Daisuke like that…ugh. It tore at him. Tore at his very core.

He was beyond reasoning. He didn't want to get off of his bed. He knew that the wedding was most likely called off anyway. The fiery, hurt look of Riku's eyes last night confirmed that.

Look what that damn Harada did in just a matter of a couple of weeks. She had made a mess out of everything. Yes, they were not quite happy before Risa had returned. And yes, her appearance had caused all of them to become lighthearted, had touched Satoshi himself so much that he had opened his heart to her. But look at them now.

His cell phone rang and angrily, Satoshi answered. "What!" he growled.

"S-Satoshi…"

Satoshi's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. It was Daisuke, no doubt calling Satoshi that the wedding was off. Although Satoshi knew that Daisuke hadn't played a part in his actions with Risa last night, Satoshi couldn't help but feel a tinge of anger. Realizing that there was no point in getting mad at his best friend for something he didn't do, Satoshi sighed. "Look, Daisuke…I'm sorry how things turned out. If there's anything I can do to–"

"The wedding is still on, Satoshi."

Satoshi's eyebrow rose in surprise. "Riku is alright with the whole situation?"

His question was met with silence and he knew that Daisuke was just being his optimistic self. Daisuke still somehow thought he was going to get married today. Damn him for not seeing reality for what it really was.

"Daisuke, I know it's hard. But please don't get your hopes up. I don't think she–"

"As my best man, promise me you'll be there at my wedding."

This was ridiculous. There would be no wedding today. "Daisuke…"

"Promise me!"

And with that, Satoshi could do nothing else but sigh. Nothing would get through to the red headed Niwa anymore. And even though Satoshi was certain Riku was beyond consoling and that the wedding bells would not ring for them today, he wanted to be there for his grief stricken friend. Maybe he could try to convince him in person when all the guests start arriving and the bride is still not in sight.

"I'll be there."

* * *

She needed to get out of here.

All she had accomplished to do was ruin everyone's lives. They had all been content without her. They were living their lives and had been happy. But as soon as she had step foot back in her hometown she had ruined everything.

She regretted ever coming back.

And after staying in a hotel last night, Risa had made up her mind to finally run away from this place forever. No one needed someone who simple came to ruin their lives, turning them for the worst. And to tell you the truth, she knew no one would care at the point. She has already hurt everyone that cared about her. From Daisuke, to Riku…to Satoshi. There was simply no one left that would mind if she finally left their world forever.

So here she was…luggage in hand, sitting in the airport. Her plane was about to arrive in just a couple of minutes. Risa was going to head back to Tokyo empty-handed only to have her career stripped away from her. She anxiously looked at her watch after every second that passed. Even now, tears threatened to spill from her eyes although she willed them not to.

They all hated her. Even her twin sister. _Especially_ her twin sister.

How could she do that to Riku? Riku had never wanted anything in life except to be with Daisuke. She had never asked Risa for any favors, had never complained, and had always been there. She certainly didn't deserve this…

Risa sadly looked at the watch as she realized that it was almost time for the wedding to occur. One more hour. Riku and Daisuke would both be getting ready by now, probably nervous or excited or feeling a little of both.

…Not that the wedding was going to happen anymore. Because of _her_ doing.

Sighing, Risa felt relieved when she heard the intercom.

"Flight to Tokyo is now boarding. Again, flight to Tokyo is now boarding."

Hurriedly, she gathered her stuff and turned to the gate. Finally…she'd be able to get out of here.

"Running away again?"

At the voice, Risa gave a start and her eyes widened. She turned to the voice slowly, almost not believing that she had even heard it. And as she did turn, she spotted a sight that was almost unbelievable.

It was Riku. Eyes tired, hair undone, makeup not applied.

But in a beautifully fitted, white gown. Her wedding dress.

People were staring and whispering as they spotted the odd scene of a bride at the airport. It was not a scene that people saw too often after all. They were most probably conjuring up stories or scandals in their minds about it all. But Riku, as stubborn as she is, didn't seem to care.

"R-Riku! What are you...Why are you…?"

Riku slowly walked up her twin, eyes fiery with anger. Her right arm lifted, her palm balled into a fist. Risa winced at the pain that was sure to come and closed her eyes. She deserved it after all. She _was_ running away. Riku deserved to have this last moment of redemption.

But instead of blinding pain to the side of her face, all she felt was a gentle, slight bump on her head. She opened them, confused.

Riku was looking at her sadly. The anger had dissipated. All that was left was a mixture of hurt.

"I thought you said you'd be my maid of honor."

Risa's eyes widened. "Wait…the wedding is…?" She was greeted with a slight nod. No way! The wedding was still on? "B-But after all that I've done…!"

At those words, her twin simply looked sadly at the floor.

The silence hurt Risa. It hurt her to her core. And suddenly, the tears started spilling and she grabbed Riku's hand in hers. "Riku…I am _so_ sorry. I…I didn't mean to…Daisuke and I aren't…I'm just stupid and…I was angry…" The words became jumbled and incoherent as the tears and sobs only grew louder. "I'm sorry, Riku! Please…please believe me…"

After a minute, Riku gingerly held something before Risa's eyes. It was a tiny pressed flower, no bigger than her finger. Its tiny white blossom hung down and its stem was thin and delicate.

It was a snowdrop flower. Identical to the one she kept in her journal.

"Satoshi gave me this…all those years ago…" Riku said quietly. "That's when we started becoming friends, you know. That's when I realized he was a good person. I look at it from time to time…and I always feel better. He said that…snowdrops flowers symbolize-"

"-Hope," Risa finished. And her body grew stuff. Suddenly it became clear. That single snowdrop flower that had found its way to her windowsill on that day all those years ago…She had been thinking dreaming that it was Dark all this time. That he was going to return. That he had some sort of feelings for her.

It was Satoshi. From the beginning it had been him. The one who had left that little memento that had given her courage and hope. The memento that had allowed her to keep going.

Was from Satoshi.

"I know…that you and Daisuke don't have anything. I know that. And I know…I know how much you were hurting last night. I'm not sure about the details but…I could feel in my heart that it had been almost unbearable for you. That's why…I forgive you both for what happened."

Risa's eyes widened, her face stained with tears. "W-What? Why?"

Riku smiled a small smile. "Because in the end…you're my sister. And…I need you. We all do. Including Satoshi…_especially_ Satoshi…"

At his name, Risa looked downward. "He…He would never want to see me again. After all the nasty things I've said. After last night…"

"He's been through a lot, Risa. I'm sure you know better than me about how much he's been through. He's tried to move on with his life and forget all that's happened. But all this time…all he's ever needed was you. I don't know why you guys fought…but you both have to put each other's pasts behind yourselves if you want to be happy."

Risa knew that. She knew that all along. But her sister was right…they were just being stubborn. In reality…they not only wanted each other. They _needed_ each other.

Riku gave a genuine smile. "So…are you gonna help me put on my makeup already? You already know I'm hopeless at that stuff. I'm glad I came while in my wedding dress though. It sure helped get me past that security gate!"

They shared a laugh before Riku grabbed her twin's arm and hurried away to get married to the man she loved.

* * *

"Daisuke…" said a blue eyed man imploringly. "It's been almost an hour…"

Stubbornly, Daisuke didn't even look at the man standing behind him. A light breeze swept through the shore as he kept on staring down the aisle, where his bride was sure to arrive. "She's coming, Satoshi. I know she is," he said, simply repeating what he said an hour ago.

Satoshi sighed, running a head through his hair. Damn Daisuke and his stubbornness. It's been almost an hour and no one has seen Riku. She wasn't at her house, wasn't in the beach house where they were supposed to get ready…she had disappeared. What else could Satoshi do to prove that this wasn't going to happen? People were already whispering and talking. Her parents as well as Daisuke's parents were growing anxious and worried. The priest continuously checked his watch. The bridesmaids and groomsmen – minus the one man from last night, thank heavens – talked to each other in hushed voices about what possibly might have happened. The maid of honor was not to be seen. The string quartet had run out of songs to play. The ceremony was beautifully set up, but without a bride, all the work and all the people here came for naught.

Groaning aloud, Satoshi couldn't take it anymore. Leaving his post being the groom, he went to Daisuke and grabbed his arm, whipping him around. "Daisuke," he said sternly. "Riku is gone. Get that through your stubborn red head, Niwa, and tell these people to go home!"

Hurt riddled for a split second in his eyes before Daisuke replied just as sternly. "Let them go home! I don't need them and I don't need you! I'm waiting here for her!"

Surprised at the uncharacteristic way he raised his voice, Satoshi nonetheless continued. "Daisuke! Stop being so-"

Suddenly, a murmur went through the small crowd. Everyone watched as a young woman clad in a beautiful blue and red long dress, an odd combination of colors for a wedding but looked gorgeous on her. It matched both the theme and her bridal party partner, the best man.

Satoshi's eyes widened at the sight of Harada Risa bounding towards him and felt a lurch in his stomach. She was beautiful of course…but the sight of her made him uneasy, made him angry, made him upset. But before he knew it, she had taken her place which was to be situated behind the bride, without a word or even a glance at him.

"She's…beautiful…" he heard Daisuke say and he looked towards where he was staring. While Satoshi had been staring at one twin in awe, Daisuke had been staring at the other twin at the end of the aisle, barely even noticing that Risa had entered. And lo and behold, there stood Riku, clad in her dress, her hair beautifully pinned up, bouquet at hand, and her face glowing.

Proven wrong, Satoshi took his place behind Daisuke again as the quartet starting playing the bridal procession song. Riku walked towards them slowly, oblivious to anything in front of her except the man of her dreams waiting for her. The guests disappeared. The decorations were invisible. All that she knew and saw was Daisuke waiting for her on their special beach.

Risa smiled at the scene and realized just how lucky she was to still be a part of this beautiful moment. To be able to see true love in action was humbling. And it gave you hope. Hope that you can possibly overcome your own personal issues in order to find that same kind of love.

Her eyes wandered to Satoshi whose eyes were already trained on her. Those eyes…those eyes that she had been captivated with for this entire month…Those eyes that had released its secrets to her…

A sadness and a hurt too immense for words emanated from them and a pang went through her heart as he viciously tore his gaze away, looking angrily at the sand underneath him.

* * *

The night had been going well. The restaurant was beautifully decorated and an elegant, romantic glow emanated from the room. Guests were enjoying themselves. The food was fantastic. The speeches have all been said. Pictures have been taken. Laughs and smiles and kisses were all that you saw between the happily married couple.

Somehow everything had turned out well for the wedding. There were a few minor details that Risa should've been able to smooth over if she had been present more often. But other than that, everything had worked out well.

Except her problem with one stubborn blue haired man.

He had immediately fled somewhere after his speech to Daisuke. A very heart-warming and unexpected speech about love and friendship from the usually cold-hearted Hiwatari. But it seemed that no matter how happy he was for the newlyweds, he himself couldn't share in it. He had disappeared before she could even talk to him alone. She had checked everywhere except one place…the garden with the fountain. She had already known that he was there. She just needed to gather up her courage first.

Finally, as the lights dimmed for some dancing, she slowly found herself outside in the brilliantly lit but empty garden. She gazed around, looking for him, when she finally found him seated at a secluded bench, his back slumped as his head hung down. An empty bottle of wine sat below him on the ground.

She neared his quiet figure when he finally spoke, his voice deep and throaty. "Go away, Harada…"

Her heart dropped at the name. "Satoshi…"

He lifted his head and revealed a tear-stained, ferocious face. "I said go away!"

Risa paused and looked down sadly. After a couple of minutes, she grabbed a purple hyacinth flower from a nearby bush and sat down next to him. His body obviously stiffened and his breath caught in his throat at her nearness. Risa held out the purple hyacinth to him.

"You said the first time we were here that these mean sorrow…" she whispered quietly. "…but they also mean 'I'm sorry,' ne?"

He looked at her, wondering where she could've gotten that from. He didn't think he told her that. But she simply gave a small smile and his heart leaped. Damn heart of his. Make up your damn mind. He took the flower in his hands and stared at it quietly.

"I'm sorry, Satoshi…" Risa said. "I'm sorry for everything that I said. I didn't mean anything that came out of my mouth nor anything rash that I did. I'm sorry for making you angry and being jealous and…for last night…" Satoshi looked at her and she looked back at him in sincerity. "My past will always be my past. So will yours. We can't forget them or change what has happened. But…we can change how we feel about them and how we act now." She looked at him with honest eyes. "We both have a lot of work to do…in terms of our pasts and how we act now…"

Satoshi looked away, still thinking about Dark's name coming from her lips, how that asshole groomsman had tried to take advantage of her, how Daisuke's lips had touched hers unwillingly. It all made him furious. But she was right. He was no saint either.

"But it's impossible…" he said suddenly, remembering how at peace she looked as she whispered Dark's name. "It's impossible to compete with someone you're always going to love. Even unconsciously."

Risa smiled then. "It's funny…" she said quietly. "The only thing that has helped me to keep going is the snowdrop flower I found all those years ago." She looked at him and saw a surprised expression on his face. "I had thought that Dark had left me that…that it was some proof that he indeed loves me. I focused on that single thought all these years. But all along…that was…you…wasn't it?" When he looked away in embarrassment, she simply continued. "In a way, Satoshi…I was thinking of you the whole time. All these years I had actually misplaced your care…for a man who didn't even give me a second glance."

"And he's stupid for doing so," Satoshi suddenly growled under his breath.

A small smile played on her lips at his comment. Gently, she lifted her hands and cradled his face. Their eyes got lost in each other's and Satoshi swore that his heart was about to burst from his chest. "I meant it when I said I need you, Satoshi…Do you think we can work on this…together?"

Without another word, Satoshi's lips had found hers in a ferocious kiss. He held her body close, his hands clutching her tiny waist as her fingers played with his hair. Risa smiled against his ravaging kisses, delighted with his response.

"Is that a yes?" Risa breathed, her lipstick smudged as he had slowly found his way to the crook of her neck, nibbling and kissing fiercely.

An almost annoyed and amused growled erupted from his throat. "It's a hell yes."

* * *

About two years later, Harada Risa took a deep breath, doing a mental checklist in her head, as all wedding planners do.

_Reception area decorated: check.  
Centerpiece: candelabrums complete with candles and riddled with blue and white tiny flowers  
Catering/cake: Delicious Delicacy  
Color themes: white with an accent of light blue  
Flowers: snowdrop flowers and delphiniums  
Groom: …_

_"Risa!" an excited Riku exclaimed, barging into the room in a satin light blue dress. "Are you ready!?"_

Risa breathed deeply and smiled at the maid of honor before turning to the mirror and taking in her appearance. "As ready as I'll ever be."

From behind closed doors, Risa watched as the lineup of the bridal party marched down the aisle towards the beautifully lit fountain in the garden of Riku's restaurant. Her heart was beating viciously as she held the bouquet of tiny blue and white flowers in her hand. Soon, the only people left were her sister and her one-year-old nephew, clad in a tiny white suite and clutching onto a pillow with fake rings tied to it.

Riku turned to her twin, holding her red-headed son in her arms. She took in Risa's nervous expression and gave a smile. "You've planned lots of weddings and _now_ you're nervous," she joked.

Risa simply gave her an exasperated look.

"You'll be fine. Once the door opens, you'll see."

And with that, Riku continued with the bridal procession, her little ring bearer at hand.

Risa heard the music slightly change. The doors opened slowly and she was hit with warm sunlight and the smiles of her closest friends and family.

And then she spotted him at the end of the aisle, waiting just in front of their fountain with hundreds of snowdrop flower bushes surrounding him. Clad in a white tuxedo and a blue tie, his eyes had widened at her appearance and they melted into an expression of pure disbelief and joy.

The nerves disappeared as did everyone and everything around her except him. Eyes locked on his, she started to make her way down the aisle, almost anxious to finally be next to him.

As a wedding planner, all the details disappeared. And she realized that the only thing that mattered was the final thing on her list.

The groom.

* * *

**Phew! I'm finally finished with this story! I know it's been awhile, but thank you to all you've read and reviewed! But especially thank you to those who have stuck with this story! Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy!  
**


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